Paria Pre-Birth & Birth Experience

Experience Description

Before I was born, I lived in a world filled with light. There was light everywhere, or perhaps a powerful aura of light that made it difficult to see details. The beings who lived there were made of light. They had something resembling bodies, but they were more light than physical form. They came in many colors, including green, blue, pink, and purple. Some were small, while others were large. We recognized one another through sound, color, and feeling. My own essence was yellow, with streaks of green around me, and I was slightly taller than average.

I was with a group of friends, listening as someone spoke. I cannot remember exactly what we were discussing. Perhaps it was something serious about life and its effects, but I am not certain. While we were together, a voice called to me. Something drew me toward it. This being seemed to have more voice and feeling than physical form or color. The sensation was like standing near a heater and feeling its warmth touch your skin. I followed that feeling to discover what it wanted.

I traveled away from my friends until I was alone with the being in a completely white environment. It was both serious and kind, like a close friend. I felt that I knew this being without needing to ask who it was. I think of it as my Guardian.

The Guardian told me, "You have to go to Earth."

I replied, "I don't want to go."

The Guardian said, "You have to go. You have no choice."

I protested, "I can't do that. I know where Earth is and what beings live there. I don't want to live with them."

The Guardian told me to look in another direction. I saw gray beings who appeared to be covered in ash. Their eyes were red and bloodshot, and I could see deep sorrow and regret in their expressions. Pieces of their bodies seemed to melt away like candle wax. Suddenly, one of them collapsed into a pile of ash.

The Guardian warned me, "If you refuse, you will turn to ash. The choice is yours."

One of the gray beings pleaded, "Please, listen. Don't make the same mistake we did. We regret our choice. If we could, we would change it. Please accept."

I was shocked and frightened. I told the Guardian, "All right. Please don't turn me to ash. I'll do whatever you say."

The Guardian asked me to come closer. I stood beside it, feeling the warmth and closeness of our connection. Then I learned that my mission on Earth was to receive love from my parents.

The Guardian told me, "Now you have to choose your parents."

I asked, "What parents?"

The Guardian replied, "You are free to choose whichever ones you want."

In the world of lights, time did not have the meaning it has on Earth. However, to enter physical existence, I had to reach a place where time and space were defined. Choosing my parents meant choosing the circumstances of my earthly life.

I asked the Guardian which parents would be best for me.

The Guardian showed me the first couple and explained that they would provide success, attention, and excellent living conditions. I would have a good future, but they were extremely strict and would not give me the love I wanted.

The father had orange hair, an elongated face, black glasses, a handlebar mustache, and some stubble. He wore a red plaid shirt. The mother wore a black dress and had black hair, arched eyebrows, a round face, and a wheat-colored complexion. They lived somewhere that looked like Canada. Their lives were peaceful, orderly, and carefully planned, even down to the smallest details. However, their family life seemed mechanical, without much affection.

I asked to see another couple.

The Guardian showed me very wealthy parents who would eventually divorce. They would hardly pay attention to me, even though I would be their only child. The mother would suffer emotionally because of her husband's infidelity, while the father would travel frequently and have several lovers. I would have plenty of money but very little affection. The Guardian suggested that I could buy love with their wealth.

The father had blond hair and blue eyes and usually wore a suit. The mother had golden hair, blue-green eyes, and wore a black dress. They lived somewhere in Europe. I saw a life filled with arguments, infidelity, and loneliness. The mother was depressed, and I felt that I would spend my life alone, surrounded by money but without the love I needed. I knew I could not endure that.

I asked to see the next parents.

The Guardian warned me, "These are the worst. The mother is ill-tempered, and the father is always cruel and furious. They use severe physical punishment and have no mercy. There is no love, and you will experience hell in life."

The father was an older man with a large nose, elongated almond-shaped eyes, white hair, a bald head, and a mustache. He had a fair complexion and wore a sleeveless undershirt. The mother was heavyset, with light brown hair, arched eyebrows, brown eyes, a fair complexion, and wrinkles that made her look angry. She wore a chador.

They lived somewhere in the Middle East, in a house that appeared to be in ruins. They already had eight children, none of whom appeared healthy. The mother was approximately twenty years younger than the father.

I immediately said, "Don't even think that I would choose them."

The Guardian laughed and asked, "Very well. So what kind of parents do you want?"

I answered, "Please give me very, very kind parents."

The Guardian searched and showed me another couple, explaining that they were kind but still would not give me all the love I wanted.

I immediately said, "I want these ones!"

The Guardian cautioned me that I would experience hardships and that the affection I received would not be enough. It suggested again that I might be better off choosing wealthy parents who could provide material comfort.

But I insisted, "I understand, but these are the ones I want."

The Guardian accepted my decision. It also showed me that my home would move from one area to another but would remain within a particular region. I acknowledged this, and the Guardian told me to prepare.

Although I had been allowed to choose my parents, I had not been given a choice about coming to Earth. I had been confronted with what felt like a terrifying decision between annihilation and earthly life. In the world of lights, I was already complete, peaceful, and surrounded by the pure love of God. I did not need love in the way humans understand it. But I knew Earth was a difficult place where I would need human kindness to survive. To me, that kindness was like an insulating layer protecting me from the coldness of the human world.

Everything gradually became dim and then completely black. I had deliberately closed my eyes and surrendered to the process. There was no time, no place, and no physical body. I was simply awareness in the darkness.

Then I began moving. It felt as though I were a meteor traveling toward Earth at an unimaginable speed. There was no air or sound, only incredible acceleration. I had become surrounded by blue and yellow light. Somewhere in the vast space between the Sun and Earth, I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful, familiar scene. I could see my own blue and yellow aura as I traveled toward Earth like a meteorite.

I closed my eyes again and trusted the process. When I became aware of my surroundings, I found myself trapped in a narrow, dark passage. I felt as though I were being compressed into matter and gradually separated from the dimensions I had known.

I opened my eyes to determine whether I was inside a physical body. I saw a red mass and became aware of having a body. I realized that I was inside my mother's womb. I had arrived on Earth.

My mother later told me about the difficulties surrounding my birth. Her labor began at approximately 3:00 a.m. when her water broke. She and my father left for the hospital, but the first hospital told them that no obstetrician was available, only a midwife. They traveled to a central hospital, where they were again told that a specialist was unavailable. They eventually returned to the first hospital, where a specialist had finally arrived.

There were also transportation problems. They could not find taxis or buses and had to walk while my mother was in labor. This was especially strange because they lived in a large city where transportation and medical care should have been available. The difficulties continued until approximately 11:00 a.m., when my mother was finally admitted for emergency care.

It seemed to me that everything was conspiring to prevent my birth.

I remember the moment I was born. I opened my eyes in an operating room and saw a large lamp above me. Its brightness was extremely uncomfortable. The room was crowded with doctors and nurses, most of whom were women. I remember seeing only one man, whom I believe was the surgeon's assistant.

The medical staff wore blue-green gowns. Their faces may have been covered, but I remember their eyes vividly. They looked calm and relieved, almost as though they were happy that I had finally been born. I remember their eyes so clearly that I later drew them.

Someone lifted me from my mother's abdomen. I remember being held by a man when the surgeon said, "Press the baby's little toe so the mother feels reassured."

When they pressed my toe, I felt pain throughout my entire body, as though someone had pinched me everywhere at once. I cried out. The sensation was terrible, and I have never forgotten it.

Afterward, I was handed to a nurse. She and another nurse looked at me curiously before carrying me to a sink-like area where they washed me. Nearby was something resembling a water heater and other equipment I did not recognize. They wrapped me in a towel and handed me to another nurse, who carried me into an adjoining room.

I remember that room clearly. It had white walls, a coat rack holding medical coats, and an infant crib. White cabinets lined the room, with large black stone surfaces on top. Straight ahead was an infant scale and other unfamiliar equipment. On the right was a window with purple vertical blinds. Sunlight streamed through the window, although the lights in the room were also on.

I was being held in the nurse's arms, so I could not move freely or see everything. Eventually, I closed my eyes.

Much later in my life, I experienced something else that I believe was connected to my original mission. I felt that my mission of receiving love from my parents had already ended. When the time came for me to leave Earth, I encountered a force that I call the Angel of Death.

I found myself trapped in a dark void between life and death. The force tried to take my life, but I resisted fiercely and would not allow it to take control of my body.

It asked me, "Why won't you come with me? You know what humans are like."

I understood that it was referring to my reluctance to come to Earth before I was born.

I explained that I had a reason to remain here. Although my original mission was complete, I was now staying on Earth by my own choice because I wanted to help people.

The force asked, "How?"

I answered that I wanted to use my abilities to advance science, improve the Earth, and help humanity.

It replied, "Very well, whatever makes you comfortable."

Then it left without saying anything more. I could feel that it was satisfied with my answer.

I have never hated human beings. What I have hated is the harm people cause to one another. I was never disgusted by humanity itself, but by human actions. I chose to remain on Earth not because of what human beings are now, but because of what they have the potential to become.

I love human beings. I love Earth. I love everything God has created.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 11/11/1919

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? -
-

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience -

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience -

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
My friends.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? -

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
Body, when I come to Earth.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment
-

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? No comment
-

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
At the time of the experience, before birth, there were no conditioned earthly beliefs or rigid concepts, as consciousness existed in a state of pure, unconditioned awareness. Therefore, the experience did not confirm or contradict prior human beliefs; rather, it completely transcended them, revealing a reality far vaster and more profound than any concept I would later encounter in the physical world.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
Yes, absolutely. During the experience, there was a profound and unquestionable awareness that I existed long before this lifetime. I did not feel like a newly created being; rather, I felt like an eternal consciousness, an observer, or a spark of the Source that was simply preparing to enter a new mission garment, a body.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
There was no traditional religious concept of God, but an undeniable, overwhelming awareness of a supreme Source or All-That-Is. It was felt not as a separate entity, but as the fundamental fabric of existence, wisdom, and love from which we all emerge.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Yes. I knew everything and needed nothing. I was happy and filled with peace. I lived in the heart of awareness.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Rather than a grand personal lesson for myself, the purpose felt more relational and heart-centered. I had a strong awareness that coming here was partly a gift of love for my parents, to bring that specific frequency of love into their lives and give them the space to experience and express it fully. I was there for my parents.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Yes, they had warned me about my parents. They warned me about the choice I made. But I chose them.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Love was revealed as the core essence and driving force of everything. I had the profound awareness that love is not just something we receive or feel, but a bridge we build between souls. For instance, coming into this life felt like a collaborative act of love, not just for my own growth, but to awaken and expand the capacity for love in those around me, like my parents. I connect them with love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown
-

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
They can never be described in words, for they are not bound by limiting things like language...

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Since this occurred before birth or in early infancy, there are no ordinary earthly life events from that time to compare it to, as early memories are typically forgotten. However, the pre-birth memory itself remains remarkably vivid, clear, and timeless, unlike standard memory traces.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the core realization of pure, unconditional love and the understanding of my existence not merely as a personal journey, but as a conscious mission of love and a spiritual gift to my parents to expand their capacity for love.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I told my mother. She had no reaction and just listened. That al...

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Even if the cognitive framework to fully articulate it came later, the core essence of the experience felt absolutely undeniable, leaving a profound and authentic imprint on my emerging consciousness. (Body)

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
The pre-birth state is undeniable. I cannot forget it... I miss my home...

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
The questionnaire provided a profound and well-structured framework to articulate the core layers of my pre-birth awareness. Thank you for everything.

Anything else to add? Yes. I have thoroughly documented this experience, including visual elements and images that vividly capture the essence of that pre-birth state. I am more than willing to share these visual materials and my comprehensive documentation with the organization to provide a deeper, multi-dimensional view of the experience.