María D NDE

Experience Description

In November 2022, I went to the emergency room at the hospital due to severe gynecological bleeding.

Earlier, while I was in a remote work meeting, I felt heavy bleeding. I couldn't check to confirm if it was an unusual hemorrhage until the meeting was over. But I could tell it was unlike others I had experienced before. I was home alone at the time. Both of my children were at school and my husband was traveling outside of Spain. I called my mother to tell her what was happening and that I was going to the hospital.

I don't usually drive, but I didn't have time to call a taxi or notify any neighbors. So, I drove to the hospital about 10 minutes away. When I arrived, luckily, there was no one in the emergency room. As soon as I entered the triage room, the nurses tried to take blood from me for analysis. After four unsuccessful attempts, I started to feel a strong wave of nausea rising from my stomach. Then, I lost consciousness.

I felt a strong headache, and got fuzzy-headed then everything turned to black; except for thousands of frames that spun very quickly in front of me like a roulette wheel. I felt a lot of pressure in my head, and the frames kept spinning in a circle very fast with many scenes. Little by little, they began to slow down as if the roulette wheel was reducing its speed. I saw everything "from the outside" and without a physical body until the frames slowly stopped in front of me.

Only "three windows" or "three frames" remained. In one of them, I saw from that opening or little window, many people looking out and calling to me. Then I looked at another window or frame and saw prototypes of the work I was doing and had been working on a short while ago. Then I looked through another window or frame and saw a landscape of nature, but with super bright and amplified colors. It was as if the plants had red, purple, and yellow colors that were unusual and unknown in nature. These three screens remained fixed in front of me.

At a certain point, and without knowing why, I chose to enter or focus on the window where people were calling me. I felt the calls amplify and grow until I reached the stretcher where doctors and nurses were asking me to keep breathing.

I felt an infinite cold and a lot of weakness. I heard them say I had hypovolemic shock. From there, they covered me with blankets and waited for me to be revived. The conversation focused more on forcing me into menopause or putting in an IUD, which could help stop my bleeding. I couldn't discuss my unconscious experience with anyone, nor do I know how much time might have passed. Maybe one minute? I don't know.

Later, they called my parents and let my mother in the room to stay with me. When I saw her, I became very sad because she is an elderly person. Just the thought that she had to be there taking care of me after what had happened filled me with desolation and sorrow. I strongly felt that because of her age, I should be the one taking care of her. The following days I was afraid of slipping away from reality again. I found it hard to fall asleep for fear that the darkness and the frames would return. My husband was traveling, and I asked my young sons to sleep with me during that time.

Three years later, I have tried therapy and have told this to different doctors. Yet, I still don't understand any of it. Since then, I have become more sensitive to everything. I perceive people's thoughts, energy, and internal state. Sometimes, I anticipate unimportant events. Being this sensitive is overwhelming that it has caused me to isolate myself a lot. I have told several psychologists about it, but they cannot explain the event. We have focused the therapy on solving my fear of needles, which also remains as a trauma from the experience.

I found your page because I have read a lot about near-death phenomena, but I haven't found anything similar to my experience. I am trying to understand why I chose that frame to see. For what purpose, what were the others, what was that darkness, and I want to learn more about consciousness.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: November 2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Severe hemorrhage

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I would say when the frames stopped and I chose the one of the nurses calling me
a feeling of being outside and being able to choose where to go

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I can't say for sure.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I don't remember hearing it any differently.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
Darkness, emptiness

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pain, emptiness, neutrality, just one decision

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The frames were going by very quickly and I can't be sure, but when they stopped at three, one was from the moment before the hemorrhage, when I was working, but as if I were immersed in the work or it was the work.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
I can't say for sure, but I was somewhere else, outside, disconnected from scenes in front of me that I could connect with.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
non-practitioner

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
non-practitioner

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I have always believed that there is life after death, but I expected a different kind of feeling and experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Consciousness is elsewhere; we are not the body; there is something outside that decides.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown
The need to know and find answers while simultaneously being certain that I cannot find them.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I'm only interested in relationships where I can truly connect, nothing superficial. I find it difficult to be in social settings and socialize.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Being somewhere else and returning here through a strange choice, and explaining the frames, isn't easy. Remembering the darkness and that nothingness isn't easy either.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
The anguish remains.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
I have the feeling that I can read people from the inside, I feel what they feel, etc.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Choosing this frame and not another, and why were three chosen and not others, and WHO AM I REALLY, if this is a computer that chooses experiences…

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared it with family, at work, and with psychologists and NDE experts. Family - no reaction. Work - some colleagues shared their near-death experiences, but there was no response. Psychologists - they have no answer, explanation, or comfort, and we treated the fear of needles as an associated event that triggered the experience. Icloby Foundation - they registered it for further research.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
Reading by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Dr. Moody, specific course on death and altered states of consciousness. It did not affect me.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I remember it perfectly; I saw reality clearly, and I was amazed that the nurses paid no attention or showed no interest.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Everything remains the same in memory and sensations.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
All possible aspects are covered.

Anything else to add? I think that's all.