Ursula K NDE

Experience Description

I was six years old. At the time, I was left at home with my younger sister while my mother and another sibling went out. I remember feeling unwell because I was suffering from a cold or flu. In my young mind, I was determined to make myself better. I had always been highly competitive with my older siblings and wanted desperately to prove that I could be just as capable, responsible, and resourceful as they were.

Believing that medication would hasten my recovery, I went into the kitchen, opened the medicine cabinet, and began pulling out boxes of tablets and pills. I started ingesting them, one after another, thinking, "Just one more, just one more." I truly believed that the more I took, the quicker I would be well again. Many of the tablets had a sweet, powdery taste, almost like candy, which made it easier to keep trying different ones.

Unbeknownst to me, some of these medications were dangerously inappropriate for a child, such as my mother’s heart medication for arrhythmia and my father’s antidepressants. Once I had finished, I calmly returned to the living room. I recall looking at my little sister and saying, almost dreamlike, "Aunt, dear sisters, I’m going on a trip. Please cook lunch for me. We’ll eat when I return." Those were the last words I remember uttering before I lost consciousness.

What followed was something I’ve carried with me my entire life. I found myself floating above my body in what I now understand was the operating room. From a corner of the room, I could see myself lying motionless on the table while doctors worked desperately to revive me. They were applying electric shocks to my chest, but the heart monitor remained flat. I was clinically unresponsive.

While I hovered in that space, I experienced a profound sense of peace, joy, and unconditional love. It was beautiful, and I didn’t want to return. I felt completely at ease; free, whole, and deeply connected to something greater. Looking down at my small, lifeless body, I felt an overwhelming compassion. It was if I was observing the fate of a dear child that I no longer identified with. I also felt immense empathy for the medical staff working so hard to save me.

Then, I became aware of my mother. I saw her weeping in the hospital corridor from being consumed with guilt and anguish. I felt the depth of her pain and sensed the crushing burden of self-blame she would carry if I were to die. It was at that moment, I made the decision to return. I could not bear the thought of her living the rest of her life believing she had caused my death.

The next thing I remember is waking up. I was confused, disoriented, and tied to a hospital bed. The restraints were likely put in place for my safety. I had no idea where I was or what had happened.

Ever since that day, I have carried with me an unrelenting questions, "Why did I come back? What is my purpose on this planet?" Life has not been easy, and I have often wondered what God or the universe intended for me by sending me back. But one thing has always been clear; that experience changed me. It gave me a deep sense that my life is not arbitrary, and that perhaps I am here to do something meaningful that touches the lives of others.

Sadly, I often feel as though my life has been unremarkable. I haven’t achieved anything that the world would consider extraordinary such as a dazzling career, widespread influence, or a visible legacy to inspire the masses. There are no awards, no accolades, no public triumphs to speak of. I experienced a loveless marriage with no children. I feel I am just living my life for my mother and my younger sister.

But what I have done is to support my mother throughout her entire life. I’ve been there for her emotionally, logistically, and financially. I was always the one she could rely on, even though I was not her favorite child. I supported her quietly, faithfully, and consistently. Yet still, it was I who stood by her; through illness, hardship, losses, divorce, and the long, painful process of placing her into care when her health deteriorated.

When she became seriously ill, I left work and spent an entire year by her side to care for her. Towards the end, I arranged everything which included ultimately her move into a care home. It was one of the most painful chapters of my life. Out of four children, I was the only one who stayed and showed up to visit her. And although she may not have given me the most affection, she gave me her trust. I hold her notarial power of attorney. I am the one she turns to.

And yet, there are days I wonder, "Is this my life’s purpose? Was this the reason I came back? To be her guardian, her anchor, her daughter until the end? And if so, when she leaves this world, will my mission here be complete? Will I be free to return to that place of overwhelming peace, joy, and love that I once glimpsed as a child? I can't wait.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 1990

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
Everything that was happening in the operating room and in the corridor

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? looking at myself from the ceiling, I Felt wise, smart, intelligent, well informed, decisive at peace, loving, almost feeling like I analyzed and used critical thinking in my internal dialogue at superfast speed, although I had no recollection in sense of time, but I understood and so everything happening around me with intense clarity.
I was six years old, so my alertness and consciousness level was literally meter away from the floor. I lived in my little world of dolls and playing house. I felt like I was smart for being six years old, but clearly my thinking was very flawed and very human my reasoning, decision, taking analysis of information available to me at that time in my real life where are misinterpreted, but feeding for the human thinking level and capabilities of six years old child. However, during my experience of out of body experience, I could see everything happening at the same time I could hear my internal dialogue. I felt like I take decision from the stand point of peace and love and empathy and joy. But from a place of wise experienced calm content person.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I have no recollection of time. I don't know if that event took three minutes or three hours time didn't matter it disappeared.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I can't compare my vision other than of the day of the incident. I saw everything at the level of child six years old child and from that perspective, and during out of my body experience, I saw everything from the top down through the walls I could see the monitor who was behind me or next to me facing the doctors not me I could see my mother behind the wall. I could see the doctors me up in the ceiling.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience When I was at home, I heard everything like a normal human being. Here's everything clearly during my experience however, I had a little bit of more distance hearing like I'm detached from that scene with my sense of hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt ever present, love, joy and peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
Everything it's a big word. However, I understood that love is the answer to everything.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
At 6 I didnt have any religious attachment but I've been raised in practicing catholic family.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
not immediately but at the age of 14 I received a new age self help book and immediately I resonated with the content of that book, then I got another one and immediately I knew that church is a scam but energy, universe, spirits, different dimensions are real, and once more it brought a lot of peace to my life and I took a lot of good decisions being faithful to those teachings.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
not really practicing anymore but still Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Prior to my out of body experience I don't remember being very close to my mother. After that experience she became my world, so I cannot really say that I had beliefs before about anything related to God, a universe on my purpose in this world because it was only six years old, but the distinction between caring from my mom and not is very clear to me.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
I was too young to remember how I was before the accident so can't relate

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
I have not encounter any specific information regarding life's meaning or purpose, but I was clear on my mission or purpose in this life. But that was my own private mission to help my mom.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
I have not received any specific information however I had this feeling that I was going somewhere else. In other words while I was looking at my lifeless body from the top of the room I felt at peace. I felt empathy, love and I felt like it's enough. It's time to move on. It's time to pass over go somewhere else and I was excited about it. I wanted to,I felt that seconds before I noticed my mother and that's when everything changed and I've decided to come back. That makes me feel like that place I wanted to go to was a happy place, a place I was looking forward to go. And that room that out of body situation were not my destiny. Doing experience

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Love is the answer to everything

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
not with people just my mother

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
I was 6 I couldnt articulate but In my mind it was Cristal clear and without a doubt it has taken place

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I don't remember any event my birthday no Christmas nothing that has happened that year or years before or years after. But that memory never left me. I have memories of accident that I have experience at the age of two I lost my fingers at the age of six I overdose pills at the age of seven not run by a car, but I did not experience out of body experience at the age of 14. I draw almost drowned at the lake and did not have out of the experience at the age of 17 I was run by a car and I did not have out of body experience however, all this events I remember clearly but everything in between I don't so moments that were nice but in general not much couldn't remember at which year those events took place.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I find comfort in knowing that I will be at peace and love when I die. Everything is going to be okay once I die, makes the hardship of this life easier to swallow, but the sadness of being alive deeper, and longing to return stronger.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
25 years

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I felt like I am crazy, I didnt have anyone to talk to about this, I didnt trust anyone In my family to ask about what happened to me, but I was thinning about it a lot, for years. asking myself if I am mentally ill, or what has happened to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
The first time I heard about the books Life After Life and Life After Death, I rushed to read them. I was astonished to discover that so many people had gone through experiences similar to mine. It was a profound moment of validation—I wasn’t imagining things, and I certainly wasn’t losing my mind. The accounts I read mirrored my own in striking ways, especially the key elements. This brought me a deep sense of reassurance and peace, confirming that what I had experienced was real. One question has always stayed with me: why do some people go through such experiences only once, while others encounter them multiple times? I don’t have the answer, but I have never doubted the truth of what I lived through. And throughout my life, one constant has remained: caring for my mother. That has been the thread woven through everything.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes