Sam T NDE-like STE

Experience Description

I got up out of bed after resting and became agitated again. I took off all my clothes and ran around the room. Suddenly everything stopped and a very bright white light appeared. I felt love. I began to float off the ground into the light. I could see my body standing there, yet somehow I was floating and removed from it. The feeling of love grew stronger the closer I came to the light. When I was in it, I felt the most unconditional love I have ever experienced. If I could describe it, it would be like feeling the unconditional love of a mother for her newborn baby while simultaneously experiencing the most intense euphoria of your life. It was endless, although time seemed eternal in this realm.

The light began communicating with me telepathically. I immediately knew it was the creator of the universe, though it seemed less like a personified God and more like a plural entity, the way light cannot be counted. It told me to calm down, relax, and stop worrying. The whole experience was so overwhelmingly beautiful that my human body began crying uncontrollably.

I asked questions telepathically, such as, "I've been such a bad person. What will happen to me?" The light answered immediately, "It is forgiven." Every time I asked, "What about this thing I did?" or "What about that? That was so embarrassing!" it said, "It is forgiven." Then I became curious. I asked, "But what about people who do terrible things, like commit murder?" The light answered, "It is not my role to judge."

The light then unfolded the universe. That is the best way I can explain it. It unfolded the entire universe so that it lay like a map on a table in the air above the room, the entire blueprint. I suddenly understood how everything worked. It was incredibly overwhelming and mind-blowing. It was like someone had taken a paper airplane, our perceived reality, and unfolded it. For the first time, you understood that it was folded and made of paper. This took a while to process. I seemed to be given the time, as I remember exploring different facets of this enormous revelation.

I then looked at the light and asked telepathically, "What is the meaning of life?" Without a second’s hesitation, the answer came: "Love." The light said, "It is your job to spread love through music and fighting for social justice." Then it said, "Now, this won't all fit in your human head, but you'll remember the feeling." With that, it put me back in my body.

As I arrived, I felt the concepts I had just understood slowly slip from my grasp. I could not comprehend them. It was like my brain did not have enough processing power. As I realized this, I started to understand more complicated human concepts. I remember understanding how certain powerful organizations worked, but even that became too complicated to remember.

I then heard the light, which had physically left the room, speak telepathically in my head: "You've won the jackpot. Go and get your winnings." I was then walked, against my will as if steered by an unseen hand, out of the hotel room, through the hallway, and into a beautiful gold elevator. I felt my arm rise against my will, and I remember thinking, "Please don't press the elevator buttons," as a voice said, "Congratulations! You've won the lottery!" In that moment, my hand shot out and pressed all the buttons for the twenty floors, plus the alarms. A million sparkling lights and sounds shot across the gold reflective elevator like a prism, and all I could hear in my head was the sound of a cash register.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 10/1/2023

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was having my first bipolar episode. I had been up for three days, becoming more manic. I got a room at a very expensive hotel and had a night of exuberance and excess. My body was very worn out. I drank an entire small bottle of vodka and experienced a heart arrhythmia the next morning in the lobby. EMTs were called and performed tests. They sent me back to my room to rest.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
Nothing specific happened, but I could look down and see the room around me while I was with the light.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? During the time in the light. It was like regular life had been sleeping and I had just woken up.
I did not have a human body, so I was alert. I had nothing to drag me down, such as getting tired.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Yes. It was just an endless period. I understood the universe goes on forever. It has no end and no beginning.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Everyday vision is the average person’s perception of places, rooms, and things. This was like God had appeared in the room.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Same.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The light was the brightest light I’ve ever seen, yet simultaneously not blinding.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
Yes, when I was first let into the light, it was so enveloping that I could only see light all around me. As I entered, it became just a part of the room.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Relief, peace, safety, happiness, excitement, curiosity, gratitude.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
See original explanation.

Did scenes from your past come back? I remembered many past events
Not many, but a few, as mentioned above.

Did scenes from the future come? Nothing particular, but it seemed I was manifesting my destiny, and the light was confirming it and pointing me in the right direction.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
Yes, when I was with the light, it was like it held me up to teach me things and communicate. It was as if we were having a conversation. I wouldn’t have wanted to go past it anyway, but I don’t think it would have let me.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic
I was questioning the existence of God more during that time and became interested in spirituality.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I have become a lot more turned inward in terms of believing in the power of my mind. I have also sought out more beauty and meaning.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
Spiritual

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Some things were confirmed that I suspected; others came as surprises at the time. Now they seem obvious.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I believed more in the importance of balance, because the light told me the universe was off balance, and I have to help restore it (I forgot to mention that). So I became more grounded, focused on staying calm and collected. I also believed more in the power of manifestation.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
I was told by the light telepathically that some people see it as Jesus or Muhammad, or whomever they’ve wished for.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
Not sure. I have done a past-life regression since this experience.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
See original explanation

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I told it to you. I feel great responsibility.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Spreading love.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
Yes, it was implied everything goes on, and it never began.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
More just that everything will be okay.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
It is the meaning of life.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
Yes. I would say I cannot be around shallow people anymore. I used to have a lot of casual sex, but I cannot do that anymore.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Indescribable experiences are indescribable because you cannot describe them to a human brain, let alone with an alphabet of words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember it as one of the most pivotal events in my life, though it happened a few years ago. It was also a traumatic event in a positive way, so the minor details are a bit hard to recall.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I can read people better. It is like I stare into their soul and see their true intentions.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared it soon after with my mom, and she brushed it off as hallucinations. I then shared it with more friends and a therapist as time went on. Some were skeptical, while others were very receptive and even amazed. My therapist said I had an NDE. My mom later believed me to some extent.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I believed it was 100% real and still do. I also had people react to me differently. It changed me and the way people perceived me, almost in a Christ-like way at times. I am not Christian.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I believe it is real, and I talk to the light sometimes. I want to become more connected.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
It has never been reproduced. When I had my second bipolar manic episode, I had the chance to learn more from the light. It taught me about manifestation, but it never appeared in a visible form. It was all through telepathy and asking questions of the divine, and I can still do that.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes

Anything else to add? I truly believe this is not a hallucination in the classical sense. I know it’s easy to dismiss it as a symptom of bipolar disorder, but the time the light appeared for me was like all the stars aligning to receive that message. The light even said it brought me to that time and place in alignment with my mind.