Leslie K SDE

Experience Description

My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for almost a year. Specialists had not yet diagnosed me with what is now known as polyendocrine metabolic syndrome. This condition can increase the chance of miscarriage and make it more difficult to conceive. We were thrilled when we finally became pregnant. I scheduled an appointment with my obstetrician and shared the news with a few close family and friends.

I had a disturbing dream shortly after the pregnancy was confirmed. In this dream, I found myself in the living room of a childhood friend's home. I looked over to the recliner facing the television and saw a beautiful young girl lying in the chair. She appeared to be around ten years old. She had blonde hair, green eyes, and thick glasses. Yet her body lacked tone, and her limbs were malformed. She was wearing one of my favorite outfits at the time, a green shirt and skirt set.

I realized immediately this little girl had been conceived by my husband and me. I believe this was why she was wearing my clothes, to confirm she was part of us. I had no doubt she was the baby currently growing in my womb. Time had no meaning in the dream, so I didn't question why a fetus at six weeks presented as a young girl. I desperately wanted to pick her up and heal her brokenness. I wondered about calling 911 or getting her to a specialist.

Our daughter seemed to read my panicked mind. Her words pierced my heart: 'You can't save me, Mommy.' She then disappeared before my eyes. I woke up sobbing, knowing I was going to miscarry. My husband tried to reassure me and tell me it was just a dream. I told him this dream felt different, more lucid. I began bleeding heavily 24 hours later and lost the pregnancy.

My reproductive health issues were identified and addressed. My husband and I went on to have two healthy children, including a daughter whose face and voice around age ten sounded very similar to the daughter we lost. It's my belief our daughter with the deformed body was letting me know why she couldn't sustain life and reassuring me there was nothing I could have done differently to help her survive. She may have chosen my childhood friend's home to clue me in on her age by relating it to the approximate age range I was closest to this friend, ages ten to twelve.

This dream solidified my faith in the afterlife and reinforced my view on when the soul enters the body. The loss I felt motivated me to find my biological mother, thank her for the sacrifice of giving me up for adoption, and then maintain a relationship with her for the remainder of her life.

I'm grateful to my daughter in heaven for gifting me with understanding to help me heal after losing her and appreciate the blessing of a healthy body. I don't take health for granted now.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 05/00/2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body
I believe my body began the miscarriage during the dream.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When trying to save our daughter in the dream
My mind was clearer and could perceive everything happening in the dream all at once.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
All events seemed to happen at once, though I can somehow list the sequence of actions and communications linearly.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience 20/20 vision, the same as usual

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience The dream was silent except for the telepathic communication between our daughter and me. The words I heard were clear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
Our daughter, who told me I could not save her.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
While the setting was a familiar living room from my childhood, it appeared as a prop of sorts in a different realm. I could tell I was with our daughter on a different plane of existence.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Grief, helplessness, desperation

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did scenes from the future come? Yes, I understood I would miscarry. Our daughter's appearance was similar to that of our healthy daughter many years later, at around the age of 10. I could not have predicted her appearance.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
I could not cross into the realm where our daughter disappeared. It was communicated that she would leave the dream and that I would wake up and miscarry.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I could not save our daughter or follow her into a different realm.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic
Practicing Catholic with openness to other religions and spiritual teachings

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I support the idea of life beginning at conception more vocally, but without judgment or pushiness to have others align with this belief.

What is your religion now? Christian - Catholic
Practicing Catholic with openness to other religions and spiritual teachings

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
While I appreciated the miracle of life formation, I took it for granted. The dream strengthened my faith in souls beyond this realm or plane of existence.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I support the sanctity of life without judging those who believe differently. I share my experience with others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
The confirmation that other realms exist reinforced that universal connection. The oneness I felt with our daughter was profound in that realm.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
While there wasn't mention of God, there were different realms. I could not save our daughter or accompany her to another realm due to invisible boundaries or reasons beyond my understanding. I was not calling the shots in this realm. It was implied through our daughter's words and actions that a higher being was the ultimate decision maker.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I knew our daughter would not develop and be born. I recalled what she looked like and was amazed at the similarities to the daughter we had years later. We are to cherish life and understand that sometimes circumstances are beyond our control to hold onto life.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Our daughter's love brought meaning and understanding to our earthly life.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Our daughter implied she couldn't stay in human form with us, but would be elsewhere.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
All life has a purpose and is sacred. We may not fully understand the purpose, but this is where faith comes into play.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Pain and loss are part of life but do not signify the end of existence. There is greater purpose in this loss, though it may not be recognized for years. My purpose was greater appreciation of being given up for adoption and gratitude for health.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Our daughter's love was conveyed through her reassurance that I could not have saved her and by allowing me to understand why she could not survive in a human body. My love was conveyed in thinking I would give anything to save her.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
I became more compassionate to those who had lost a child or loved one. I reunited with my biological mother. I modified my career to stay at home part time with our kids and get to know my biological mother better, and to care for my adoptive dad when his cancer progressed. My adoptive mom had passed away.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I reunited with my biological mother and family. I am much more understanding of how profound loss can shape someone physically and emotionally.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Time was not linear, though I can describe the sequence of events in a linear way. Everything seemed to unfold simultaneously.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember the event as if it just happened. There is no foggy memory, just clarity.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I have had two ADCs published in ADCRF, and I have increased intuition about upcoming events and those getting ready to reach out to me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. Our daughter loved me enough to let me know why she could not stay. She helped me understand her demise. I know this was a real experience, as she looks and sounds much like our healthy daughter.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared it with my husband after I woke up. I shared it with family, friends, and even a few colleagues.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I believed it was real, with no uncertainty.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
The uncanny similarities between our healthy daughter and our daughter in the dream were objective evidence, as was the unfortunate loss. I have no uncertainty to this day.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
These were complete questions.

Anything else to add? It changed my view of this realm forever. This is but one of many stages in every sense of the word.