Ruslan Possible NDE

Experience Description

I want to share the experience I went through, which divided the time of my life into "before" and "after," and also describe the after-effects, which lasted for about a year, and how this event influenced my worldview.

In 1994, I was I was 21 years old and suffered a severe case of measles and was in the intensive care unit. My body temperature rose above 41°C (105.8°F) and continued to climb. The nurse on duty had fallen asleep at her desk in the hallway between the rooms at some point.

Out-of-Body Exit

At a certain point, I began to feel an inner distancing, as if I were accelerating for a jump. I tried to jump out of my body, but was pulled back in like I was affected by a rubber band. This repeated many times in rapid succession. Then, suddenly, lightness arrived and the resistance vanished. I was outside my body. All emotions were completely absent and only pure observation remained.

I hovered in the room, a couple of meters above my bed and closer to the corner. A single light bulb was on the ceiling in the room, the light was yellowish and dim. I was by myself. The most unusual sensation was that my vision became multi-dimensional, as if I could see everything in a circle simultaneously, without the usual direction of a gaze.

Observing the Nurse and Interaction

I knew that outside the room's door was a hallway where the nurse was on duty at her desk. Instead of "flying" to her, I simply transferred my attention there. Instantly, I was next to her. The nurse was asleep, sitting at the desk with her head dropped onto her arms.

I did not speak words aloud. It was a powerful mental impulse, a surge of intention focused on her ear. Internally, I shouted at her, "Time to go to the intensive care room!" At that same moment, she shuddered, raised her head, and glanced briefly at her wristwatch. Quickly, without hesitation, she headed to my room. I observed her entering and was alarmed to see my body in agony. She immediately began setting up IV drips. From that moment, I began to be pulled back into my body and could no longer leave it.

Journey (Flash Before Return)

Just before finally returning to my body, I experienced a vivid vision. I was flying through the Universe, feeling myself as a vast wind. Our Earth looked like a tiny golden pearl, emitting a music similar to the ringing of crystal vases and quiet moans. I took this pearl into my palm, looked inside, and was pulled inside; like a genie into a bottle. Then I followed a bright light and felt a sensation of cold. After which, I became aware of myself in my physical body.

After-Effects Over the Following Year

For about a year after being discharged, I was periodically overcome by attacks resembling the the OBE state experienced as acceleration and the rubber band effect. Before an attack, my body would become incredibly heavy, as if gravity had increased a hundredfold. I would feel an inner distancing, then a sharp exit from my body with a sensation of expanding space, followed by compression backwards into my body. This happened for many cycles in a row. It was like watching from a telescope, by the acceleration, then everything got small, then I felt like I was out of my body, then I saw everything from spherical vision and very large, then I returned to a compressed body again. If an attack caught me while driving, I would immediately park and wait it out. Over time, the frequency and intensity faded away.

Influence on Worldview (The "Eva-Lar" Model)

Before this event, I was not interested in esotericism and had not studied religious or philosophical teachings. However, the experience I went through spontaneously formed itself into an intuitive picture of the world, which I called "Eva-Lar." I am including a brief description below. Perhaps this will help in understanding how a person far from mysticism integrates such a transpersonal experience into everyday life.

Eva-Lar: The Pearl Within

Eva-Lar is a metaphor for an individual karmic bubble, the place consciousness enters before birth and after death. In the material world, this bubble is perceived as the planet Earth. There are many such pearls in the Universe. They are schools for young sparks, training grounds for the experienced, and places of rest for the weary.

How the Dream Begins

A spark (spirit), born from the Big Bang, flies through the Universe and hears the alluring music of a golden pearl. Curiosity makes it look inside—and it is pulled in. Around the spark, a karmic bubble forms, a personal ocean of fantasies. The spark immerses itself in the illusion and is born into the material world, mistaking these fantasies for its own thoughts.

Life in the Bubble

A person becomes attached to the material and wants to live forever. Death is an awakening inside one's own bubble, where all thoughts and fears become visible. This can be heaven or hell, depending on the content of one's consciousness.

Two Paths

* Letting Go: Accept everything with love and release it. Then the bubble dissolves, and the spark expands into a universal wind.

* Holding On: Cling to desires. Then demons and fears gain strength, and the cycle of rebirths continues.

The School

Eva-Lar is a school where sparks learn to move through their own expansion, not through the inertia of the Big Bang. By clinging, we thicken the walls of the bubble. By letting go, we become larger than it.

Love and Light

True love is not attachment, but the force of the soul's light. The spirit is love, the soul is the light of love. Expansion occurs through this light.

How This Changed Me

After that experience, I stopped being afraid of fear. When it comes, I do not fight it, but accept it as a part of myself. I mentally tell it: "I know you. You are trying to protect me. Thank you. Sit next to me." And the fear subsides, becoming just a quiet companion. This is perhaps the main practical lesson I took from that day in intensive care.

Thank you for your work. I hope my testimony proves useful for research.

Sincerely,

Ruslan

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 00/00/1994

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I separated from the body and observed it from above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Time at that moment stretched like eternity.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience During the experience, vision was three-dimensional and I could see around myself.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Hearing was with a slight echo and as if through a tube.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
Millions of little lights in crystal spheres, trembling like flames, candles in the wind, and from them emanate moans. Some moans are like those of suffering, others are moans of ecstasy, and the ringing of crystal comes from the spheres.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Emotions were completely absent.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
Now I do not believe in priests or their institutions.

What is your religion now? Christian - Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
No answer.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I reconsidered my view on religion. Now I don't go to church, and I feel that there's no need to go anywhere; all answers are inside.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I was a mystical universal wind, holding the Earth in my hands. Before returning to my body, there was a flash or a dream: I was flying through the universe; I was the wind, I was immense, and our Earth, a pearl in the universe, was very small compared to me, like a glowing, golden pea. It emitted the music of crystal vessels and the moans of little lights within them. I took this pearl in my palm, looked inside, and was drawn into it, like a genie into a bottle. Then, there was bright light and cold.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I saw millions of little lights in spheres emitting a golden, fine energy. I saw myself flying through the universe.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
This experience is simply never forgotten.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I often share. Mostly, there is no reaction from the listeners, as if I'm talking into a void.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I am simply sure that it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Nothing has changed. There is no proof, but there is confidence in the reality of what was experienced.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I started having bright dreams, often about the afterlife.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes