Experience Description

My father had a bad accident at work so he was off for a while. Our dad's friend had a cottage up north and he offered to take us there for a week. It was a beautiful day but a little on a cool side. My brother and me were at a deck on a river and he pushed me into the water, as a joke, then ran away thinking I will be chasing him.

I was fighting to get out of the water but because fully clothed and with shoes on I couldn't get out. I was going down and as much as I was trying to swim up, I couldn't. I have been swimming since I was a baby but I couldn't get to the surface. My clothes and my shoes were so heavy and pulling me down. It was so scary. I was fighting for a breath. My lungs and my throat hurt and burnt. It felt like my chest is going to explode and then it all stopped. It got quiet and peaceful. I saw my hands floating in front of my face. I remember looking at them with no emotion. I could see the sunrays cutting through the water, shining on the rocks, and thought how beautiful they were. I saw the weeds floating around me; I saw parts of my life in front of my eyes. But the most important was the PEACE that I felt. I felt light and peaceful like nothing else mattered. Then a question popped in my head, 'Am I really ready to die?' and found myself fighting again to get out of the water. I woke up on the deck. I don't know how I got out but no one was there. Just me.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Summer of 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Me and my brother were at a deck on a river and he pushed me into the water, as a joke, then ran away thinking I will be chasing him.' 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' drowning Because I stopped breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I stopped breathing and everything became peaceful.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I stopped breathing and everything became peaceful.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain It was daylight during the time of incident and I saw the sun rays but I don't recall 'the light' unless you consider the Sun the Light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first it was panic and fear and then peacefulness/calmness, like nothing else mattered.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control It was pieces of my life from different ages. I learned more to appreciate my life. You never know if you will have another day, what is going to happen next minute, hour or day. Live life like it was your last. Be good to yourself as well as others.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I believe that it was a year after the incident, I was hanging out with a wrong friend and I guess it somewhat rubbed off on me and my relationship with my mom was suffering. I had a dream one night, I dreamt of a white room with no walls and there was no end to it. It was really, really bright and it looked filled with white smoke. In a center of that room, was throne and an old man sat in it. He was dressed in white, had long hair and beard but I could not see his face. He asked me 'Do you see how much pain are you causing?' and then I woke up. I changed to better after this dream because I knew I just have met SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL. Was it God? I don't know but I would like to believe it was. Following year, two years after the incident we moved from Toronto, where we lived at the time, to Niagara-On-The-Lake. My parents bought our first home. Shortly after moving in, I started seeing a ghost of a man and of a woman. I experienced some unpleasant and scary moments/situations with a ghost of a man but I only saw a woman once.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Well yes, that the pain was just temporary and then the feeling of complete Peacefulness followed. It felt ok. It felt so right. I never ever felt like this before. I was at peace with myself. I felt so light, freed of everyday troubles, other emotions. It might be funny but I smile each time I think of this experience, about the FEELING of PEACE. It just felt right.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Well, after the experience I didn't even talk to my brother about it because I knew he would feel bad about it. It took me about three years to tell somebody. I told it to my best friend at a time because we were talking about ghosts and such and she looked amazed but I do not really know if she believed me or not so if she was influenced by it I cannot say.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I read couple of books called 'Life After Death' but I do not recall anybody writing about drowning.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real After my experience and being out on the deck I went inside to change. It hit me soon after, I believe it was same day. I went into the forest and cried. I had all those emotions and I didn't understand what to do with them. I became scared at the thought that I was so close of losing my life completely. I thought of my mom and was upset about not seeing her or her not seeing me again - then I was happy I was alive and I should take advantage of the second chance at life.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Maybe I do not see the life events clearly anymore but when I close my eyes I see how I fought to get to the surface, I feel and fear and panic and then I feel that PEACE, silence, I see sun rays, weeds. It was beautiful and that feeling and what I saw I will never forget.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think it was a good questionnaire.