Experience Description


APRIL 3, 1973


I went into labor with my second child, after a long hot week. I was very tired from lack of sleep and the labor seemed “not quite right.” Trying to relax was difficult, but we even had time to call our church from the hospital, and ask for prayer during the Wed night prayer meeting. Also, the childbirth class we had attended came by with a film crew. “Hey, we got some good footage!” they said. Like I could have cared! I just wanted to get this kid out! The baby’s heartbeat slowed, and we went into the delivery room; I had just enough time for some anesthesia, and whammo! Out he popped. He was a “blue” baby, with the cord around his neck three times. He had been active in the womb, but now he was in trouble. He had fluid in his lungs and severe jaundice. They rushed him to Critical Care.


With the birth mirrors still in place, I looked up, and a ton of blood was still coming after the placenta delivered. “Is that MY blood?” I asked. It wouldn’t stop flowing! I felt a tremendous weariness sweep over me. I tried to move my lips again, but even breathing was hard. I couldn’t get out that I felt a cold, wrong-ness spreading over me!! “Doctor, I’m losing her…” I heard the nurse reading the numbers on the blood pressure meter as my pressure lowered; I saw the incredulous look in her eyes. I felt the Life force oozing out of me. I said a quick prayer inside myself:


“Oh Jesus, I hope you’re everything I’ve been


worshipping all these years! Please take care


of my new little son; please take care of my


beautiful daughter. I love them so much.


God I give You my Soul…”


And I was suddenly above my body! It seemed the most natural thing in the world! I had hands, feet, and everything was as normal; I was me in some sort of soft gown.


There I was, above my poor, limp body, and yet I felt fine. I was ME: body, personality, and NO TIREDNESS. I regarded the shell of my body. Gee! I don’t look so bad! I thought. All my life I had been called “big boned’, but I looked normal! I had always been compared to my 5 ft. tall, 100 lbs. sister! But here I was lying there—looking pretty and normal. I did notice that I didn’t look like a mirror image. My body had more dimension. As I regarded this body, I was aware of all the emotion and frantic activity in the room. They were all so upset. “I can’t find a pulse,” said the nurse next to me. She was shocked. I had been a normal pregnancy. Another nurse said, “Where’s the Crash cart?” I didn’t know what a crash cart was, but it sounded important. They started CPR. I was sad they were so upset, but I was FINE. I had no, repeat no concern for my new baby or daughter; they were in God’s hands. My husband, who had been rushed out of the room, looked totally bewildered, as hands pushed him through the doors. I knew he would be given Heavenly Guidance.


While all this was happening, a Light filled the room. The Doctor’s arm was stuck in me far enough as to stuff a turkey; but the growing Light was increasing, and pure, soft, joyous. I saw it permeate every inch of the room. Even as I had lifted out of my body, there were Beings on both sides of me, as I observed all that. Forget cherubim, these were the BIG guys-- HUGE, POWERFUL Angels, with even more powerful white feathered wings.


“Ooou, feathers,” I remember thinking. I wanted to touch those wings so much; they looked so soft. There was one tiny feather within my reach…NO! As I reached, the Angels started to escort me; that was there job…and to keep me safe (from what? I wondered). We floated down or through a tunnel that had opened up from a small dark point. As we went towards the large, circular entrance, we left the room behind. We kept moving forward.


It was incredibly black and dark. The hospital room faded back into nothing. The Angels glowed softly, and I had no fear as we traveled to the speck of Light at the future end of our floating. There was a soft “whooshing,” but I wasn’t really listening. What I did notice was that the tunnel, itself, was as if it was made or had sectional parts (like a kids hoop in the back yard), which were joined by burning, yellow energy/flame-type rings, that didn’t fully appear until AFTER we went through them! The “energy rings” were just were just like the rings or hoops in the Hopi walk, but I didn’t know this till many years later.


