Lorraine K NDE

Experience Description

I was a young mother of two little girls, one just thirteen months old and the other almost three, when the accident happened. We owned a home in Florida and often escaped there during the winter months. In 1994, my then mother-in-law asked if I would like to take the girls to Florida for a couple of weeks before guests from Hungary arrived for Christmas. I was delighted. The thought of playing on the beach and swimming in the ocean with my babies filled me with joy.

We had a wonderful two weeks. The drive home was uneventful until we reached I-95 in West Virginia. It was just after 8:00 a.m. The sun was bright and beautiful, and I whispered a prayer of gratitude for the sunshine. What I didn’t know was that construction was ongoing on that stretch of highway and had already claimed four lives before it would take another in our tragedy. There were no signs, no warnings that the northbound lane had been turned into a southbound lane and that the entire southbound highway was closed.

I moved into what I believed was the passing lane to get out of the way of a tractor-trailer, only to see cars coming straight toward me. I swerved and lost control. Our cars collided head-on, impacting the driver’s side. I saw her face, her eyes, in slow motion, as our vehicles were set on a collision path that would alter my life forever.

Both cars lifted off the ground. Ours landed with an explosion. The battery flew into the backseat and glass burst like confetti. When we landed, I couldn’t breathe. I was winded. I tried to collect my thoughts, to speak, to think. As I tried to ask if everyone was okay, I felt jagged bone in my mouth where my teeth had once been. Blood poured from my mouth.

My babies.

I was trapped in the wreckage for nearly two hours while rescue workers led my children and mother-in-law to safety. They used the jaws of life to remove the metal and debris pinning me inside the car. Finally, they decided to cut the roof off and lift me out. It was then that my breathing became shallow. I had heard that another person had died, and I had a knowing that I too would succumb to the same fate.

At the time of the accident, I was a born-again Christian. My husband and I were deeply involved in our small community church. As I lay in the wreckage, believing I was dying, my thoughts turned to where I would go after death. I thought of sermons about heaven and scripture that says angels rejoice when a soul arrives.

I felt no pain, only cold and numbness. As I struggled to breathe, I remember wanting it to be over. I found comfort in the thought of angels celebrating my arrival. Then suddenly, like the hissing sound of the radiator, a voice slithered into my mind: “There is no God. You are going to the ground, and maggots are going to eat your body.”

Fear consumed me. With everything left in me, I cried out, “God, if you are there and you are real, please help me.”

It took me months to find words for what happened next. This part was the hardest to explain. It was as if I were a peanut being cracked open, the shell split cleanly in half, but not to be discarded. God was breaking my shell to reach my true self, my soul.

All I saw was brilliant white light. Then I noticed the form of a long white gown, flowing yet solid. A deeper color emerged and formed into a hand. A voice said, “Take my hand, and I will show you heaven.”

As I reached for the hand, I was lifted out of my body. I heard a rushing sound, like air flying past me. I looked back and saw the long lineups on the highway, the rescue vehicles, the two cars. I saw a man standing over my body and, nearby, the other car flipped over. The voice told me not to look back.

As I looked forward, it felt like moving through space. We flew past stars and color. Then we slowed, and my focus became God. We weren’t communicating with words. Our souls simply knew. It was complete awareness, total consciousness.

I didn’t have language for what happened next at the time, but I know now it was a life review. I saw moments where I had made poor choices. There was no judgment, no shame. Each time I saw where I had gone off course, I felt deep sadness, not because I had failed, but because I had missed opportunities to make life count.

Each time I expressed sorrow, I was immediately flooded with unconditional love and reassurance of belonging beyond anything I had ever imagined. If that level of love were fully experienced on earth, I truly believe we would explode.

I spent over a week in the trauma center before being flown home. When I arrived, I was critically ill and required blood transfusions. My family was called and told to come, as I was not doing well. My father and husband flew to West Virginia. My father drove my children and mother-in-law home while my husband stayed with me. I was deeply grateful for my family’s support.

In total, I have had sixty surgeries. My femur was shattered into fifty-four pieces. Doctors told me I would likely never walk unassisted again. My foot was mangled, my face reconstructed. I lost my front five teeth, including the bone. My pelvis was crushed. In those early days, my zest for life was often nonexistent.

What carried me through were nightly visits from the other side. One night, I awoke to the most beautiful choir of angels singing over me. I lay there, basking in their healing love.

My life has not been easy. Carrying the knowledge that another human being lost their life in that accident was excruciating and required years of therapy and healing. Today, my life is full. I am blessed beyond belief. I have three beautiful grown daughters and a rich career as an educator, with only one year until retirement.

I am not religious today. I believe there is a place for religion, but I consider myself spiritual. For a long time, I lived between two worlds, each as real as the other. I was reassured many times that God was holding my hand and would not let go. Thirty-one years later, I am still holding God’s hand and trusting completely.

In the chaotic world we live in, my story is my anchor. It grounds me and assures me there is no death. When we have run our race and crossed our finish line, we simply open our eyes and discover we are home. Fear pulls our focus away from truth, but fear is something we create in our own minds. When we release it and take God’s hand, that is where peace and truth are found.

Thank you for holding space for my story.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 12/23/1994

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I had a head-on collision on the highway. Both cars went airborne, and the other driver died in the collision.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
The first thing I noticed was the voice that said there was no God. That was an external voice, and it seems like it was the beginning of my experience of leaving my body.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I was completely conscious until my breathing became a challenge and then I died. I am not sure how long I was gone, but I was told I would have been delivered dead to the trauma center had they not given me blood. I remember lying on the metal gurney and hearing the doctor yelling that they don't even know my religion, and asking who authorized giving blood. I remember a great deal except when I left my body in the car.
I was hyper-aware while in the car. I heard every sound; it was like my hearing was perfect. I was also carrying on an inner conversation which wasn't difficult to do.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time. It wasn't even a consideration.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience It just felt like I was really present and in tune with everything that was happening.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Nothing different stands out other than I could hear everything clearly.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
When we first began to ascend, I could see below me, including the cars and rescue workers. When I was told not to look back, we entered a different atmosphere. I cannot even say it was up. I had a sensation of flying at a fast speed. Then we stopped, and I had the life review. Then we went through a narrow tunnel; it was a little more grey and reminded me of traveling through space.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
It was the first thing I saw after calling out. There was a brilliant white light. I mean brilliant! It didn't hurt my eyes to look up at it like the sun would, but the depth of the light was all-encompassing. The light filled my entire being and lifted me out of my body.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
We were in a different realm for sure! I have no idea where and am not even sure of the direction.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Right before my experience I was full of fear at the thought of there being nothing beyond life. I was fighting the urge to think about maggots eating my body when I cried out for help. I was terrified. Then when my body opened, I was relieved and elated.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Protestant
I was born into a non-practicing Catholic family. At the age of 18 I had a born again experience and accepted Jesus into my life. At the time of the accident I was a born again Christian. I lost my faith in the car and left organized religion shortly after that.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I do not believe others have the right to tell you what to believe. It is between you and God. Period.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
Today I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I now know that we are not our bodies, we are soul beings. There were lots of times I wanted to believe there was nothing after death. I can never do that again though. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a divine creator who has a purpose for our lives. I do not go to church. I pray, meditate, and live by the decree that whenever I have an encounter with someone, I want to leave them better off than before they met me. We can all do that by leading with love.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I lived my life according to the Bible. Heaven had streets of gold. God looked a lot different than I imagined. God is not a harsh judge in the sky waiting for you to do something bad. Death doesn't exist; we simply wake up, so I have no fear around dying anymore. I used to be afraid of death.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
How I view God and who we are as human beings has changed completely. I also do not go to church anymore. I didn't lose my faith; it just changed greatly after the accident.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
God spoke both in words and later in spirit to me.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
At one point, we stopped and the question was asked, 'Are you tired? Do you want to come home or continue?' Out from the side of the brilliant white gown came a photograph of my then husband and my two little girls. It wasn't a picture I had of them, but it served to help me recognize them as I had forgotten all about my life on earth. As I looked into the photograph, I realized my little girls needed me to be with them. I then chose to return.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
When God asked if I wanted to come home, I am thinking that there is a oneness there. I just didn't get far enough because I chose to go back when I saw the picture of my children.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
I believe it was God who rescued me from the car. It was God who led me the entire time.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
I now know with absolute certainty that there is a God and there is an afterlife. To this day, I still feel I live between the two worlds. I connect easily to the other side now and ever since my accident.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I was asked if I wanted to come home or go back.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Everything is about love! My daughters tease me, saying I am a hippie. The truth is I am aware that what we are required to do to be successful in this lifetime is to lead with love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I divorced my husband, and my parents and brother have passed away. I wrote a book called A Gift in the Wreckage telling my story. My faith is totally different today than it was before the accident.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
My marriage couldn't stand the pressure. My husband kept telling me I changed and he wanted his wife back.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
As I stated, it took me months to find words. I kept grappling and saying, "No, not like that." There are no words here on earth to explain the experience because we don't have them here.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I keep finding words to unfold or continue to make sense of my experience. As I said, words are so limited when we are talking about something of this magnitude.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I am a Reiki master and am highly intuitive. I receive messages from other souls and people's spirit guides during sessions. I have a very strong empathic trait now that I never had before. I feel others' energy simply by looking at them.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I was told by God I would share in churches and schools. At the time I was a stay-at-home mother. I went on to become a teacher and shared my story in many schools. I have also shared in several churches. Now that my book is out, I feel I will start sharing it more often.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
God never left me after the accident. When I was awake and conscious, I would have experiences with the heavenly realm.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
It has transformed me and who I am today. It was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes