Richard G NDE

Experience Description

My experience began with a sudden and complete collapse of my physical body. There was little warning. I felt approximately 30 seconds of "not being in control of my body", which was unique, and I have never experienced it before or after that event. A nurse was taking my blood pressure. I panicked and yelled at her to get a doctor three times, loudly. During this, I knew something was very wrong and I felt the most intense regret and sorrow I have ever experienced. Then my consciousness ended instantly, without any sense of falling asleep, fading, or dreaming. It felt like something inside me “snapped,” and all physical sensation, identity, and awareness disappeared.

The transition was not visual. There was no tunnel, no darkness, and no out-of-body perception. Instead, I became aware of a vast non-physical state made entirely of emotion, recognition, and meaning. The first thing I experienced was what I can only describe as a “Song.” It was not music in the human sense, but a total, overwhelming communication of unconditional acceptance, love, grace, and profound sorrow. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever encountered and far beyond any normal emotional experience. No words were exchanged. I don't know how I was communicated with, but my understanding was instant and complete.

I felt like I was being "cradled" by something, in the way that I was protected from all the negative emotions and physical, mental, and emotional pain that I was experiencing just before I ended. It and I connected at a level I still don't understand. I knew I was safe and wanted. Whatever "cradled" me loved me far beyond my ability to comprehend. I felt true grace for the first time in my life. I was cherished beyond my capacity to understand, and felt completely seen and accepted as I was. I could not fight whatever it was, and did not try. I surrendered to it with humility and gratitude. It expressed joy toward me.

There was no time and no sense of space. I felt no fear at any point.

I understood clearly that I was given a choice: I could stay in that state and dissolve into it entirely, or I could return to my life. It was phrased as the words "come home". They appeared in my head; no words were physically spoken. There was an emotional element to it, unconditional love and grace. Remaining felt expansive, peaceful, and complete. Returning felt small and heavy, but I knew instinctively that I was not finished. There were responsibilities and people I still owed love to. I chose to return. As soon as I made that decision, I felt myself “fall” abruptly back into my body.

The return was jarring. I felt my heart start again; it was an extremely intense experience. The first thing I heard was a doctor saying, “He’s breathing again, put those down,” to a nurse who was approaching me with charged paddles. I was surrounded by a crash team and medical equipment. My senses felt harsh and limited compared to the state I had come from. I was in intense physical pain. I was covered in my own blood and coughing up more of it, both liquid and clotted. All I could hear in my mind was the "song" and it was so beautiful I couldn't stop crying.

The experience permanently changed me. I lost all fear of death. My emotional capacity deepened dramatically, and I developed a strong internal sense of purpose, responsibility, and protection. The memory of the “Song” stayed with me and continues to influence how I understand compassion, connection, and love.

One year later, when someone close to me was dying, I recognized the same threshold I had once crossed. Without planning to, I projected a small part of what I experienced during my NDE — the unconditional love, peace, and sense of safety. She immediately became calmer and relieved. This reopened the emotional depth of my own experience and came at a heavy personal cost, but I would do it again without hesitation.

At the time of my NDE I had no religious beliefs, and I still do not. The experience felt real, direct, and transformative, but not tied to any doctrine or deity. It reshaped my values, my understanding of myself, and my capacity to love. I am a completely different person than I was before it happened. I can recall the overall emotional state, the "song", and what was communicated to me in part to this day. It brings tears to my eyes. I yearn for that connection; occasionally it hurts, a lot. Often it centers me.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: march 2024

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Yes. I was in a hospital after surgery and had an internal haemorrhage, and I bled out. My body suddenly shut down and I lost all physical awareness. There was a complete collapse of function and consciousness. It was not a faint or a dreamlike episode, it was abrupt and absolute. I had no breathing or awareness of my surroundings during this period, and the event met the criteria for clinical death. When I came back, the first thing I heard was the doctor saying to a nurse who was approaching me with charged paddles: 'He’s breathing again, put those down.' I was surrounded by a crash team with a resuscitation cart when consciousness returned.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? The highest level of consciousness occurred immediately after the physical collapse, when I became aware of the 'Song'. My awareness was completely non-physical, expansive, and more vivid than normal waking consciousness.
My awareness during the experience was far greater than in ordinary life. It was completely clear, expansive, and intensely meaningful. Emotion, understanding, and recognition occurred simultaneously. There was no confusion or dreamlike quality — it felt more real than physical reality.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time at all. Emotion, awareness, and understanding occurred simultaneously. There was no before or after, the experience existed outside of time completely.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I had no visual perception during the experience. My awareness did not involve sight.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I had no physical hearing during the experience. The 'Song' I perceived was not sound, but an emotional and meaningful communication. The words 'come home' appeared in my head fully formed, and emotionally loaded.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
I did not see the light visually, but I was fully surrounded by a radiant, loving presence that communicated as clearly as light. It was a non-visual form of light made of acceptance, truth, and emotional clarity.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
It was not a physical place or landscape, but a completely non-physical realm of awareness, emotion, and meaning. It was unmistakably unearthly.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Unconditional love, complete acceptance, profound truth, deep sorrow, awe, gratitude, humility, joy, and a sense of being fully known and cherished without judgment. I felt deep peace, while the presence that cradled me expressed joy toward me. There was no fear at any point.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I did not gain universal knowledge. But I experienced complete clarity about myself — my emotions, my nature, and aspects of myself I had not been aware of, including the protective layer. The understanding was instantaneous and complete.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
Yes. I reached a clear boundary in the form of a choice: remain in the non-physical state and dissolve completely into the love and acceptance I felt, or return to my life. It was not a physical structure, but a definite point of no return.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
There was no physical barrier, but there was a clear point of choice. I understood that if I stayed in that state of complete acceptance and peace, I would not return to my life. Nothing pushed me or sent me back. I made a conscious decision to return because I felt a sense of responsibility toward the people in my life, especially my children. The love and clarity of the experience were overwhelming, but I knew I was not finished with my earthly life. The decision to return was deliberate, and it carried a feeling of purpose, even though no purpose was given to me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic
At the time of the experience I had no religious beliefs. I did not interpret the event through any spiritual framework. My NDE did not feel connected to any deity or doctrine - it was experiential, emotional, and structural rather than religious.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic
My NDE did not convert me to any religion. I still have no religious beliefs, but I have a deeper sense of connection, compassion, and meaning. The experience clarified my values but did not introduce spiritual doctrine.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Before this, I did not believe in any form of afterlife, continued consciousness, or non-physical experience. What occurred was completely outside anything I believed to be possible. Nothing about the experience fit my previous worldview.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Yes. My beliefs about consciousness, death, and the value of life changed profoundly. I no longer fear death, and I now believe that awareness can continue beyond the body. I also became far more compassionate, emotionally open, and grounded in what truly matters. The experience reshaped my sense of purpose and how I relate to others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Communication occurred through emotional and meaningful transmission, not sound. The presence expressed joy, acceptance, and understanding toward me, but it was not a separate being with form or identity.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Yes. During the experience I existed completely without my body, with full awareness and identity. I also understood that if I chose not to return, I would continue in that state. This was a direct awareness, not a belief or interpretation.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Yes. I experienced unconditional love and complete acceptance in a way far beyond human emotion. It conveyed directly that love can be total, nonjudgmental, and all-encompassing. This was not intellectual information but direct experiential knowledge.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
My experience profoundly changed the way I understand consciousness and my place in life. Before the NDE I did not believe that anything continued after death, and I had no spiritual beliefs at all. The experience showed me directly that awareness can exist completely separate from the physical body. While I still do not believe in God or religious concepts, I now believe some form of continued consciousness is real. I no longer fear death. The peace, acceptance, and unconditional love I experienced were far beyond anything in ordinary life, and this removed all existential fear. I also feel less fear in living my daily life. The experience gave me a deeper sense of compassion for others, more patience, and a stronger desire to understand people rather than judge them. My focus in life has shifted toward becoming a better human being — more honest, more present, more connected, and more responsible for my actions. I did not receive a mission or purpose, but I came back with a clearer sense of who I am and how much we matter to one another. The experience remains more vivid than ordinary memory, and it continues to influence my thinking, my emotions, and how I relate to others.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I became more compassionate, more understanding of others, and more emotionally open. I relate to people with more patience and deeper care than I did before the experience. I find it a lot easier to connect with others at a deeper than superficial level.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Everything about the experience was far more 'real' than everyday life — deeper emotions, greater clarity, and a depth of meaning that we don’t have words for. I cannot describe what happened without writing thousands of words, and even then the context would not fully cover it. The 'Song' that I felt is one example: it was overwhelmingly positive, accepting, and more intense than any love I have felt, even toward my children (whom I love dearly). It was instantaneous and complete, and it can unravel a person emotionally in seconds.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
The experience is preserved with extraordinary clarity. The emotional and experiential details are far more vivid and unforgettable than ordinary memories. I recall it with more precision than other events that happened around the same period.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The most meaningful part was the 'Song' — the overwhelming communication of unconditional love, acceptance, and recognition. It was not auditory, but a direct knowing that I was completely seen, understood, and cherished without judgment. The presence that held me expressed joy toward me, and the peace and clarity were far beyond anything I had known in life. The moment I understood that I had a choice to return or remain was also deeply significant.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I try to explain it to others because I feel it's important, but they often don't seem to want to listen for the time it takes to explain it. It's a very in depth experience. My friends say it's changed me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Shortly after it happened, I knew it was real. It had a clarity, intensity, and emotional truth that no dream or hallucination has ever had. It felt more real than waking consciousness. There was no confusion or fading quality — the experience remained vivid and coherent from the very beginning.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I still believe the experience was absolutely real. Its clarity, emotional depth, and the permanent changes it created in me are unlike anything imaginary or neurological. It remains one of the most vivid and meaningful events of my life, and its effects have stayed with me every day since.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Yes. The questionnaire allowed me to describe the emotional and non-visual nature of my experience clearly. Some aspects were difficult to express because the experience was beyond language, but the structure of the questionnaire helped me convey the essential elements.

Anything else to add? The experience felt like the most authentic version of myself was revealed—deeper than personality, trauma, or thought. It changed the trajectory of my life by removing fear, clarifying what matters, and showing me that consciousness is far more expansive than I ever believed. I am grateful for it every day, even though it was overwhelming to process afterward.