Kristi L STE

Experience Description

I was fifteen years old. My mother worked nights, and my younger sister was having a birthday party. I do not even remember my mother preparing for the party because I was extremely sick. I had such a high fever that I could not move.

I was lying in my mother’s bed with the bedroom door closed. I do not remember being taken into her room or going there on my own. I assume I was told to stay there because of my sister’s party.

I remember lying with my eyes closed because I felt too sick to open them. I had a terrible fever, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Then, while I was sleeping, I heard people calling my name.

I opened my eyes, and everything was pitch black. I kept trying to see, and then I noticed a soft light. It felt as though I were standing on one black spot while another black spot was far away. The distant spot gradually became illuminated by a glowing light. It looked like a light at the end of a tunnel, although that sounds very corny.

There were people on the other black spot. At first, I could not see them. Then I began to see their silhouettes, but I could not make out any faces or bodies. They appeared only as shadowy figures.

The people were calling me, and I suddenly felt very good. I was relieved and felt so much better. I began trying to move toward their spot. All of a sudden, their voices became much louder. They were almost yelling at me, “No! Go back! Go back!”

I was very confused. Then I woke up. My fever had broken, and I was no longer sick. I was sweaty and thirsty, but I felt better. It was unbelievable.

The experience was one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me, and I remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday. This was the second unexplainable event of my life. The first did not involve death. It involved God.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 02/26/1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When they told me, 'No, go back.'

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience The vision was weird. It was just darkness, two black spots, but they weren't spots. Just black, black all around, and then the light and the shadow figures.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I am almost completely deaf. I have been this way since I was around 5 or 6 years old. I heard everything fine.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I don't know who they were, but I felt safe.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The light on the other black spot glowed, like the other black spot was lit up, but mine was not.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
Black, two black spots, and black all around us, and then one was lit up.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I don't know if you would call it happiness. I was calm, almost relieved. Then confused.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
I don't know if it was a boundary. I was heading to the other spot, but I was told 'No.'

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
It's not the best description. Maybe I was not permitted. I feel like they were telling me it was not my time.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Other Christian
I was raised Baptist. I am a Christian, and I believe in God!

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
Before this happened, I always wondered about angels. I don't wonder anymore.

What is your religion now? Christian - Other Christian
I am a Christian. I do not go to church. I do pray every morning.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I believe they were angels and God sent them. Why me? I have no idea. I am not special; I was very rough. But for some reason they thought I was special, which means God did also.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
When you're growing up, you 'wonder' if there's an afterlife, if your grandparents are with you. Now I believe they are, and others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
It was several voices/people, all at once, saying, 'No, go back.'

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
There is no specific information, just the way I felt.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
Again, no specific information, but I definitely believe they were angels and God sent them.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain
I felt like they were telling me it was not my time.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain
I did not receive a meaning, just that it was not my time to die and I have a purpose.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
I truly believe they were angels, but I have no specific information, just what I saw.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain
I felt loved, no specific information.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
I can express what happened, but it does not make sense to anyone else.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember this experience like it was yesterday. I could not tell you much else about my life at that time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Love. I felt loved, like I mattered.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
The next day, I told my mom and sister. I don't think anyone has ever believed me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I still see the experience in my head.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I believe what I experienced was the afterlife, or at least the beginning of it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Yes, to the best of my knowledge.

Anything else to add? Years before this happened, we lived down the block from our church. I was so rough, boy bike, boy clothes. But I did believe in God. I was riding my bike down a sugar sand road beside the church to play with the preacher's son. It was so hard to ride my bike through this. I said, 'God, please help me.' My bike was literally picked up, with me on it, and put in the grass beside the dirt road. It scared me so bad, I jumped off, looked behind the trees, and yelled, 'Who's there?' There was no one there. It was God. I cried out and he helped me. This is something else I don't believe anyone believes happened, but it truly did!