Laura K Probable NDE

Experience Description

I lay down slowly into the scarf and let my weight tighten the loop. It was warm and soft, there was pressure in my head. Then I was in a darkness or a void with no discernible boundaries. There was no weight, nor any sense of up or down. Everything was the same. I had the feeling of seeking orientation. And then came the question, "Where are you?" The question arose within me, but it was not I who was asking it; yet it was me. It was as if the me that is not me within me was asking this question. But it also wasn't a real question; it was question and hint all in one.

That was the end of it. My ex-partner cut through the scarf.

Before the birth of my first daughter in 2018, I had a similar impulse during a meditation. It was like the one from the sentence, "Where are you?" The sentence came, " I die at my birth?" Meaning that I die and am born simultaneously. A part of me dies and is born in my daughter. I do not know if that makes sense to anyone. For me, there is a connection to this. That is why I am describing it here as well.

The darkness was calm and peaceful. I had no fear and have none to this day. I believe that everything is one.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 00/00/2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I strangled myself—hung myself with a scarf on my canopy bed—not as a plan to kill myself. It was an impulsive act after seeking peace and due to emotional overload—a fight with my partner that felt existential because of my family history.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Right before the question 'where are you?' arose.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience It was dark.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience There were no sounds.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
Boundless, held darkness

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Wonder.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I had the feeling of being united with everything.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Atheist
I believe in energy.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Nothing in particular - Secular unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I do not understand the question. I think I already believed in energy back then—something that does not end—but not in a life as we know it. It is everything. It is the parts within us, the planets in the universe, our feelings, everything. The certainty about this became clear.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
All people are equal, and I am important too.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Not heard, but felt within me

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
A feeling that everything existed and always will exist.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Everything is and was one, and will be one.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
Life is something different, it's more than just our own.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I learned to appreciate it.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
They have become more stable and genuine. I need truth from others. If I sense a disagreement, I want to clear it up and not let it fester.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Clarity of connections and emotions

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember this experience precisely, but I remember less about what happened in the days before, and even less about how the days after were.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
The feeling of being able to sense and understand others.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I believe the first time I spoke about it was after five years. It was received neutrally. Two years ago, I spoke with my husband and father about it. My father spoke of having a great fear of death, and I told him about my experiences.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
It was simply there, just as I was back in my life. It was simply a part of it. However, I didn't really contemplate it. It rather accompanied me as a feeling.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Because I keep thinking about this feeling and the connections keep becoming visible, or clear to me. I often still doubt my assessment, although my feeling is frequently confirmed. I sense things early—sometimes before the affected people feel them or become aware.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
A meditation during my pregnancy with my first daughter. The same deep feeling of dark calm, and the sentence: 'I die during my birth.'

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes

Anything else to add? A part of me died during the birth of my daughter—I changed. I recognize parts of my traits in my daughter.