Sol Other

Experience Description

When I began inhaling water, my lungs burned terribly. I could feel them straining against a much denser material than they were accustomed to.

It was a strange mixture of sensations. The cold was refreshing, but the pain burned like the sun inside my chest.

Eventually, I began to give in a little. My small seven year old body was quickly reaching its limit. I continued to splash, but I remained submerged beneath the water for longer and longer periods.

As soon as I began to give in, the strangest part happened.

It was as though I split in two, but not exactly. The best comparison I can make is to telophase, when two identical cells slowly begin separating during mitosis but are not yet fully severed. There was not really a direction, but if I had to describe it spatially, one kind of me was above and to the left, while another kind of me was below and to the right. They were not parts of me exactly, but different kinds of me.

The one in the upper left was the one experiencing pain. It was the body.

It was panicking.

“We gotta get out! We gotta live! Keep going! You gotta swim! Keep going, go, go, go!”

I realized that this part was not really suffering from the drowning itself as much as it was suffering from panic. There was the pounding heart, the dread, and the fear in the brain.

I realized that all the pain of my dying was, in a way, self inflicted.

This body was not truly separate from me. It was still me, but it was not exactly the me with which I resonated.

The one on the lower right was different. Strangely, I resonated with this one.

This kind of me was very calm and at peace.

I felt like whipped cream.

I have had a few rare dreams with this same feeling. In those moments, I was fully myself. I was calm, honest, and filled with clarity. I know I have used the word clarity many times, but it is the best word I have to make sense of the feeling. I miss being like that, and I strive to feel that way as much as I can.

This part of me was hyperaware of the water and how cool it felt. I noticed how the sunlight created flickers of warmth from above and how the image of the sun shifted with the movement of the water.

I was enjoying it.

I resonated more strongly with this version of myself. It felt more like me.

I thought, “Well, if I die here, I suppose I die here. I'll be okay.”

As a side note, I may have experienced a brief flash of a life review at this point, but I am not certain. If there was one, it happened so quickly and was so brief that it is difficult to know. I was only seven years old, so I did not have much of a life to look back upon.

Looking back now, it is difficult to tell.

Eventually, Trey's father noticed me in the pool. He grabbed me and pulled me out onto the floor, where I lay coughing up the water from my lungs.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 00/00/2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was pushed into a pool when I was 7 years old and nearly lost consciousness. But I don't think I had.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No
I wasn't entirely apart, just slowly separating. I must've been at the threshold of being out of body or something. Because of that, I heard everything normally, as it was. There are only so many details you can gather mid-drowning, though.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? At the later end of it, when I realized I was dying.
I didn't have any knowledge of anything really, at least not first-hand. I had a subconscious knowing that oxygen was in water, even though I wasn't taught that in school just yet, as if I knew it at some other point. It wasn't really knowledge other than that, just clarity. The best I've been able to relate it to is feeling like whipped cream. Like a big tub of cool whip. Light and sweet, supremely me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
I think things slowed down a bit. I think I had only been drowning for 5 minutes tops, but it felt like 15 or 20.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I'm not entirely sure if my vision was different. I was more sensitive, I think? More aware, but not much really changed. I wasn't seeing weird colors or anything.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I'm not sure. I think it was normal, for the nothing you really hear with water in your ears. There was the splashing and struggling, and the frantic beating of my heart, but that's it. I may have been more aware of it; it may have been louder, but I am uncertain. It's not like I have much to compare it to, you know?

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? There was the panic and pain of my body, the fear of dying. There was the sadness and despair of no one doing anything, a kind of heartbreak. And there was the profound peace, clarity, and release/relief.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic
Well, I was 7 years old, so I didn't really have anything I clung to. My father is Christian, but doesn't really do anything major with it. As for my mother, I'm not sure, but most likely some form of agnostic or atheist.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
I'd say I consider myself a Deist of sorts now. I think there's probably something, maybe even a god-like figure, and not something bad, but it's not really in our capacity right now to know. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I didn't really have beliefs at that age; I was just living my life.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
It definitely has impacted things, but I've been exploring myself spiritually for some time now, before really digging into that memory with an adult mind.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
Given some of the knowledge I had that I most likely didn't have prior, it may indicate I knew something prior to this life. I don't know. It's not impossible.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
I felt a bit one with things, accepting and calm. I felt connected, a part of nature's cycle of life. But nothing to really indicate something more solid than that feeling.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Given the separation, clarity, and knowledge that occurred during it, I think that must've been my soul, or at least just me unburdened by the brain. Returning to how I was before when I got out of the pool kind of hammered the nail for that theory. What is the advantage scientifically for not being that way? For not knowing and being mostly present? It could've been a brain thing, but I don't know; I'm not entirely convinced with how weird that was.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain
I have a feeling we should be caring less about our deaths. Like, it's going to be okay; we'll be okay. So we just have to focus on living, being here now, for we are here now. If that makes sense. No one told me this, but I don't know; I wasn't all that stressed about it truly, only my body kind of was.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life
Looking back on it now has been weird. Only you can really know what happened, you know? There's only so much I can say. I'd like to think there isn't nothing; that'd be kinda stupid personally. Like all this crazy complexity and feelings just to go kaput? How boring. I don't know what will happen, but I'm trying to hold on to what I know and who I love and how I live, and trying not to worry about it as much as I once did. I'm not in the scared, stressful place I was at the time, and I'm grateful, and I want to hold onto that. I want to reach that clarity, that peace and love, as best I can.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
Well, I wanted to fistfight that kid, that's for sure. I also became more unsure of the adults in my life, just because I felt a bit abandoned in that moment.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I tried to explain it as best I can, with what I know, being a nerd. But even with how much grammar and words in English I know, it's still hard to describe. It's like trying to explain a color to someone colorblind. I got pretty close here, though.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Due to my C-PTSD, my memory of my childhood is very poor. I had to write so many notes about events to remember them properly. It was so bad that I felt such a separation from my younger self. To best explain it, I remember once my dad sent me a photo of a girl in a room. My first thought in that moment wasn't 'Oh hey, that's me as a kid,' but 'What's that little blonde girl doing in my childhood bedroom?' I'm shocked that I can still remember the dying experience now, and with such detail. I wish it were more detailed, truly, but there's only so much you can get from this noggin, probably.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The clarity mostly. That peace and lightness, that love and acceptance. I want to be that kind of person. I want to be wholly me, without restraint like that. I strive to be that every day.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Well, it's hard to believe drowning didn't happen, you know? But I was 7; I probably moved on a bit quickly, even if it was a traumatizing moment. Funnily enough, I don't fear water, just being stuck underwater, like being shoved. I love the ocean a lot; it's peaceful. I hope to live by a nice lake or ocean someday.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real
My memory isn't perfect, but given how clear it is even now, with a clarity that surpasses who I am now, I think, I'm pretty certain it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I've had dreams with a similar clarity and peace feeling, but they still remained dreams, with how wonky, weird, and cutty those can get. I don't think those diminish the experience, but it has made me question the limitations of my mind.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes