Željko G NDE

Experience Description

It was a cold winter night. I was on guard with another soldier. That soldier was over 2 meters tall, over 150 kilograms, and calm by nature. We were poorly armed, and I stuck close to him because he had an old Šarac machine gun. I thought that if he got hit, I would shoot it because I had a very old rifle.

We were in a semi-open garage. Suddenly, he went a bit crazy, made noise, started lighting his lighter on the strongest setting, and gave away our position. I tried to calm him down, but I could not do anything else but tell him to quickly light a cigarette. Inside myself, I was saying loudly, never again the two of us together, never again.

At that moment, an incredible light occurred that seemed to bind us. I had the impression that a minute had passed, and I wanted to move. At that same moment, I simultaneously heard myself screaming and the impact from that soldier as the explosion threw him with all his force onto me. In a split second, I flew 12 meters and fell onto concrete.

I had a helmet on my head that was pierced, but it did not fall off my head when I fell headfirst onto concrete. I was absolutely aware of everything. I did not lose consciousness, but I was completely paralyzed. That perhaps saved my life because grenades were falling around me, and I was amazed that none hit me again.

I was terrified. Then silence followed. I could not move at all. Horror seized me because I was in a village full of wild and hungry animals. I was afraid that pigs or dogs would eat me.

At one moment, I realized I was moving away from myself. I lifted into the air and left, and I no longer saw myself. Then I came to some black space. I was lying on my back as if on some even blacker lake and could not move.

I began to slowly turn, and horror started to grip me because I had the impression that below were skeletons, monsters, and the like. Worst of all, there was an abyss with no return. Somehow, I turned onto my back again and, terrified, thought, would I spend eternity here?

Then, in a short time, I went through my entire life. I thought about what I could have done better, what I did not get to do, and how I did not say goodbye to my loved ones. It is interesting how you still feel like a human, even more strongly. You see everything, hear everything, and feel everything.

Then I noticed something in a wall that looked like a honeycomb, or many small TVs connected into a whole. In each one, I was myself, going back as far as I can remember. I think it also contained everything from people and the universe, but that did not interest me. What interested me was the fact that I saw everything I had done in life and the times when there had been doubts.

In life, I had many possibilities, even when you only think about a decision. What is important is that every decision was like a crossroads where new compartments open up. There were those I lived through and those I could have lived through. I emphasize that every change gives birth to new compartments and a new universe, and that goes on infinitely.

As I began to realize that I was dead and in who-knows-what space, I thought I would remain forever on that dense lake. Suddenly, a small passage opened at the top of that space, and I saw the first stars. Gradually, the passage widened more and more, and I slowly rose above that dark space. When I finally floated out, I was infinitely happy.

I should also say that the soldier who was with me was alive longer, but died so quickly that he shot like a laser beam from the Earth into space. I think he went directly to heaven.

When I came out of the dark dome, I began to move slowly through space. It was beautifully wonderful, incomprehensible, and somewhat frightening. I realized that I was, in some way, on a path, but I had no influence on the direction of movement.

Then I began to move faster and faster. The stars began to move as I gained speed. The speed became so strong that the stars, after becoming fast streaks, merged into one light that grew stronger and stronger.

I somehow bent over because I thought those forces would tear me apart. It is a miracle they did not because I felt as if I were dying again. At one moment, the edge of the visible universe came, and I realized I was entering a black space. The speed decreased, and when the visible universe remained behind the horizon, I stopped.

I found myself in a black, swampy forest full of threat and fear. Then I heard the growling of a beast and saw more and more eyes glowing in the dark. I saw a path in the faint light and knew I had to move along it. The path was disappearing behind me, and if I stopped, I would be lost.

I reached the end. Everything was black except for old wooden doors about 50 meters high and 12 meters wide. There were two metal rings on which I knocked tremblingly.

At one moment, from my lower right side, something like a goblin or demon jumped out. I did not see it well because it was too fast. It hit me so hard that, in a way, it killed me while saying, "Come on, do not mess with me."

In a fraction of time, I struck with my spirit so hard that it was like a house collapsing. All the dust rose. I emphasize that I had no weight.

My spirit entered my body. I began to move and feel around. I felt the hole in my helmet. When I realized I had all my limbs, I began to get up. Then I had a feeling as if Niagara was going through my head.

Crawling, I felt around in the dark until I found my rifle and began to stand up with difficulty. I tripped over a dead soldier. I had to keep going because I did not know how much blood I had lost.

They were still shooting at me with rifles while I stumbled, but somehow I managed to reach a position about 70 meters away, and a guard almost killed me. Then came the emergency evacuation through mortar fire. I spent a day in a coma, followed by 20 days in a hospital in Osijek under grenade fire.

I have a feeling that God gave me a second chance, like a second birthday. However, He also gave me a demon that is inside me and grows stronger if I start behaving inhumanely, and vice versa.

In a way, I no longer have faith in the classical sense. Rather, I have proof that everything is connected, and whatever you do, you will go somewhere. Nature or God does not throw anything away.

As happy as I was about the second chance, on the other hand, I feel like I am watching a good movie again. What the conclusion is, I do not know. Maybe we should compare all the experiences of other people, and then maybe we will understand something.

This was too good not to share with others. Maybe we will better understand who we are, where our place is, how to behave, and simply what to do next and what the goal is.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 11/25/1991

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
yes, I was on the front line while they were shooting at us with various weapons.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? all the way from the injury, the journey, and the return.
all senses are heightened and consciousness is limitless, no limitations of space nor time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I realized that I was as dead, indescribably alive, compatible and connected; time, space are not important; even a stone is alive, but I realized there is a hierarchy; somehow you immediately feel, see, sense and wonder.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience everything is stronger, including sight, but that is not important because my thoughts were what see, feel, and seek meaning.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience same as sight, thoughts give you strength, ability for everything you need.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
only the soldier who was with me; he went to heaven in a fast lane of light immediately.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain
I described how I traveled through space but I was not in heaven.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
first when I separated from my body, then while I was lying on that black lake, then while I was flying through space, then when I entered what I'll call dark matter, at the end of the doorway of heaven or hell, I don't know further because the demon hit me with a fist and killed me, transformed me to earth into my body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? horror, joy, curiosity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I felt that I was a grain of sand in the universe but that I was part of the universe and I was happy about that belonging.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
I saw everything simultaneously; I didn't think, I immediately saw everything at once.

Did scenes from the future come? I saw everything, both past and future simultaneously.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
my body, my spirit, universe; everything is connected but there are other dimensions and you must die in some way to discover new ones, as if you transform. It's a miracle that I came back, that's like resurrection; I think that people who are brought back have their purpose.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I already said that the demon sent me back when I reached the large wooden doors.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic
I am not sure what I came to because there were huge wooden doors on a narrow path that I knocked on.

Have your religious practices changed? Uncertain
before, you had to believe in god, but now I do believe because I know that god exists, and much more.

What is your religion now? Christian - Catholic
I have nothing to add on that topic except to describe the journey itself.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I don't understand the question, but nothing is as I thought.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
everything is already seen to me so life is a bit boring; I can't change anything because people are programmed with their thoughts.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
a beast through a black forest and a demon or goblin who pushed me back to earth; I had the feeling that he received a command from god and was not happy about it.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
something was in the shadows but in a way I didn't have access to it; that is something that is not touched.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
everything is connected but even in death not all secrets are revealed to you because death is only one of many levels.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
read everything I wrote; I can only say that connection and purpose are the only constants.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain
maybe I did, but I didn't grasp it except for one thing: that the soul does not die and the game always continues.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
all the time I was guided and conscious in all passages; you feel there because you are connected but you don't know with whom, like when someone hacks you on the net and you don't know who but you see that they are active.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain
I didn't grasp it but I think that love and how we live life determine further where we will be directed; as if in some way in all dimensions there is work both in darkness and in light; the soul is sought-after goods, so to speak; that's the feeling I got.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life
As I said before, life is no longer interesting to me; I think we are too limited in everything, we do stupid things and things are very simple, people are like grass, things repeat. People look at me a bit strangely, they think I'm a swindler, a fake invalid, a bit crazy and the like. It's not that important if someone is evil, but I appreciate good and quality people because they somehow hold the world together. Best regards!

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
I described everything before but even today some deeper meaning flashes; everything is clear and nothing is clear.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
don't understand the question.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
who can know that; do you know yourself; only in specific situations you see who you are; I don't feel that I have become something special; on the contrary, an ordinary person.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? everything is significant for those who would read it and use it when they die; while alive it's all blah blah.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
everyone acts like they know everything; even they explain to me how it was; ha ha, people are interesting.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
you are surprised, confused, you think about it, you look for meaning, but life goes on with its problems; a person has no time for themselves on earth, just runs around for nothing.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
it's not important; when I repeat all that, I already feel like I'm going to a familiar place.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
don't understand the question.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I described the events as they happened.

Anything else to add? no, it would be interesting to see what other people's experiences are mostly like; maybe then I would understand something else.