Zachary G Probable NDE

Experience Description

It was a difficult period in my life and I was using drugs regularly. I lived with my family, but no one was there at that moment. That meant that I was home alone. I usually took amphetamines in the afternoon. Since the comedown is very unpleasant, I typically took benzodiazepines to sleep; or occasionally drink a poppy tea in conjunction if I wanted to feel really good.

This time the dose of amphetamines had been very high. I hadn't gotten to sleep and it was 4 a.m. I was still very tense. I could feel the comedown starting. I began drinking beer and taking multiple drugs. At first, it was the usual doses. Then I continued taking them because the comedown persisted and wouldn't go away. I usually wrote down the doses of what I took, precisely to avoid overdosing. But, this time I didn't write anything down. The comedown simply wouldn't stop, so I kept taking the pills like candy. I drank a medium-to-high dose for me of poppy tea, thinking the amphetamine would still be active for a few more hours.

After about half an hour, I began to feel the effects of the poppy tea strongly. This wasn't unusual, but it surprised me because the effects came on very intensely from the moment I felt them. It was very pleasant, and I finally relaxed while listening to music.

After about about 1.5 hours, I felt very sedated. The effects of the opioids were stronger than I was used to. Worried, I began timing my spontaneous breaths. They were about 3 breaths per minute. It wasn't terrible for me; it's a strong effect but still manageable. So, I calmed down.

After a while, I realized I may have taken too many pills. The drowsiness kept increasing. Although it was very pleasant, I realized I was in danger. I counted my breaths again. 2 breaths per minute. After a while, 1 breath per minute. Soon after, the breathing reflex became very weak and then almost non-existent. So I began breathing by focusing on breathing by counting the seconds to continue to remind myself. I wasn't panicking, but I knew I was in great danger. I tried to breathe, but I kept dozing off. I knew that if I closed my eyes, I would die.

After a while, I couldn't resist anymore. I let go, closing my eyes. Behind my eyelids, as if they were a cinema screen with images projected onto them, I began to see shapes. It wasn't a dream and didn't seem like one of the usual psychedelic hallucinations. The images were grainy but clear.

In a repeating loop and overhead perspective, I saw an unrecognizable woman spinning around with her skirt twirling with her. Then I saw two hands holding each other. The hands were in the foreground and very close up, so I couldn't see the people. A beautiful sunset was in the background, with the sun halfway below the horizon. Then I saw so many roses and other flowers. The loop stopped on the roses.

At that moment, I felt myself sliding into a warm flow. As if I had passed through the roses, a panorama opened before me. I saw extremely clear, like a film, or rather, as if I were there. I saw a kind of endless meadow with low, gentle hills. It reminded me of a postcard of Tuscany. There was the sunset exactly as I had seen it before, but this time it was very sharply in focus. It seemed like spring, which is my favorite season. Everything was in bloom, and the grass was green. The temperature was perfect.

In the distance, with the sunset behind them, I saw trees like flowering cherry trees on each hill. Under these trees were groups of unidentifiable "people," as if I were seeing them from afar as they were backlit against the sunset. They were far away and didn't notice me.

I had the intuition, but it was as if I had always known it. Those those people were groups of people (or spirits of people, souls) who cared for each other or had a bond with each other in their lives. Under each tree was a family, or lovers, or friends. Everyone was free to visit the groups of others, make friends, and create new bonds. I knew that if I went there, I would find all the people who had loved me, whom I had loved, and also people we would love in the future, if I ever met them.

A warm breeze blew from behind toward the sunset, as if pushing me to go. I knew I could choose. If I went, I would stay there forever. But I could go back. It was a decision I had to make autonomously; no one was telling me what to do.

I thought about my family, who would find me dead in bed upon returning home. I couldn't stay, not this time. I knew, however, that I would return there at the end of everything. I knew that I was there before the beginning of everything. It was the most beautiful, natural, and familiar place that existed. I knew that I would cause suffering to many people who would be saddened by my death. I chose to go back, not saying it but forming the intention in my head.

At that moment, the physical sensations I felt before returned; extreme drowsiness and heaviness. I felt I was back on the bed. With difficulty, I opened my eyes. I forced myself to breathe, with great effort. I began to feel sick and knew I could return to that place if I just let go, but by then I understood I wasn't supposed to die.

At sunrise, I got out of bed with great difficulty and vomited several times. Then, unexpectedly, a friend asked to meet me to accompany him to the station. I thought it would be a good idea to help me wake up. I felt terrible; the sun was blinding and the heat unbearable. My friend said, "Are you okay? You look awful." I replied that I had slept badly. By that point, however, almost everything had passed, and I was no longer in danger.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 8/5/2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Overdose of amphetamines, opiates, alcohol, and benzodiazepines with respiratory suppression and unconsciousness.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? While I was in that place with the sunset, the roses, and the hills.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It seemed to last a few minutes if I think rationally, but in that moment time did not exist.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Initially, it was like a grainy film with few colors, then at the moment of peak awareness, it was exactly as if I were there, just as I see every day.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I didn't hear any sounds except for the wind through the plants.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
It wasn't a tunnel, but before finding myself in the meadow with the hills, it was as if I had to pass through some rose bushes (without getting pricked).

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
They were timeless souls. Souls of deceased people, but also souls of people yet to be born.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain
There was a beautiful sunset, but I don't know if it can be classified as unearthly.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
It was like a normal landscape, but it was perfect in every detail, exactly as I would have wanted it to be. It was also populated by 'souls' as I described before.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Tranquility, love, and peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I was able to decide autonomously, and I returned so as not to make those who love me suffer.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Atheist

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Inconsistent: I never believed in souls, universal love, or the afterlife. Consistent: there is no god, only us.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
Perhaps after death there is something and it's not bad.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I knew I had already seen that place; it was very familiar and I had the impression of having been there many times in past lives.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Yes, it exists. We are all together, both before the beginning and after the end.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
It is an eternal place where the souls of people meet before birth and after death, and we will all return there at the end of everything.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Potentially, we could all love one another. Outside of our earthly life, we are all peaceful and can care for one another.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life
It gives me peace to think that when we die, we will see that. Before, I thought there would certainly be nothing. Now I hope for it.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
I lost a friend. But then we became friends again.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember almost nothing from those years because I was constantly using drugs. I know the date only from a photo; otherwise, I wouldn't even know the year. I remember this experience as if it were yesterday.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I had never experienced such profound tranquility and acceptance. Furthermore, the realization that we could all love each other (and we have loved and will love) was incredibly beautiful and moves me deeply.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
A few hours. A friend of mine was very angry and we didn't have contact for years.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
Yes, I was interested and had seen documentaries when I was little. No, my knowledge did not influence my experience because it was different from out-of-body experiences, and I did not see God or interact with anyone.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real
I think it's the brain sending final signals to reassure itself before shutting down. However, I believe it's something that will repeat at the moment of death because the brain is always the same.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably not real
I think exactly the same as I did shortly after the experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
They are very detailed and scientific.

Anything else to add? If death is like this, then there is no reason to be afraid of dying.