I was seventeen years old and already a mother of one child who was a year old. I became pregnant with my second child and out of fear of the father's fight with Leukemia decided I could not lose a child to cancer and the appropriate thing to do was prevent the child's possible future suffering and ultimately my own as well.
I had a dilatation and curettage procedure done to abort the pregnancy a couple of weeks later than normal with a doctor recommended by professionals in a hospital setting and the pregnancy was terminated. It was simple day surgery. I went home and resumed life. Within five days, I became feverish and could barely walk. The pain was like lightning through my body and my parents who were unaware of the dilatation and curettage procedure took me to emergency.
I informed the staff of the surgery and was immediately taken in for testing and put into the intensive care unit. My status was getting worst by the hour and I think it was the next day a second dilatation and curettage procedure was scheduled to remove tissue left behind by the previous doctor.
I was rushed to the hospital. I remember the ambulance ride there but that is pretty much my last fully lucid memory of the whole experience. I was in and out of consciousness for what seemed like minutes at a time. I remember a doctor waking me and telling me it was time to inform my parents. The surgery couldn't be hidden anymore. I gave the doctor permission to tell them and lost consciousness again until my mom shook me awake hollering intolerable albeit deserved obscenities at my actions and me.
She and my dad left the hospital. I truly believed I would never see them again.
At that moment, I remember losing the ability to breathe on my own. I would describe it as a panic attack. My lungs were in trauma due to a blood clot in them and the need for excessive oxygen. I remember begging the doctors and nurses to keep me alive at all costs. I was told the only way they could was if I consented to life support. The next thing I knew I was being told they were inserting a tube in my throat. This is where my experience was most lucid. This is where I left the world as I knew it. There was no travel it was simply done.
My eyes opened up and I was sitting cross-legged on what could have been a platform or even midair. My surroundings were a bright white light that enveloped everything except me. However, the light was not blinding nor did it hurt the eyes in any way. It was really rather calming and full of love. It was warm, the most peaceful experience I have ever had, and the most loved I ever felt. (I often find myself longing for that feeling again. Praying for it.)
I could see everything from every angle all at once. I could look at myself from an 'rial perspective or I could look at my profile from the side and it was then that I noticed I was wearing a toga of all things. A gorgeous white linen almost silky looking robe covered one shoulder and wrapped my whole body in white. The only color in the space was my skin and my hair. I was in my body in what I would describe as a meditative state. I was in meditation pose and at the very same instant, I was aware of all my surroundings but I was also the energy in the space that was more alert and aware than ever of every sense except touch.
I wasn't in a room with four walls and a floor and a ceiling - the only structure of any kind I could see clearly was what resembled a thin paper like wall behind me that was the same bright white as everything else only it had the pattern of honeycombs like the inside of a beehive. It wasn't solid it was simply the shape of hundreds of honeycombs repeatedly on the paper and white light emanated from this wall too.
My back was to this honeycomb like wallpaper or even rice paper is a better description it was so very thin it was almost not there. The honeycomb shapes were though very prominent. The lines that defined the honeycombs were even white. The wall didn't appear to be three-dimensional. The space had no definition aside from this honeycomb background and it went on forever or at least appeared to.
I felt like I was there in that space, is the only way I can define it because the only structure was that back wall, for a lifetime but at the same time it only felt like a heartbeat of a second. My person was at true peace and I felt like I was preparing for something. It was as if I was gathering the energy needed for a task. I know not what that was though.
In the next instant, I heard a male voice and it said 'It's time to go back now.' I smiled toward the voice and didn't fight in any way. I simply accepted his words with pride even and as I reached toward the outreached hand the second skin to skin contact was made I was back in my body. I don't believe that this voice or hand was Jesus or God or anyone else of high stature to the other side. I simply believe it was the voice of a person who knew my fate better than I.
I am told this event corresponds with my spouse of thirteen years saying hello instead of goodbye while my family was at my bedside saying their farewells to me. The second my spouse said, 'Hello' I came to. I started ripping tubes out of me and made an immediate miraculous recovery. Hours earlier, I was on my deathbed. My parents were actually called back to the hospital to say their goodbyes. I have no recollection of this event.
I only have lucid memories of my first two days and my last two days in hospital. The rest of my experience in hospital I would place in the hands of my experience in the light. I have come to accept and theorize that I was taken care of so I didn't experience suffering during what should have been an excruciating death or fight for life. I don't remember any pain after the initial two days and have been plagued by health issues ever since this incident.
I often wonder if this is what I was preparing for. I wouldn't wish my daily pain on my worst enemy. I wouldn't wish my current life obstacles on anyone else. While minimal compared to what the starving or the addicted experience, I have never known my life to be smooth sailing. I was hoping that was what I was sent back for, to experience some good to hold onto on the other side.
However, I love every breath I get to take and every instant I get with my family. I am grateful, back then, I would not have been. I was a lost soul before I experienced this and now I am an enlightened one.
Date NDE Occurred: Early March 1997
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-related sepsis that led to pulmonary embolism in lung. Ended up on life support for 4 days. My experience in hospital was about 3 to 4 weeks. I only remember about 3 days total. Other never asked if clinical death occurred. But life threatening event/illness (sepsis)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The minute my eyes opened up and I was aware of the light.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The minute my eyes opened up and I was aware of the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt like I was there forever and at the same time only for a breath of a minute.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like viewing a bright green ocean for the very first time - the clarity and translucency was awe inspiring. How could anything be that perfect?
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Words didn't matter, sound didn't matter, and when words were spoken by that voice they were calming. Angelically calming.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Only a hand and arm, nothing else.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes White light was omnipresent.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt like my spiritual energy was the space - the body just a transportation device like a car. I was still me. Just very safe and very peaceful and very aware all at once.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain Only structure was the paper thin wall.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist I knew there was a God and Jesus. I strongly believed it but hadn't attended church in years
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I never thought we were alone or not supported by the other side.
What is your religion now? Moderate Same as above
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I never thought we were alone or not supported by the other side.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I felt like I knew what was ahead but was blissfully unaware of it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I used to be a stubborn spontaneous teenager and now I never think of myself - I always put others first to a fault. My health suffers.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I was always sensitive to people's emotions and as a child would routinely see my relatives who had passed visiting me at night. After this event I have had many premonitions that have come to pass over many years with scary accuracy.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The touch of the hand stands out most of all - the light seemed to explode or expand exponentially and I awoke in my body.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only people I feel closest to which are very few, my brother turned away from drugs and alcohol as a result and my best friend is very open to taking any advice or experiences I have regarding premonitions and very rarely experiencing loved ones who passed. I see lights orbs, and hear the odd sentence relating to friends.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Heard things growing up.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There was no doubt in my mind - I never suffered.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was more real than anything I have ever experienced here on earth I feel like that is home and this is the dream.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have never felt anything more pure than the experience. NEVER. I have given birth three times and even that pales in comparison to this moment.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No.