Sandi B NDE

Experience Description

I had turned 16 years old a week prior to this experience. On the morning of April 29, 2009, I woke up not feeling good. I got up and went to my dad on the front porch and told him that something was wrong and I felt like I needed to go to the hospital. I had been battling illness for years, and up to this point, we still didn't have answers, but we were used to hospitals.

My dad said, "Okay, just hang on one minute." At that point, I started to get a really bad headache, and I slid down against the wall and fainted. As I started to come to, I remember hearing my dad yelling for our neighbor to come help. Our neighbor picked me up and carried me inside to our couch.

I cried out for my dad to help me. The headache was quickly intensifying into an unimaginably painful migraine all over my head. I felt like my head was exploding. I started to vomit and scream from the pain. I was begging for anything to stop the pain, but it just kept getting worse.

At this point, I started to go in and out of consciousness. I remember hearing my dad saying, "Just hang on, baby. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." I could hear him talking to my mom on the phone, telling her what was going on and that he needed her there now. I remember hearing him say, "She's not going to make it. We have to go without you."

He had my neighbor carry me to his truck, which wasn't registered. I have no idea why he didn't call an ambulance, and my mom was so mad at him for that too. He grabbed a big pot because I was still vomiting and started heading for the hospital, which was about 30 minutes away.

I was still going in and out of consciousness, and I started vomiting blood in his truck. At some point, he saw my mom's car driving towards him, as if she was going to the house. They both stopped and moved me into my mom's car. He left his truck on the side of the road and got in the back seat with me.

I remember constantly coming to and hearing my mom begging me to just hang on and telling me, "I've got you. You're okay." That kept recurring. I'd throw up, pass out, and wake up to hearing their voices trying to reassure me.

I came to for the last time, hearing my mom say, "She's not going to make it. We need help," as she was pulling into a fire station. I vomited again as my mom jumped out, screaming for help at the fire station.

I couldn't open my eyes anymore. I couldn't move, but I remember two firemen pulling me out of the back seat of my mom's van while my parents were telling me they loved me and that they were there. I lost consciousness for the last time after that. Everything became vague. I don't remember getting to the hospital.

The next thing I remember is the experience.

Lying in a hospital bed, I suddenly felt this awareness and release. I started to feel like I was being pulled up, not in an aggressive manner. It was like I was released and free. I was suddenly above my body, and I could look down and see myself and everyone else in the room. I could hear everyone.

There was so much panic and chaos, but it felt like it didn't matter, like I didn't care. I just felt free and peaceful. I could see and hear the doctor, the nurses, and my parents. One of the nurses was telling my parents they had to step out and was trying to reassure them. My parents were crying and kept yelling my name. I heard "code blue" and watched the doctor start CPR on me.

Time didn't seem to exist. I floated up into this extremely bright light. The brightness seemed brighter than the sun, and it felt so warm.

I was then standing in a field full of flowers and one single big tree. I went over to that tree, and there was one white table and two matching chairs. It was a place that is so hard to describe. The sun was shining, but it was so much brighter. The field seemed endless, but I didn't feel fear of where I was. I felt peace and contentment.

It was not like here in life, though. It was a level of peace that I don't think anyone could feel in life, and that makes it so hard to explain.

I sat on one of the chairs and looked around. When I looked back in front of me, my grandpa, who had died a year earlier, was sitting across from me in the other chair. I had this overwhelming feeling of joy and laughed. I got up and gave him the biggest hug. I had missed him, but that didn't seem to matter. Nothing mattered.

We sat and talked and laughed for what felt like hours, but it didn't seem like time was the same either. I'll never forget the feeling of that peace, warmth, and freedom. It was a release from everything in a way that I'll never be able to describe.

After what seemed like hours of being with my grandpa, he said, "It's not your time yet. There are still things that you have to do. You have to go back."

Suddenly, that overwhelming peace was gone. I started feeling sadness and confusion. I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay. I started to cry and asked him why. He said that I wasn't done and that when I am, I will understand.

I put my face in my hands and told him I didn't want to go. I cried as all of those amazing feelings started to go away and all of the pain and emotions came back. Something compelled me to look down at my grandpa's feet, and I saw these brown slipper shoes he was wearing.

I looked back up at his face and told him I loved him. He said he loved me and that I would be okay.

I then felt this pull, and I was back in my body. I felt all of the pain. I felt confused, angry, and sad. I was alive, but I couldn't open my eyes. I could hear the people talking around me. I heard one say I needed Life Flight right away. Another said to call Children's Hospital. I didn't hear my parents.

I felt weak and exhausted and was in so much pain. I passed out.

After a while, I was able to open my eyes a little bit. I was being taken out to a helicopter, and my parents were walking along on the side of me. I remember them saying, "It's okay, sweetheart. You're gonna be okay! We will meet you there," as I was taken out to the roof and put in a helicopter.

I went into a coma shortly after we took off. I woke up three days later in the ICU at the children's hospital that I was flown to. My parents were there at my side. They hugged me and cried, and I felt so confused about everything.

I spent about a month in that hospital. While I was there, an old woman came by my door with a knitted, handmade blanket and asked my parents if she could give it to me. I still have that blanket. I passed it down to my first child.

When I was finally able to go home, my parents laid me back in the same back seat of my mom's car. It was about a three-hour drive home, and I could tell they were exhausted and so on edge.

They asked me what I remembered, and I told them that I had a strange dream. I told them that I was with Grandpa for a while and we talked and everything felt different. They gave each other this look of disbelief or shock, and my mom said, "You were gone. We lost you."

I felt shocked because I knew it had to be real. It absolutely felt real and vivid, and I couldn't forget any part of it. At the same time, my 16-year-old mind couldn't believe that I may have seen the other side.

My dad then asked, "What was Grandpa wearing when you were with him?"

I said he was wearing a dark blue suit.

My dad said, "What about his shoes?"

I said he had weird brown slipper shoes.

Both of my parents were in disbelief. They said that when Grandpa died, he was buried in those brown slippers as a joke. It was apparently something Grandpa always joked about. He said that if they buried him in those, he would haunt every one of them.

He was buried in them, but only the adults knew. None of the grandkids knew. He had an open casket funeral, but only the top of the casket had been opened. I never saw his feet.

I died, visited with my grandpa, and my grandpa told me I had to come back. Seeing his slippers was a way of providing some kind of proof, I think.

On the morning of April 29, 2009, according to my parents and medical reports, I had started out with a hypertensive crisis. My blood pressure was nearly 300 over around 190. I had a stroke and went into cardiac arrest. I had just turned 16.

I'm now 33 years old, with my own family and a passion for social work. I was a typical stuck-up kid, vain and self-centered. After my experience, I felt like I had to do something good in this life. I have to help people, like the social workers who helped my family. I have to pay it forward.

I will never forget that experience. It always feels like it just happened. I know that where I am going after I finish here is so much better.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 04/29/2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I had been suffering from heart and autoimmune conditions that were not known to the doctors at the time. We had been to so many doctors in an attempt to find out what was wrong with me, but my conditions had not been diagnosed at the time of the event. I ended up having a stroke and went into cardiac arrest.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I watched the doctor start CPR, I watched what looked like chaos in the hospital room. One was trying to get an IV in me, another was giving me a shot. I saw my parents and a nurse trying to reassure them.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I sat at the table near the tree with my grandpa.
It's higher. I felt aware of everything, yet nothing mattered. I was more alert than ever but just peaceful. I didn't need anything or have any negative emotions; I was just being and completely content. It's so hard to describe the feelings. I didn't want to come back.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I really had no sense of time. I was existing without spending time or worrying about time but I felt like it had also sped up. When I was told I had to come back, it seemed like roughly 4 or 5 hours passed but on earth it had only been about 4 minutes.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Everything had more color. Everything was more vibrant. There were colors of flowers in the field that I couldn't explain. There was a blue sky, but the blue was more vibrant. The light was shining brighter. The feelings were more vibrant too. Like the peacefulness is not something I can say we could experience here in life.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Everything was clearer. Before the experience, I would hear someone whisper and say speak up. While I was there, it was like all senses were intensified. I could hear everything clearly, like the small breeze that made the leaves shake and my footsteps on the ground sounded louder.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I sat with my Grandpa who died in January 2008, the year before my experience

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The light started after I was pulled from my body, it became brighter and brighter, and I was suddenly in a field. I don't know if the light took me to the field. The light was shining brighter than here on earth, the entire time I was there, but not a light that burns.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
It was unearthly because everything was more vivid and beautiful than anything on earth.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? peaceful, pleasant, free, relief, joy, happy, content. On a level that I will never be able to explain. Not a worry or care.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I was told I had to go back and I didn't want to but was pulled back anyway.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Other Christian
I grew up believing in Christianity, though we weren't devout. My family believed in the Christian faith but we didn't attend church, except on a few occasions.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I don't believe in God anymore since my experience because what religion claims that you see when you die, was not what I saw. My grandpa told me I wasn't done and I would understand when I am done. I think our energy reincarnates with a purpose that deep down, we are aware of. When we finish that, we get to go to the other plane of existence.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Atheist
I don't believe in god now or since. It's really hard to explain the feelings, because it didn't feel like anything that you would feel here in life. My experience took away the religious beliefs and replaced them with others. I believe that we go to a different plane of existence, parallel to this, and our energy or soul reincarnates.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
At the time, I believed in God and was always told that when we die, we see Jesus and the pearly gates, which is not what I saw or experienced. I was always told that it was peaceful, which it absolutely was.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I stopped believing in God because I didn't see any deity. I saw more of the horrible things in the world and started believing that we are here with a purpose of doing good for each other and the planet we live on.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
I stopped believing in religion and started living a life that is morally right not based on religious beliefs, but trying to do good things for others because it's the right thing to do. I don't fear death, I just hope it isn't painful again. I believe that we come into this life with a purpose that is already set and once we finish that, we go back to that other plane of existence.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Absolutely. I will never be able to describe it fully, because there is no way to. What I experienced is not anything that human life experiences. It's so much different. It's better than, I think, our human brains can comprehend right now.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
This happened when I was 16, I am 33 now and I still vividly remember this. I don't remember a lot from that time because everything was so chaotic and my parents were having issues, but I will never forget my visit with my grandpa or what I felt and saw.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my grandpa after over a year was really meaningful to me. I was really close with him and his death really impacted me. To be in a place like that and see him healthy looking was extraordinary.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I have shared it with different people over the years. A lot of them didn't believe me because they believe that we see God or Jesus when we die and that wasn't my experience. My family has always believed me. There is one other person who is influenced by it and it has made him more curious about it and think about death and what happens more. He is interested in trying to find out what happens now. He told me that I should share it publicly so that it can be scientifically studied.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real
I felt like it must have been real because it was so vivid. It was like a memory. I felt emotional about it too. Since it felt like a memory and I was pulled back from that place, I think I grieved over it. I was sad, angry and emotional because I wanted to be there with the amazing feelings and my grandpa and I was taken from there. For a while I fought with myself over if it was real or not because of the emotions that I felt. But it's a memory, not a dream, so it happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
It's a memory. I still remember it like it just happened. I "lived" outside of my physical body in a beautiful, peaceful, indescribable place. I still miss that place. I know that it happened, I was there.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Everything in this is exactly what I remember from my experience on April 29, 2009

Anything else to add? No