Tzippy S NDE-like

Experience Description

This happened when I was in about third grade. It occurred on a typical night, at least as far as I can recall, and it even started like a typical nightmare. In my dream, it was the middle of the night and I was going downstairs to get water. I had just gotten down the stairs to the first floor and was next to our dining room table when an intruder came and attacked me. I remember that there was distress, pain, and some kind of struggle, but the details of the first part of the dream have gotten fuzzier over time.

What followed, however, remains seared into my memory, about thirty years later, as if it happened just yesterday. At some point during the attack things suddenly shifted and I felt a tremendous sense of deep peace that is impossible to describe. Our living and dining room was large and had a sloped ceiling that went up to the second floor. There was a hallway on the second floor with a railing and an open view of the living and dining room. I suddenly noticed that I was hovering at the very top of the sloped ceiling on the second floor and I was looking down at my body next to the dining room table. I could clearly see my limp, dead body, and I remember realizing that I had died and now I was the consciousness up by the ceiling and my body was down below. I noticed this without any distress, worry, or fear whatsoever. I felt completely free. It felt right; I felt this incredibly deep sense of peace, joy, and of being 'home'.

To my right I could see and sense a really intense bright light that was radiating love and was pulling me toward it. I felt drawn toward the light and I also wanted to move closer to it. I somehow knew that was my destination.

Then I watched as my family, who had heard what was going on, exited their rooms and found my dead body on the floor. They were heartbroken and very upset as they desperately tried to bring me back. Then I heard the great white light telling me that it wasn't my time yet, that my family still needed me and I had to go back. I'm not sure exactly how the white light spoke to me; it wasn't quite like sound the way we experience it. It was some kind of radiating conscious message that I knew was coming from the light or a being encompassed by the light. I knew from where I was that it wasn't at all sad to die, that I was in the most incredible place, but that I needed to go back for my family. I felt the white light gently pushing me away, and then I woke up.

The first thing I felt when I woke up was actually a really deep sense of calm. I felt this deep sense that I now knew what it was like to die and that it wasn't scary. That feeling of calm and my newfound comfort with dying has stayed with me ever since. I'm not sure why I never questioned it; it always just felt true to me. My dream was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. I had no knowledge of near death experiences at that time. I'd never even heard the term.

I didn't tell anyone about my dream for years. Partially because the experience felt so weird; could you really 'die' in a dream? When I first read about near death experiences I was shocked to see how similar my story was to the stories of many others who did actually 'die'. I'm still not sure what to make of my experience. Is a true near death experience possible without any indication that I was actually 'near death' or 'dying'? At the same time, the impact of that experience sits deep inside me and feels just as real to me today, about thirty years later.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 00/00/1996

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
Kind of yes and kind of no, because the 'earthly' events were 'earthly'-like events that were happening in my dream. Verifying them doesn't really apply.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When hovering by the ceiling and sensing the bright light to my right.
I seemed aware of everything and able to connect with everything at a speed and depth that is entirely different from the physical realm.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I think time just lost meaning. Things from the future and past were kind of processed at once.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My vision during the experience was incredibly vivid. The view I had of my body was as clear as day, but I'm not sure if it was actually any clearer than real life.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Hearing seemed to operate on a different plane. I heard my family talking, but it felt far away, as if from a different universe. The messages I 'heard' from the bright light felt true on a deep level, but I don't think I heard them in the typical sense.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
I don't quite have the words to describe it. The light was radiant and brilliant in an impossible way. It didn't just radiate light; it radiated warmth, love, and consciousness itself.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I clearly realized that I, in the deepest sense, was some kind of mystical being that could transcend all physical reality. I was aware that the bright light ran 'through' my brother's bedroom and that I could pass right through the walls to the bright light too. I was aware of the physical world but hovering above it, near the entrance to an entirely different realm.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? The deepest peace I could ever feel or imagine. I felt at home, safe, content. Everything just felt right.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I don't know if I'd call it a barrier, but I wanted and felt drawn to move closer to the bright light and was told that I needed to go back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish
Orthodox Judaism

Have your religious practices changed? Uncertain
It's hard to know what they'd be otherwise, but I doubt I'd feel as certain as I do now about the existence of God and that consciousness transcends the physical body. I have a lot of skepticism and doubts about other areas of my religious belief, so I'd have expected this area to be the same without this experience.

What is your religion now? Jewish

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I wouldn't say anything was inconsistent or contradictory to my previous beliefs, but the experience was entirely novel and not anything I had been taught to believe. Also, if this experience was entirely a projection of my earlier beliefs, I would have expected a scarier version of death. I would have expected some kind of heavenly tribunal weighing my deeds and determining my place in the next life. Instead, my experience was 100% peaceful and amazing, and there was no weighing of my actions, etc. In fact, when I woke up, I was surprised by how calm I felt and by how peaceful it felt to die.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
I do feel I have more certainty about the existence of God and the possibility of a wonderful afterlife because of it, but it's hard to know entirely what my beliefs would have looked like without it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
There was definitely some kind of being defined or encompassed in the bright light, and there were mystical type messages being conveyed.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
That's the intuitive sense I felt regarding the bright light and my relationship to it.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
The bright light felt like it encompassed some kind of 'being' or greater consciousness, perhaps how I've come to understand 'god'. It felt like in our most natural sense, we'd all be connected to that being without any barriers, but I was being pushed toward further separation (going back to earth) for a purpose.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain
It does feel unique to feel like I deeply know what it's like to die. At the time, I felt sure of my purpose to be there for my family.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Yes, I absolutely felt and realized that my consciousness transcending my body was what it meant to die. I was still there, but I was free from my body, which felt 'right'. I do sometimes wonder if there really is an afterlife like heaven or hell, meaning I wonder what exactly happens when you reach the white light. Would one then 'disappear'? Would one then be punished miserably for big mistakes? But I absolutely feel like I know what happens immediately after death.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
It's hard to categorize how I felt before because I was a child. I know there was at least a decent amount of fear of death because I remember how surprised I was that it wasn't scary. I assume my religious beliefs were more or less in line with whatever I was taught – that there was a God, an afterlife, etc.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I'm still not quite sure how to best describe it. Words don't quite do it justice. It never feels like I've really conveyed it properly.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
My memory in general of my childhood is choppy with lots of holes. This experience stands out as one that I have an incredibly vivid and consistent memory of, even many, many years later.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I was told my family needed me became pretty significant during my adolescence. There was a decent amount of trauma in the family, and in many ways I did become a caretaker or nurturer for people in my family (not necessarily in a healthy way though). Still, it felt really significant to be told I was needed and had a purpose in my family. Today, it simply feels significant that it was so peaceful and joyful to die. I heard a lot of scary religious messaging since then that has made me doubt if after the peaceful and joyful death, things get bad (like in 'The Good Place'), but I have never wavered in my certainty that the process of dying is peaceful and wonderful.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Years. The first time I told someone was in high school. They told me they heard once that if you dream that you died, it means you'll live a long life. I don't remember anything else about their reaction. Since then there have been different reactions from different people depending on who I've told. People sometimes sound incredulous, sometimes amazed.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
From the moment I woke up from the dream, I felt that I now knew what it was like to die. Any periodic doubts I've had about the experience have only been because of the skepticism of others. I always come back to feeling that I know it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Like I said above, I have had times when I wondered if the experience was made up or just a dream, but it always feels like wondering if something real could possibly be an illusion. In other words, it feels very real even if logically I sometimes try to challenge it (mainly due to the skepticism of others). I acknowledge that it's possible for it to feel absolutely real to me and yet be an illusion. I can't prove otherwise.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain
I'm not sure if I could ever get it all down properly, but I hope I've been able to give a good picture and I hope that it's helpful for research. I'd love to know more about how research understands or interprets NDE-consistent experiences without any apparent real threat to life.