Ryan R Probable NDE

Experience Description

My intention in posting this is to hopefully give insight into so-called "hellish" NDEs.

I experienced exactly what hellish NDErs describe, minus the imagery.

To begin with, I have spent many years learning about consciousness and the higher self. I have done a lot of shadow work and was armed with awareness of the shadow self before this happened, which ended up helping me. But what happened was I took a significant amount of THC in an attempt to have a normal trip after the first few doses didn’t have an effect. I waited many hours and then took more, thinking I was in the clear. It ended up being around 20 or 25 mg, and I’m someone who’s never done a THC gummy before.

What I experienced brought me very close to death, and I was consciously aware that there was a good chance I would die. I experienced heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and extreme trembling. I am an otherwise very healthy athlete with zero history of mental illness. I actually called 911 for myself for the first time ever due to a health incident and was rushed to the ER. I even called them back 15-20 minutes later, and they still hadn’t shown up at roughly 1 a.m. I was getting closer to death.

Along with those symptoms, I also experienced what I can only describe as reality itself concussing into my head. It was like layers of dimensions were smashing my head in intense waves while this darkness overcame me. This is the part that gave me insight into when people describe hellish NDEs:

I felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair. For the first time ever, all the negative thoughts and fears I had been raised to believe and acquired throughout life felt like a distinctly different entity speaking to me. It was completely contrasted to the "primary conscious self" I am speaking with right now. I kept myself calm by telling myself it would be okay, that it would pass, while the shadow self fought as hard as it could with these thoughts. It truly felt like some sort of external entity, and I was filled with overwhelming fear and anguish.

I knew that if this continued, I couldn’t take it. If I had been like all the hellish NDErs who are unable to move and forced to lie there and endure it, I can understand how they would feel as though it were real.

What I found interesting, and why I wanted to post this, was the fact that I experienced this without even having to die. It seems to be the same with all the hellish experiences. People who come very close to death have hormones and conscious awareness that they may die, as well as unresolved fears that manifest and amplifying one another.

They also seem to think that when they experience this, they are fully dead, but they don’t seem to be. Just very close to death. Combine that with people who slip between a state of consciousness and death, and it’s certainly feasible that in this dreamlike state, it would manifest their worst fear, which would be hell. It's also worth noting that hell only seems to be present in those who were raised Christian. But they always end on a positive note with bliss, and that seems to be the moment their body actually dies and crosses over to the other side.

Due to the nature of THC itself, it seems to allow a direct connection with your higher spiritual self. This certainly assisted in my understanding of the experience.

My goal in posting this is to give some insights into what these so-called hellish experiences seem to be. They seem like dreams where your highest self confronts you with things you normally suppress in daily life, but with several exacerbating factors, such as near-death and toxins being released in your body as you are dying. They manifest in a much more vivid way, but that is always met with bliss when the body finally crosses over.

I hope this helps people to understand a bit more about these experiences. I also had some other experiences I will be posting shortly that were insightful.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: it was within the last 6 months

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I nearly OD'd on THC

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I wouldn't say there was a huge spike at any point. It was just my awareness that I am more and more likely to die alone in this house that got worse.
External awareness was less in the sense that I was hyper-fixated on just surviving and staying calm. Everything else external was nearly drowned completely out. I was, however, very alert and remember it all very vividly. My mental self-awareness was heightened more than though if that is what you are asking. I was, in a way, forced to focus on the self mentally to survive. But my main concern was not losing my mind.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It slowed down. I thought alot more time passed than had when I called 911 back the 2nd time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience If you mean eyesight, it was about the same or worse. Everything was getting dark and was hazy

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My eardrums felt like they were being pounded in so it was suppressed and my thoughts were amplified massively in exchange

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Unimaginable anguish and fear. And I've experienced really bad stuff in my life; this was inexplicably worse.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- New age
Raised Christian, now believer in higher conciseness. I believe Jesus likely existed as an ascended master and/or primordial being that came down to teach us a lesson in love

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age
Same as above

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
it confirmed what I'd already suspected strongly

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Seemed like my shadow self or 'unresolved fears' manifesting

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
The shadow self was able to communicate seemingly as a separate entity, and is suppressed throughout daily life out of fear; then can manifest very strongly in certain circumstances and its extremely un-earthly and intense.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
I am able to describe most of it here, but the separation between self and shadow-self is very very difficult to express. It was like a conversation with myself and another entity at the same time. It felt like both at once.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I dont remember almost anything else about that day but I remember all of this very vividly

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
Alot of NDErf articles, and many other sources of NDE evidence

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I've been faced with these thoughts much more prominently after as thought I'm being encouraged to face them and resolve them

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes