Joseph E NDE

Experience Description

I took my two friends, Retha and Kyle, to my family's property so we could float down the river. At the end is a man-made rock dam downstream where the road would line up.

We floated down the river and were having a good time. At one point, Retha popped her inner tube on a fishing hook when we stopped on the embankment to smoke a cigarette. She sat on her boyfriend Kyle's lap, but they got into a stupid fight. He complained that he couldn't see where he was going, that she wasn't helping, and that it was too difficult.

Kyle went to the embankment, Retha got up, and they continued arguing. We stayed on the embankment side of the river the whole time where it was safe, but eventually we would have to cross the river to get to the boat launch area on my family's land. We were on the safe side of the river, and the other side was where our family property was.

Kyle got on his inner tube and started floating back toward the car, leaving Retha on the safe side. I told her I would swim her back across and that she could use my inner tube. I had swum the river before, but never at that location and never while towing someone on an inner tube.

I told her we would need to walk about 200 yards upstream from the rock dam because I wanted more room than Kyle had used; especially since I would be helping her cross. She told me she was afraid of deep water and started to panic. That was why I offered to swim her across and give her my inner tube, so she would not have to panic.

We walked upstream and she sat on the inner tube while I started swimming her across. About halfway across, the current became much stronger. I noticed we were being pulled downstream much faster than I wanted, and she was not helping at all. She was just sitting there. Since she had already told me she was terrified of deep water, I swam harder.

When we were about 25 feet from the embankment, I realized we were caught in a current that was pulling us away from shore. This was where the river narrowed and the current sped up. It was exactly where I did not want us to be. We had already missed the boat launch area, and I was exhausted.

Because I had invited them onto my family's property, I felt responsible for making sure they were both okay. I told Retha, "I need to catch my breath, but I'll be right behind you. I want you to kick off of me to give yourself a boost toward the embankment, and I'll push you at the same time." I told her not to worry because I would be right behind her.

She did it. I drifted back a little, but she only moved a few feet. I thought it would work much better than it did.

At that point, it was taking everything I had just to keep my head above water. Then I noticed a branch sticking up out of the water. I swam over to it toward the dam; thinking I could catch my breath and then swim the rest of the way.

I put my feet on a lower branch and pulled my body out of the water while holding onto an upper branch. By pulling myself up, I put too much weight on the lower branch and it snapped. When it broke, I panicked. My arm jerked and I snapped off the branch I was holding onto. The remaining branch was too far underwater to help me.

I had reached the point where every time I exhaled, I sank. It did not matter how little air I breathed out. I was sinking, and it was becoming difficult just to keep my chin above the water.

I thought, "I need to catch my breath and slow my heart down." I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs. I thought, that if there is a tree here, then the river bottom can't be that far away. I'll go down, push off the bottom, shoot back to the surface, and finally get a good breath of air. I had not had a good breath since I was in the middle of the river because I did not want Retha to panic.

I went down to the bottom of the river and tried to kick off the ground, but my legs would not work anymore. I was paralyzed from the waist down.

I swam upward as hard as I could and broke the surface. I looked over and saw Retha crawling onto the embankment on all fours. I thought, "Good. I'm glad she made it."

Then I realized something. If I could not make it with my legs, I was not going to make it without them.

I am not proud of this part, but when I realized that, I gave up. I stopped fighting for my life. I pushed myself downward, accepting that I was done.

As I was giving up, Retha looked back and looked me right in the eyes. I did not want her to see me giving up. I did not want her to live with that image. Right after I thought that, I blacked out underwater.

The next thing I knew, I was in hell.

My first reaction was anger. I thought, "Why am I here? I saved someone else's life at the cost of my own. That should be like a get-out-of-jail-free card or something."

The moment I thought that, my mind was flooded with every bad thing I had ever done. It was as if I was being shown, "No. This is why you are here." I understood that wrong is wrong and sin is sin. Nothing had greater value than anything else.

For example, stealing a pack of gum worth 25 cents compared to hurting the people you love because of alcohol. Both deeds carried the same truth: I had sinned.

I was petrified, literally petrified and too scared to move. I have never experienced fear like that before or since.

Hell looked like a lava tube. It was a cave with walls, floors, and ceilings glowing like embers, shifting from red to orange. The glow illuminated everything and allowed me to see how vast hell was. It looked endless.

Time stood still there.

I had enough time to reflect on my life. I felt horrible for the things I had done to other people. I did not realize I was as bad as I was being shown. I felt small. All I wanted to do was apologize for everything I had ever done wrong and beg for forgiveness.

After being shown everything, I knew I would never forgive myself for the things I had done. Still, I begged for a second chance. I said, "I don't care what I have to do. I'll do whatever it takes." Right then, I started coughing up water on the embankment.

I sat up, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The plants all had their own auras. Every plant, vine, and even the bark on the trees glowed with a fluorescent light. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life.

Kyle and Retha hugged me tightly and cried.

Retha told me, "Thank you for telling me everything so calmly so I wouldn't panic, even though you knew how dangerous it was."

I felt it was my responsibility to make sure they were okay. Kyle had already gone back toward the car, so I still do not know exactly what happened. Somehow he got into the river and pulled me out. Kyle is 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighs about 145 pounds. I am 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighed about 220 pounds at the time. He somehow pulled my dead weight out of the river while fighting the current.

When I gave up, I was less than 100 yards from being swept over the rock dam. If I had to guess, I would say maybe 75 yards or even less. I have no idea how he managed to pull me out. I do not think I regained full feeling in my legs for at least 30 minutes afterward.

After that experience, I began a relationship with the Lord and thank Him for saving me; even though I was a sinful person then, and still am now. I thought one of the reasons I was brought back was to tell others that there is a hell, because I saw it. I do not want anyone to go there. Because of what happened to me, I have a hard time talking about it. I know I will start shaking and my voice will tremble. But I feel I have to warn others. This was not a hallucination. I had full mental clarity.

I have read accounts here where people only experienced darkness. Ironically, that sometimes leads them to believe there is nothing after death. But they are not aware that they still had consciousness somewhere, even in the darkness. It just might not have been their final destination.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 08/23/2010

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain
Yes, I was with my two friends. They were saying they got into a fight; he left her on the wrong side of the river since her inner tube popped. She said she's terrified of deep water and she was feeling ok with the inner tube and being there safe, I guess, but was starting to panic because of them fighting and her being left on that side with no inner tube. We are at the man-made rock dam in Live Oak, CA. I told her she could use mine, I would swim her across. We ended up getting stuck in the current and being pulled

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? The part when my adrenaline kicked in from fear of us both drowning or getting swept over the rock dam
I think due to adrenaline, it made me hyper focus and be able to think much faster about the situation for ways out. When I was left with no options after breaking branches and my legs stopped working, I finally had acceptance in what was going to happen, and my adrenaline died down, and that's when I blacked out under water

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time slowed down so much that it didn't really have meaning because what felt like hours was only minutes when I came to coughing up water

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My vision didn't change until I was coughing up water on the embankment; that's when I saw the auras of plant life

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My hearing didn't change at all

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
I'm not sure if where I was is considered a tunnel or not. It looks like a lava tube, a big hollowed out spot that looked like it was just made for you, and there were embers so you can still see all the way down, and it looked like it never ended

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was in hell

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt anger, then petrified, literally petrified, too scared to move in a cave that's embering, then guilt

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
When I found myself in hell, I was mad because I saved someone else's life, and God reassured me, 'This is where you belong,' by flashing before my eyes everything bad I had ever done

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic
I was brought up Christian. I learned a little heart and there sitting with my grandma early in the morning around 4 or 5 am watching Shepard network channel that went on until I was 6 because that's when I started school all day

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I wanted to get to know our Creator, so I read the King James Bible, and Jesus said He is the way, the truth, and the life; no one gets to the Father but through me

What is your religion now? Christian - Other Christian
I don't know what specific Christian group I belong in. I read the King James Bible and I believe what's in there is the inspired word of God and His promises to mankind that we are still under the law; Jesus fulfilled it, He didn't come to abolish it.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I thought demons would be torturing us, instead it was my own guilt for the things I had done wrong, and I wanted to apologize for everything and couldn't, and I knew I would never forgive myself for the things I have done

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I was now sure there is an afterlife, a God, and a Satan

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
When I first was at hell, I was mad I was there, and I believe it was God who flooded my mind with every bad thing I had ever done to reassure me, basically saying, 'No, this is why you are here.'

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
When I was in hell, I thought I should get a get out of jail free card for saving another person's life. I was instantly reminded why I was sent there, as if this was God's way to speak to me so I would understand

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I was in hell for mine. For the people that just see darkness, only darkness, they still have consciousness because they are aware of the darkness

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
That sin is sin, that not one bad thing is worse than another. If you did wrong, you did wrong, plain and simple. Same goes for good; you could donate a million dollars and someone else can donate $5, and they will have equal value, as in it was a good deed

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
Some things are, I hope people understand what I'm trying to say

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember it so well because of how traumatic it was to me.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Hell was a wake-up call, and when I was brought back, that was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, with seeing the plants' auras

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I told some people online and was told, 'I'm not reading all that,' and was also called a liar by some. A few people asked if I would do a testimonial, and I said I would

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I had complete clarity, like how I am right now. Not only was I in another place, but I could think, realize where I am, argue why I'm here, and get shown in a way that I would understand

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
There is absolutely nothing that can change my mind. What happened that day was a warning, and I would be a fool to ignore the Lord's warning when I begged for a second chance

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Yes. If you need anything or have questions, email me