Susan Mc NDE

Experience Description

I was with my friend and my sister playing by a stream. There was a very large pipe jutting out over it, and a boy was sitting on it. I wanted to be where he was, but as I tried to position myself, I fell into the water, which was quite deep. I remember seeing the continuation of the brickwork of the bridge a little way downstream from where I fell in. I also remember kicking my right leg to try and reach the bank. I don't recall any fear.

Suddenly, I was filled with a blissful feeling. It was like melting into peace and was absolutely wonderful; words don't do it justice. Then I found myself in a garden, which surprised me as I thought I would be on the bottom of the stream. There were flowers everywhere and a fence with a gate, which had an arch covered with flowers over it. I took a few steps through the gate because I wanted to see what was beyond it, but a woman in white with long dark hair appeared. She told me I wasn't allowed to go any further, and that if I did, I wouldn't be able to come back. I didn't want to come back, but then I found myself on the grass by the stream with water coming out of my mouth. I don't remember anything after that, but I have never forgotten this experience.

My sister, who was two years older than me, was sent to our house to get me some dry clothes. I don't know what she told my parents or whether she knew I had nearly drowned, but my parents were not aware of what happened. Some days later, my mother was out shopping with me and my sister when the woman who saved me recognized us from church. She asked how I was and told my mother that she thought I was a 'goner'. My mother was mortified. I was not a happy child and have very few memories of my childhood, but this one remains vivid.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 6/5/1950

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was drowning

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? During the feeling of bliss.
I had never felt anything like that feeling before. It was beautiful.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I can only describe it as full of light. My everyday vision was dull by comparison.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I don't recall being aware of my hearing. When I was told I couldn't continue through the gate, it was a 'knowing' rather than a sound of words.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
I found myself in a beautiful garden unlike any garden I knew on earth.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Utter bliss

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
There was a fence with a gate through which I could see a path and lots more flowers. I started to go through the gate but was not allowed to continue

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I wanted to continue down the path beyond the gate but was made to come back. I was aware that should I continue, I would not be able to return, but I was not given a choice.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic
We were made to go to the Catholic church throughout our childhood. I never liked it.

Have your religious practices changed? Uncertain
At age four, my spiritual beliefs were not my choice. I was brought up as a Catholic. I can't say for sure what they would have been had I not had the experience, but I did leave the church and rejected organised religion. I have been a seeker of spiritual matters ever since

What is your religion now? Other faiths - New age
I left the Catholic church as soon as I was free of my parents' influence. I don't have an affiliation to any religion, but I have always felt a pull towards spirituality, which, despite my experience, I have struggled with on occasion. I think my problem was that I felt my parents didn't want me, and then, as I was not allowed to stay in the beautiful garden, I was not wanted there either. Maybe at four years old, that was the sense I made of it. Nevertheless, I am always pulled back to seeking and did have a cosmic consciousness experience when I was a teenager, which was equally blissful; I was part of everything, had no body, and felt I was as vast as the universe.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I don't recall having any particular beliefs at the time, but I certainly had not experienced anything like it before.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
I don't know what my beliefs were prior to the experience

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The woman who informed me I wasn't allowed to go further appeared to be sort of angelic. She was very tall, dressed in white flowing clothes, and was very kind but firm

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I wasn't aware that such places as the garden existed

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
Even though I was drowning, I had no awareness of that when in the garden. The blissful feeling was expansive, and I was not aware of my body. Being told I couldn't stay there indicates an existence after death. I have to say, at age four, I had not contemplated such issues. It's only later that I have come to these conclusions

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I am not aware of how I was prior to my experience. I don't know if I told anyone about it. However, I was apparently extremely caring about others less well off than me and would want to rescue people and animals from their fate. I was also hugely concerned about conflicts in the world and thought I could persuade the protagonists to be more loving and get them to stop hostilities. My Dad always called me weird.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
I don't know how my relationships would have been had I not had the experience

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I use the word 'bliss' but it was profound and very hard to articulate

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I have very few memories of my childhood. The only other memory I have from age four was having my tonsils out in hospital. The drowning experience is much clearer than that one.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Again, I'm not sure if I had any gifts prior to my experience, but I have had some mediumship events. Plus, when I was a teenager, I was out with my friends when I had a very strong feeling that I had to leave, which I did. Later, I found out that a girl had been raped in the area that I left. I have also had some precognitive dreams

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The experience of bliss and freedom from all cares

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I'm not sure if I told my parents about my experience. But I only shared this experience with others when I learned about NDEs from Raymond Moody's book, Life After Life. I was fortunate to have spiritually minded friends who believed me. I think my telling of my experience comforted them

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I don't remember anything shortly after my experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I regard it as real because it felt more real than anything else. Also, I did not know anything about NDEs prior to it happening. I felt it with my whole being, and I remember it clearly. As far as I'm concerned, it really happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
My experience of 'cosmic consciousness' came out of the blue when I was walking in nature

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
As I've never forgotten it, it was easy to respond to your questions. It's as real today as it was then

Anything else to add? No, I think you've covered it well