As we passed through the rings and sections, a single tone would sound. I could see ahead and behind me, as we passed through the rings. They interested me at the time. The Angels on either side of me had NO interest in anything other than getting me to the enlarging Light. I felt totally at peace. The Angels never touched me; we were joined by some invisible power, like love. I was in no pain, from the hemorrhaging; I felt “whole.”


Once we got to the end, the Angels disappeared or went off. I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of people all different sizes, shapes, and heights. Men and women (no children or wheelchairs) all dressed in a soft white, simple, plain long clothing, each with a gold sash at the waist. All were smiling and accepted me just as I was in my humanity. No one had a fault-finding or critical attitude. The meeting was joyous, not scary. I did not see any family members, but I felt as if I was a member of a large, general family there.


Over to one side, on my right, was something amazing. I moved (floating not walking) over to look. There were steps, ivory, glowing steps. At the bottom of the steps were tiny spirit beings, cherubim? They were constantly singing the praises of God: HOLY HOLY HOLY TO THE LORD OF HOSTS; GLORY GLORY GLORY TO GOD; HOLY IS HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, TRUTH AND POWER…They just went on and on. As they sang, I thought at first they each had three sets of arms, but they didn’t; it was just one set each. The reason for thinking they had multiple arms was that all their arms were constantly moving at rapid speed. The arms covered their lips, ears, and eyes as they sang. I never fully understood the deep, symbolic meaning of those motions, but I know there was one. I now think it was: May what I say glorify the Lord God; May what I hear glorify the Lord God; May what I see glorify the Lord God, because that was each one’s attitude. As well as arms constantly moving, each cherubim had wings that revved up and down slightly, beating all the time, with the intensity of worship. The wings made a slight buzzing sound, but it was soft, and there was no wind that came from the wings beating.


I would have been happy to stay there with them for all eternity. My Soul welled up within me to worship God with them; oh, how I wanted to kneel down and stay with them! The Light permeating everything was especially strong there. The steps led up to God, and such was His brightness, that I could not look directly at Him. It wasn’t the crystal-like, prism-like Light, but rather because of His Holiness. Everything was beautiful! I was allowed/able to see Jesus, smiling at me. I was so overwhelmed, but happy, I could hardly react! Joyous is the word.


Suddenly, a podium appeared. Yes, the hundreds of beings were still watching me, angels, and God and Jesus in their glorious Firmament were now behind me. I had turned to my left and somehow moved slightly forward (although there was no real “direction”). I was in some sort of Courtroom. The crowds “over there” could see and hear everything that happened, and could share what I was feeling. They waited, as I did; no one spoke in the crowd, no one spoke to me.


Although Jesus apparently had moved and now stood slightly to my back left, I wasn’t totally aware of Him at that time. Why? Because an Entity had appeared. After he appeared, my Life Review began. I was given to understand that that was what it was. This was awful.


EVERYTHING I ever thought, did, said, hated, helped, did not help, should have helped was shown in front of me, the crowd of hundreds and everyone like a movie. How mean I’d been to people, how I could have helped them, how mean I was (unintentionally also) to animals! Yes! Even the animals had had feelings. It was horrible. I fell on my face in shame. I saw how my acting, or not acting, rippled in effect towards other people and their lives. It wasn’t until then, that I understood how each little decision or choice affects the World. The sense of letting my Savior down was too real. Strangely, even during this horror, I felt a compassion, an acceptance of my limitations by Jesus and the crowd of Others.


During this Review, the Evil being was there. I looked at him; he was handsome, not ugly. Black hair, medium build, dressed in a brown robe w/black cord at his waist, his eyes caught my attention. They were a black void! There was no life or goodness in them. Intense in every way, his only Purpose was to possess, own, control my very Soul and make me suffer!! I shrank back in horror. Every time, during the Review, that I erred or failed, he enjoyed it immensely. He would shout out, “THERE! See how she messed up?” He would accuse me, “Why didn’t she do better? Or help more? She ought to be punished!” I was desolate. My few, little good works didn’t and couldn’t measure up to God’s perfect standard. I deserved any punishment I got. My soul was desolate. I lay dreading what would happen.


Then, when it was over, a huge deep voice boomed out:


IS SHE COVERED BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB?


YES!!!


The courtroom disappeared, and the evil being, Satan, screamed! He hissed like a snake, turned and whirled like a tornado, but got smaller and smaller. He shrunk down to a pile of dust and pouf! Disappeared completely, after screaming in anger the whole time.


Everything in that setting was gone, except the Heavenly crowd and Jesus Christ. He gazed at me with INCREDIBLE love! He held out his nail pierced hands and wrists, that although healed completely, had the outline of the crucifixion marks. This was no wimpy Jesus. He was strong, powerful, tall as a ceiling, and shining all over! His long, white hair was nothing compared to his burning, liquid gold eyes. They burned with Purity, Joy, and Purpose. He opened his mouth, and I saw his tongue extend and heard a loud sound like a freight train! The rushing and roaring sound that came out was almost deafening. He spoke of who He was, and that he was my advocate with God the Father. I fell down in awe and worshipped Him with my very Soul. I cried with Joy like a baby. Just like the woman of old, I wanted to touch Him, but humbly just tried to touch the hem of his long, white simple gown. He stopped me point blank, as I gazed up at His glorious, loving smile. He loved and accepted me—totally. I was filled with peace and contentment.


A gigantic book appeared, with gold edges, and opened itself. It was as big as three buildings. A huge, lightening bold “finger” appeared. As it skimmed over the pages, they turned automatically. In this Book was the name of fathers, mothers, and their children. Also, the death dates if the person had died. The “finger” moved to my family’s line.


THE DEEP VOICE AGAIN: IS IT HER TIME? NO!!!


In less than a blink, WHAM! I was back in my earthly body! OH YUCK! I was hot, sticky, sweaty, and h-e-a-v-y to the max! UGH. Forget about moving; it was hard to even breathe! I felt like a ton of bricks. I didn’t like this at all!! Tears streamed down my cheeks. “I WANT TO GO BACK…BACK,” I croaked out.


The nurse looked down at me with a radiant face, “Welcome home,” she said. “We lost you there for a while.” Then she realized what I said. “Back? Where would you go? Don’t you want to see your baby?” Remembering my glorious experience, I blurted out, “No! My baby’s fine; he’s in God’s hands I’m sure. I want to go BACK! Please let me go back.”


“Oh!” she said, “Were you in that place where it’s all white, and you saw Jesus?” Yes, I replied. “Is it as beautiful as they say?” she asked. Yes. She leaned toward me and said, “We’ve had this happen BEFORE! I hope I get to go there.” I sighed in resignation.


The doctor and his staff looked like they’d been through the wringer. My mouth finally worked better, and I apologized for “keeping” them so long. They just looked at each other numbly. The next morning, the doctor came to visit me on “Rounds.” He said he’d gotten 3-4 hours of sleep and held my hand for a moment. I was shocked. Back then, doctors hardly gave you the time of day. He said softly, “When you’re ready, I’d like you to tell me what happened. I lost you one, two times really, on the table. Can you tell me now?” What? I thought. OH THAT…and I grabbed my head and moaned, as the memory came flooding back. It felt like my head was exploding for a few minutes. “Are you in pain?” “No,” I replied, “it just all came flooding back. I actually feel GREAT!” and I did. After I got used to remembering it all in record speed, I adjusted, and felt better than ever! I smiled up at him. He left, after getting me to promise to tell him later.


Weeks later I did call the doctor; he put his other calls on Hold. He listened and told me that he had seven women from my Church, that had almost identical experiences; six women from other churches. He was so kind and encouraging.


After that and when I was healed, I went to a Wed night prayer meeting.


