Sara BJ ADCs

Experience Description

I have two experiences within three days, while hovering between life and death. I am lying in my hospital bed in a state where my lungs are filled with blood and I am receiving oxygen. I do not remember much from these days, having been critically ill for almost six days at that point. I am lying in my bed on the ward and 'wake' because I suddenly feel a presence in the room. At the foot of my bed stands my grandmother looking at me. She died in 2010, and I was by her side until she passed over. It was a very painful death where my grandmother would not let go, and saying goodbye to her was in no way a beautiful sight. It was that same dreadful vision that met me at the foot of my bed. She said nothing but stood lifeless and ashen-gray, staring at me in the dark. I felt fear fill the room and then me. The terror of death hung in the air like a thick fog that propagated within me. I became afraid. The seriousness dawned on me. I would not survive.

Suddenly, I wake up as a nurse comes running into the room and shakes me. I had stopped breathing and the machines monitoring me had alerted her. She calls to me, and I am abruptly present again and terribly frightened. I gasp for air but cannot get any, and they turn up the oxygen. My grandmother is gone, but I am left with a feeling of horror, fighting not to fall asleep again because I am afraid I will stop breathing if I sleep.

I then remember nothing of what happens around me until the following night when I again "wake" to a presence in the hospital room. This time it feels completely opposite: I feel the room fill with a peace and calm I have no words for. At the foot of my bed stands my father's younger brother, who was also my godfather. He died of AIDS when I was 12 years old. He was a very important person in my childhood, always filling any room with festivity, color, care, and joy. As he stands by my hospital bed, he smiles at me and reaches his hand out toward mine. I sit up in bed and reach out for him. I see him as all ages simultaneously; he is both a young man and a middle-aged man at the same time. He radiates a light that feels so immensely familiar, like home, like love. It is as if he arrives from another dimension that takes up space in the hospital room. In this dimension, he is in the middle of a celebration. There is joy, figures toasting, laughing, talking together, and truly enjoying being together. I do not know the other figures; they are in the background. But I feel their joy throughout my entire body. And I feel my uncle's presence in my whole being. It IS him! He smiles at me and tells me, as he takes my hand, that I must live. I must live more than ever before and I must live now! I am then overwhelmed by a joy and zest for life that I have never felt in my body before, yet which I recognize from an existence before my life. I feel a life force fill me, and suddenly I am awakened by a nurse shouting that I must breathe. I am lying down, my uncle is gone, and so is the dimension that so beautifully filled the room. I am back on the ward, in the hospital bed, in my sick body, which until that moment had been about to give up. But I am filled with a life force, and I feel that I must live. It feels as if there has been a change in my DNA. I must live.

In the following days, I recover faster than anyone had dared to believe. My partner arrives at the hospital after traveling from Denmark with the news that they did not know if I would survive. Strangely, I feel his presence before he even enters the ward. It feels as if my consciousness is expanded and I suddenly exist in two dimensions simultaneously. As he grabs the door handle to the hospital room, my entire being knows it is him. He looks confused when he enters: I am sitting up in bed, no longer receiving oxygen, and smiling broadly at him, saying, "I must live." He cries, is confused, and says I look like a million dollars. He cannot understand how I can look so healthy when just days ago I had been close to death. But I feel life rushing through every cell in my body, as if I have been given a new chance. Despite my physical condition after many critical days, I feel stronger than ever before. And my consciousness remains expanded nearly two years after my experiences. I still feel as if I exist in several dimensions at once.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 5/24/2024

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was stationed at Berkeley University as part of my Ph.D. program, where I was writing my dissertation. After a normal day of training and work, I sat on the sofa after dinner to read a book. Suddenly, I heard and felt a pop in my left lung and became ill: I had shortness of breath, was disoriented, and lost mobility and strength in my legs and left side. I was admitted with suspicion of a stroke or pulmonary embolism, but neither was found at the local hospital. They scanned my lungs and found infiltrates on both sides, suspecting pneumonia, and started me on antibiotics and 60 mg of corticosteroids. I was admitted overnight for observation and given oxygen. I informed the doctors that I was diagnosed with Granulomatosis with Polyangiitis (GPA) in 2019 but had never had organ involvement before. Despite this, I was discharged the next morning with instructions to wait 48 hours for improvement. However, I did not improve, and in the following days, I could not breathe when lying down. I drifted in and out of consciousness and was readmitted acutely, still with suspected pneumonia. At the local hospital, it was standard to give blood-thinners to all bedridden patients. Even though I refused, I was given blood-thinning medication, after which my condition worsened rapidly. I needed constant oxygen and was very ill, so they decided to perform a bronchoscopy under full anesthesia. When I woke up, I was told I was in critical condition because all the blood vessels in my alveoli had burst, and I was drowning in my own blood. The bleeding could not be stopped, so I was urgently transferred to UCSF in San Francisco, where a rheumatologist specialized in GPA began the only treatment that could save my life: 1000mg of corticosteroids daily for three days, followed by chemotherapy. It was during these three days that I had my two near-death experiences.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I absolutely feel that I was in the second part of my experience, when my uncle came to me.
I experienced being able to communicate with my uncle and everything happening in this dimension simply by existing. I felt his words throughout my entire being. I was present in a way I do not remember being before: everything occurred in a flow of energy, feelings, and consciousness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time did not exist, especially not in the meeting with my uncle.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I could see in layers, I could see times represented on top of each other, I could see dimensions existing simultaneously.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My physical hearing was subordinate; everything I heard occurred on other frequencies.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I met my deceased grandmother in my first experience and my deceased uncle in my second experience.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The light that came with my uncle was light from another dimension.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
When I saw both my grandmother and my uncle, I experienced stepping into another dimension.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? During the first experience, I felt unease, fear of death, and fear. During the second experience, I felt a feeling best described as a mixture of coming home, being loved unconditionally, and sensing that I exist beyond my physical body. I felt that I am far more than my body.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I suddenly understood that I must live.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths
I was shaped by a culturally Christian upbringing but have left the state church. At the time of the experience, I did not believe in God or the divine, but mostly in the connection between people.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
No religions contain what I believe in today: the divine consciousness and connection between all of us. I believe that we are souls who live physical lives on Earth in a physical body, but that we exist far beyond this physical form. I believe that we are all part of and connected in divine consciousness.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I was completely sure that I could not have contact with deceased souls.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I value the presence of my family more than anything else. I set clear boundaries and prioritize self-care more than ever before.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I felt a divine presence through my uncle and a life force that felt recognizable and as if I have been a part of it before. I was told that I am on Earth for the last time, with a feeling that I will continue to live in another existence after my life here.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Yes, it is my purpose to live and not die yet.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Yes, everything is about surrendering to live life to the fullest.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I clearly felt that my uncle continues to exist in a place that is not in his previous earthly life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Yes, the fear, death anxiety, and all the horrible things we can experience only exist in our physical form as humans when we do not dare to believe in our divine origin.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
I felt very loved.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
Since my experiences, I feel that I exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously; in other words, my consciousness is expanded and larger than my physical body. It is no longer possible for me to compromise my truth; I am compelled to live an authentic life and follow what is true for me. I need peace, time, and presence to a much greater degree than before. I have an expansion of consciousness that allows me to periodically maintain contact with deceased souls, guardian angels, and other spiritual helpers. I dream much more than before; I receive 'messages' from the other side and premonitions. I have a fundamental sense that I am being cared for.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
Yes, my relationships have changed significantly. Some no longer feel right to invest energy in, and it has become crucial for me to spend time only with people I feel connected to.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
There are elements of my experiences for which there are no words. For example, the authenticity of the experiences, which felt more real than anything else I had experienced up to that point.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
My experiences are what I remember best from the days when I was critically ill.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I have access to all my clairvoyant abilities and experience existing in multiple dimensions simultaneously.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Both of my experiences are meaningful to me because they have shown me the emotions I have chosen to embrace in my earthly life, such as fear and anxiety, and at the same time, I was given life again with new insight and a certainty that I am pure love and exist beyond my physical body.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared my experiences relatively soon after having them, but the only reaction was an acknowledgment that they were significant to me. After that, I didn't talk about them for over a year. I have started talking about them again and have felt a strong need to speak with others who have had near-death experiences. Through this, I have developed a language and a certainty that empowers me to share my experiences with others and to discuss the many aftereffects with my close ones. I have been met with care and understanding, but also with skepticism and curiosity.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain
I had only minimal knowledge of the stereotypical near-death experience narrative from popular culture and media, which focuses on light, tunnels, and the choice to return. Because of this, I long believed that I hadn't had a genuine near-death experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Since the experiences took place, I have never doubted their reality at any point, but I have been uncertain about their significance in my life and how much space they should occupy.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Since the experiences took place, I have never doubted their reality at any point, but I have been uncertain about their significance in my life and how much space they should occupy.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
Through the expanded consciousness I experience after these events, I have contacted both my grandmother and my uncle, who explained the meanings of my experiences and why I had them. This occurred spontaneously during meditation and while falling asleep.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes