Keely S NDE

Experience Description

I felt myself reach out and touch a place of light, of love, of deep relaxation. I felt an otherworldly presence tell me that my agony over being bisexual in a Christian household meant nothing at all, that love was the ultimate purpose in life. I found such relief, such joy in experiencing a moment of communion with this presence. I knew then, with everything in my heart, that we are to love each other with everything in our bodies, that religion in the secular sense is practically silly as long as you treat others with kindness, care, and understanding. For a moment I felt the web that connects every single person in life, and I was told we should treat each other with compassion even if we don't understand each other because we are all unique parts of the universe experiencing itself. What a beautiful thing. When I regained consciousness, I felt a relief I had never known before.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 2008

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain
very heavily ill and was told to redact my college transcript because I had been so sick there was no way I could have passed my classes under those circumstances. sure enough, I did not pass and had to retake all those classes. during this time i passed out at one point and woke hours later, so sick that i had to seek medical attention. I believe I almost died during that time and was kept here because I still had things to do.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? After I went unconscious.
I felt as though I was connected to the world in a way I had never known before.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Vision had no meaning because what I sensed and felt were things that have no comparison to normal life.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I felt these words more clearly than in real life, because in real life i have terrible hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
I was part of the universe itself, one point in the web of humanity itself.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Relief and connection beyond what I had felt before.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I have freed myself from the very strict Christian upbringing, and I have no regrets.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I felt as though religion itself does not matter, as long as we respect the world around us, and try to put more good and love into the world than bad. How we treat others is far more important than whatever god we worship, because every religion focuses on such tiny aspects of what God really is. How can any one religion claim to know what an infinite being really is?

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I mostly left my religion behind, and I feel so free now. I love God and the Universe, but I do not have those weights around my neck any longer. It took me quite some time to free myself from the burdens of religion, but I haven't looked back.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
It was as though I connected with God, or a being that is like a god, or perhaps the universal consciousness that is the universe itself.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I did feel like I arose out of the universe just like everyone else does. We are part of the fabric of the cosmos and our intelligence and existence is part of this experience? It's very hard to describe.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
We are all part of the same universe, and are all connected on a level I have yet to fully comprehend. Our kindness to each other is what truly matters, because while we are individuals, we are all part of this universe. What good we put into the world is a goodness that will continue on and make the universe a better place. Love continues.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
God exists, though it seems as though he is the universe or god contains the universe as part of himself.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain
I have no idea if the thought of universal kindness is considered a new idea, but it's in the bible and the only part that truly matters. God is made of love, and the universe is that love made manifest, I think.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
We will return to the universe itself, or perhaps continue in another life if we choose. There seemed to be options.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
The chaos of the universe means that bad things will happen no matter what, but it's our response to these bad things that truly matters.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Every person's uniqueness should be loved. Our unkindnesses to each other can be forgiven, and even our reluctance to forgive is understood. But love is the ultimate form of god, of life, of what we should become. Everyone makes mistakes, but we are loved more than most people will ever understand. God, or the universe, loves us with the whole power of everything, and we will feel that love when we make our final departure. It still makes me so emotional, that knowledge.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I used to be so strict in my religious life, and now I understand that religion itself is not what matters. What matters is compassion and love. I believe in trying to understand each other, even those we do not agree with or people we may not like at all. Can we put more good into the world? Pretending to care is just as bad as doing nothing at all if we do not act with love.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I try to be a better, kinder person to everyone around me. I want to spread as much love and good as I can, to help as many people as I can. Sometimes, tough times mean you can't do much at all, but doing your best in those times means far more than the best you can do in times of plenty.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I was so sick that I barely remember the events that happened that semester of college, but I remember this very well.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being told that these things that religious people hyper-focus on, like gender or sexuality or immigration, are just silly and ridiculous, that freed me. I was so weighed down by all these religious fixations, and now I know that they are just silly. Meaningless. We are love. We are the universe given life and choice and meaning. We should explore this with wonder and love in our hearts. Life is a miracle of the universe. Every person on this earth is a wonder.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I have never told anyone the full picture, but I have told people of my new beliefs. People react differently. My dad thought it was nice, and good, but he has clung to his religion for far too long and made it such a big part of his identity that he will never leave it, and that's fine because he does believe in putting good into the world. I cannot force people to understand, and that's fine. Everyone has their own journey, and all I can do is help in any way I can.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
I knew that NDEs existed, if that's what the question was about. I did not know how sick I really was at the moment, though. After I woke up, I sought medical attention and that's when I realized how close I might have been at the time. Before, I thought it was a really special dream.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
At first I thought it was a really important dream given to me by God. I am not sure how close I came to death, but I do believe something very critical happened after I recovered.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I know what I experienced was real. It's just such a small fraction of what the universe is, just a moment of truth given to me by God, or the universe. To show me what is and is not real, and to guide me in the future.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
I've tried weed since then, but even my heaviest trips cannot reproduce the sensation, though sometimes they feel almost like they can touch the tiniest fraction of it. Of love and wonder.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain
It's such an intense, unique situation that I honestly have no ideas about what else you could ask.