Those women could really pray fervently! When we were done, they paused and looked at me. “You know, Alexa, you look different; did anything happen after your son’s birth?” I smiled and said I’d had an Experience. They smiled and understood! It was THEM- we’d all found each other! It was glorious.


After my NDE I knew I was to raise my children to be Christians, strong ones. In my family filled with divorce that would be an accomplishment! My paternal great grandmother had lost her second child, a boy; I always felt my second child, my son with my Near Death Experience, was the offset to that loss.


I gave him to God; he is now a Minister serving God. Both he and my daughter love the Lord. I am Blessed.


Other NDEs:


I at 5 years old after coming out of anesthesia from tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, and tongue trimming; fully awake; began to choke on ice cream; Dr. said, "There she goes again..." which always made me wonder if I had blacked out in Recovery...but I was IN Recovery, so when did my heart stop? Anyway, I went to a velvet Blackness, with an all-knowing Intelligence, whose Love was unconditional. I didn't want to go back. I didn't understand WHY my mother and grandmother had allowed this stranger, the doctor, to hurt me so much. I loved being in the Blackness. I do know that as I started to pass out, they did chest compressions. Apparently, they did them the whole time I was out-probably minutes, because my chest hurt when I was aroused.


I remembered liking anesthesia; that was different from the Blackness; more like Sleep.


I did come back, against my Will. The doctor said, "Let's not let that happen again."


I never fully trusted my mother or grandmother afterwards.


I also could "Read" people, from that time on= the Start of Intuition


It was a long ride back to the house, and for once, my grandmother held me the whole way back to her house, where we lived. It was a cold, Spring night-like late March-and she held me in a blanket. I didn't sleep-my throat hurt too much. My grandmother insisted on taking us home that night, but I do remember seeing the cold, white stars out the window.


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II in 4/3/1973 was the MAJOR NDE, in that I had no brainwave or heartbeat for an extended amount of time and had an intense, detailed NDE. Felt SUPER the next morning, after 4-5 hours sleep. Got up, walked the hallway, much to the nurses horror. Felt great the whole time. I often wonder if the quick physical healing was a gift--considering I'd lost so much blood!


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III was three months after II. I was exhausted from caring for both children. My husband was reading in bed, and I had been talking to him. Next thing I knew, I felt a HUGE weight on my chest! I couldn't breathe. I truly think it was a heart attack. I closed my eyes for the inevitable.


I entered into a Lake and world of the Blackfoot Indians of Montana and Canada. The Lake was cool and I stood there in the waist-high water. The Beaver people (animals) swam around me and I was SO happy. My arms stretched out and my hair spread, as I lowered myself totally into the water. I could breathe underwater.


However, the white spirits in the water did not like me being there. I tried to show them I meant well, by staying still. It didn't work. They came at me with a vengeance and wrapped long, white arms around me to root me in the water and kill me. They were quick. I actually heard my Inner Spirit say, "I'm out of here," and the next thing I knew, I was in Heaven with my beloved Grandfather, who had died late '50s...AND MY FATHER WHO WAS STILL ALIVE!


Gampy said, "This is all Wrong!" I was so happy! ha ha but he said, "YOU MUST GO BACK--BOTH OF YOU, RIGHT NOW!" and I did. I never got to ask my Dad if he remembered that. I returned to my body, now soaked in sweat, I mean drenched. I groaned to tell my husband something was wrong. He had looked my II NDE up in the Bible and was floored to see the wording accurate! Now he looked at me annoyed, and said, "What's the matter with YOU?" I gurgled out that I think I'd had a heart attack. He said, "Do I have to call an ambulance? We can't really afford it."


I said, "Let's change the sheets..." His eyes bugged out at how wet they were. I wearily dragged myself out of bed, peeled off my gown, put on a new one after drying myself, and helped him make the bed as much as I could. I was tired. He was annoyed we had to do all that. He said, "Look, if anything happens again, just say something." I told him I couldn't, but that I'd try to gesture or something. I wasn't up to telling him about WHAT I'd seen.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Childbirth