The experience began within a white space and with a telepathic voice, the gender I could not tell. The voice said ‘Do you want to go forward or do you want to go back?’ I instinctively knew what the voice was asking and excitedly I chose forward. It was then that I noticed the dog that stood beside me and I felt others close behind. It puzzled me, but not entirely.
Suddenly before me was an arch-shaped gate with smaller arches/gates on either side. All was white and there were three steps that curved up on either side of the gates. Again, I ‘heard’ the voice ‘Do you want to go forward or do you want to go back?’ This time the dog and I ran toward the left stairs and up to the first gate. I knew again, what the voice was asking and again I wanted to go on. At the smaller first gate, two dogs awaited the dog with me. The gate was iridescent and I could not see through it. Interestingly, I tried to walk through with the dog and the other dogs telepathically told me that I needed to go in the larger gate and that I could see my new friend if I wanted, later. (Yes, I now find this quite amusing.)
I then went to the larger main gate. It was moving, iridescent, and colorful. I walked through into blackness. Somewhere in my thoughts I called it the ‘hallway’ and as I traveled further down the hallway something started to happen. I began to float and an overwhelming sense of love swarmed my being. I still cannot describe what this felt like. There is no earthly comparison: and I say that being a devoted and loving wife and mother. I started to feel so excited that I began to spin while still floating and moving. Then I did something interesting, I tried to gasp for breath as if the awareness of my physical body was still trying to pull me back. I heard the voice once more and this time it said ‘There is no need to breathe air. There is only love.’
I still, stubbornly, tried to catch my breath, but now I noticed that I had no feet, no body, but I still felt like me. I at once ‘looked’ and at the end of the black hallway was a light. Moving closer to the light, I saw someone waiting for me. I could not tell if this was a man or a woman, but knew that he or she was a guide or important to my life, and had always been. I walked with the being, into the light, as others were streaming in behind me. There were individuals in lines and I could mentally talk to them all at once, and they me. I knew they were moving on to the light. This felt like a way station.
The being took me over to ‘sit’. I still don't know how. He or she said to me without words, ‘You have to go back’. I responded defiantly, ‘No I'm staying home!’ The Being, again, made the same statement and I, again, refused until he or she just bore something in me: The knowledge that I did indeed have more to do and needed to return. I was to have children and I needed to know about the availability of this great unspeakable love, which I referred to as God. I traveled with others who were also going back. The handful of us left the light and walked up a small grassy hill. There was a lake there and a sun setting that never completely set. I looked at the sunset and was slammed into my body.
My whole chest and head flew up to a sitting position and as I grasped for air, I noticed that my entire face was covered in tears. I could not stop crying. I wanted nothing more than to go back home, but I was back in my bed where I needed to be. Days later, I went to work and a friend walked who was quite sad. I asked what was wrong and she said that a couple of days ago she hit a dog with her car and the dog died. I stopped her and described the dog in my experience. She was in shock, the dog that was with me was the exact description of the dog she hit and killed on the same exact night.
Today, I have two beautiful boys. What I didn't mention was, at the time of my NDE, I was told by many doctors that I would never have children. I had five miscarriages/In Vitro Fertilizations/and various other treatments, all of which were a failure. During this specific time in my life, I had already had three miscarriages and later, I went on to have two more. I did eventually have two beautiful boys without any medical intervention. My oldest had told me that he was sent from a world with colors in the sky and I needed to have him because he is a healer. He said this at two years old and followed his confession with a statement: ‘Mommy and Daddy, There are doctors and there are healers, but not all doctors are healers.’
Date NDE Occurred: 6/2001
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening.
Episode of apnea during sleep.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I realized I had no body. I felt more and understood more.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was a difference. I knew I wasn't looking in the traditional sense of ‘looking’.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nor was I hearing with ears.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The hallway
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes No relatives
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes White light that was encompassing, but not difficult to take.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm See story
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Elated
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Buddhist At the time I had a full meditative practice and ventured to silent retreats many times throughout the year. My spiritual practice concentrated on loving-kindness.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes They are more grounded.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths After my experience I no longer felt as though "religion" in the everyday sense was a valuable path for me. I instead looked toward making my actions in alignment with what I valued in all religions. I had the direct experience that the love I felt was meant to be realized. In other words, that the world was intended at this time to move from a place of knowledge to a place of love.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes A vast openness. I no longer have an aversion to other faiths.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin See story
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes the love was in everything.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes moving from a place of knowledge to love
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes God is love and is in everything and there is no real distance between that realm and earth
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life. The experience has changed me forever. To feel that love for one moment is like being given a gift that blesses you to such a degree that you want and need to give it to others. I would take one minute of that than all the riches in the world.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The love is still difficult to explain.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I’ve had dreams, all of my life that were ‘telling,’ so to speak. Since my experience, I have never had anyone close to me or those I love die: without me knowing first. I also dream of those that have passed and get information from them.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes From the first day until now. The responses vary. I was working in the hospital Emergency Room, some years back, when a woman came in who tried to commit suicide because her teenage son died. Days later, I went to see her in the psych unit and told her my story. She cried and was so happy. She said that was all she wanted, just to know that he's okay and that someone was waiting for him.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Nothing was ever as real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Even years later, the experience is part of me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My experience was one that was experienced by me, a normal, down-to-earth woman who never did drugs or drank; who at the time was just trying to love the world a little more every day. Now I am a mom/wife/and simple member and worker in my community who still feels the same and still remembers every single moment of that night.