When I was thirteen I broke my neck, which was a remarkable type of break 'C-1' in three places. I had caused the neck break by running into a brick wall more than once running with head down. I hit the wall three times and finely fell down. I was a child with a temper. And if you were to tell me something I would throw a fit. Well as I had fell to the ground, my body was shaking really badly as to what family had told me.
As my soul was leaving my body, I felt at peace. Than I saw myself kneeling in front of a light. I wasn't scared, I was just asking for mercy. This was after my body was at a cold still. I had heard a voice calling to me and it is still stuck in my head. The voice had said to me 'Not your time.'
Then I was back in a broken body. When I got to the hospital, they rushed me to the x-ray machine and had taken x-rays. The doctor had spoken to my mom and gave me a twenty-four hour watch. The next day I had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom. The doctors rushed in the room all were amazed. They were going to tell my mom that they were going to give me a 50/50 chance of to walk again. I never had neck surgery; I had home therapy. After that experience, I couldn't remember anything of my childhood. I had felt like a totally different person. I have been asking myself all the time, 'Why God did you send me back here?'
Now at the age of thirty-five I have something new to experience, three herniated discs, which are all located next to my heart. I can't ever have surgery to relieve the pain. I deal with pain every day of my life asking myself why? Am I supposed to be only here to deal with pain or what is my life purpose? I have been spiritually messed up for years. I have no path to follow. I am now at the age of thirty-five and disabled. I have been trying to open my third eye by meditation. I do a lot of meditating to try to calm my herniated discs from acting up. I have been praying to God and asking him why but like it or not, no answer. But from time to time I feel like there is a presence watching over me.
Date NDE Occurred: 1988
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I think in the afternoon not sure.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I think in the afternoon not sure.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Felt peaceful.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain All around.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright light with a strong Voice.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peaceful and confused.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Thank God.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Wicca
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Been very religious confused. Because I pray and sometimes the answer is no or uncertain.
What is your religion now? Moderate Wicca
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Been very religious confused. Because I pray and sometimes the answer is no or uncertain.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Only had two girlfriends. And I can't seem to find my soul mate.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes There are times I hear voices calling to me when no one is there. When my grandmother died, I wrote to her and asking her to come to me in a dream holding hands with my grandfather. I had saw them smiling and waving at me. Other times, I feel the presence of spirits around me. And I know my own aura color which is white and blue.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, seeing myself kneeling in front of a light. And surviving a serious neck injury I have caused myself.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Twenty-two years and they were confused and shocked and didn't believe me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Was upset and wanted to go back to the peaceful place. I tried to kill myself over the years. I was emotionally confusing for me. Which it is still is to this day.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Very real it was like being on Earth but in a much better, warm place.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is just a wonderful experience but it would mess you up like me.