Tanya C Anesthesia

Experience Description

A few years ago, I underwent a routine, low-risk surgery to remove my gallbladder. Because the procedure was common, I was not anxious about dying, nor had I been thinking about any deceased relatives. I have had multiple surgeries since this event, and all of them have been completely dark, nothingness until I woke up. But this specific surgery was entirely different.

While under general anesthesia, my consciousness safely disconnected from my physical frame. I found myself in a place I now call "the in-between." I was younger, and I was in a beautiful field playing soccer with my deceased cousin. Throughout the entire experience, I was intensely aware of a strict line or boundary on the ground. I knew with absolute certainty that I could not cross it, and he could not cross it. There was a brilliant, bright light in the sky, though I knew it was not the sun. It felt entirely knowledgeable, peaceful, and real.

Suddenly, the peaceful field vanished. I felt myself violently slammed back into my physical body. The sudden influx of physical gravity and post-surgical pain was deeply uncomfortable. I desperately wanted to go back to that feeling of weightless freedom, so my consciousness went back out. I was pushed back in again. My consciousness went back and forth between my body and the in-between, moving faster and faster until the transition felt like a high-frequency vibration. Finally, I woke up fully in my body. The recovery room nurse later told me that as I was coming to, I kept repeating out loud, "I want to go back."

My mother was in the room when I woke up, and I immediately told her about the dream. A week later, we met for lunch. She told me that she had contacted her sister (my cousin’s mother) to ask a question. My aunt revealed that when my cousin was a little boy, he absolutely loved soccer and always had to have a soccer ball with him.

Hearing this left me stunned. I have never played soccer, I never think about it, and it was not a detail I consciously knew about his childhood. Yet, during the experience, I never questioned why we were playing it. My mother homes in on that detail immediately, providing absolute, verifiable validation that this event was real.

This experience was a profound, special gift. It has completely removed my fear of death, giving me absolute certainty that our consciousness survives, that death is not the end, and that we will see our loved ones again. While returning to a heavy, painful physical body was difficult, this memory now serves as my daily source of spiritual strength.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 06/17/2020

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I was in the in between and when I was fighting to stay out of my body

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I was completely unaware of time. Didn't think about it or acknowledge time at all.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience This is hard to explain, but my vision as in seeing with my eyes was normal. When I first 'came to' in the in between for a split second I was looking down at myself playing soccer then switched to a first person view as in I was looking out at things as me and not looking at me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I can't remember any sound. It was more thought driven and visual.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
My deceased cousin. I saw him. We didn't talk. I just saw him and was wanting to kick the soccer ball to him. It was all very normal, like I had done this before.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Above the field there was a light. It was round like the sun but I knew it wasn't the sun. It was a white, blueish light and its light sparkled down on me and gave everything a beautiful radiant glow. All the other sky in the in between was pitch black. Everything around the in between was pitch black.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I call it the in between. In between earth and heaven. It was a beautiful field. Long grass, little yellow flowers, even a fence.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Free, happy, warm, young, being normal, loved

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
I was acutely aware of an invisible line. A boundary that I shouldn't cross on my end nor him cross it on his end. This was front and center of my thoughts while kicking the ball. There was also a fence, but it wasn't the boundary line.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths - New age
I was raised in a Christian church. I went to Sunday school and vocational school in the summers. I now do not attend church and consider myself spiritual. I don't like organized religion at all.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
I consider myself a spiritual person. I do believe in God, but I don't believe we are capable of even in the slightest understanding God and just what or who he is. My relationship with my creator comes from the inside of me, not from another person as in a pastor.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I always believed we see our loved ones after we die.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I was aware that we go on after death and I know how painful it is to have a body.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I saw my dead cousin alive. He was there. Because of the boundary I couldn't touch him but now I know that he is there watching over me and I will see him when I die, with no boundary. The 'sun' I believe is the light other people who have experiences describe as the light and tunnel. I know I was in between heaven and earth.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Love transcends death. The people we love on earth, we love them and they love us even if death separates us.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember it as clear as day.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The validation of soccer and the soccer ball

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I told my mom as soon as I was taken into the room she was in after my surgery.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
I had watched some things and read some things about it. I wanted it to help me not fear dying so much.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
It was reality. I saw and felt all of it, plus, the soccer validation totally gave me 100% validation it was completely real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I questioned it a lot. I always knew it was real. It wasn't drugs or a dream.  In the weeks following, I did question it and think about it real hard. But  now, I don't question it. It is what it is and it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
Before the event I did have some other experiences with the same deceased cousin. I will go into those if ever asked but it is a lot to type right now.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Yes. The story I wrote says it all.

Anything else to add? I have a hard time labeling what it is called. It's not really a NDE because at no point during surgery did I come close to dying. It's also not just an OBE nor astral projection. I'm not sure what to call it.