Jesse M Probable NDE

Experience Description

There were two separate events, although the experience was extremely traumatic and I have lost a great deal of detail from these memories.

On November 12 of last year, I woke up with a stabbing pain in my side. Gallstones run in my family, and every year I have a couple of gallbladder attacks. They are extremely painful and cause fever, nausea, and severe pain for four or five hours at a time.

This time felt different. I held out as long as I could, but after two days I went to the emergency room. I was diagnosed with gallstones and scheduled for a cholecystectomy a few days later. My surgery was delayed, and I did not have it until November 21.

Those nine days were absolute hell. It felt as though I was being stabbed over and over.

After surgery, I was supposed to go home, but my surgeon told me something had gone wrong. He said he had never heard of anyone surviving a completely dead gallbladder until he met me. He told me that I was as sick as it gets and that he was praying for me.

Apparently, the gangrene was advanced, and the surgery had spread the infection throughout my abdomen. My blood pressure was at an emergency level, and they feared I might have a stroke. Nurses checked me around the clock, including hourly checks of my digestive system.

My organs were failing, and I was given antibiotics every two hours. After the first night, I was no longer allowed strong pain medication because they needed my organs to start functioning again, and opiates would slow that process.

I had a breathing tube and an IV in one arm. Both of my legs were connected to machines that helped keep my circulation going.

About a day after surgery, I was experiencing what I can only describe as torture. I could not sleep, and I was not allowed strong pain medication. My alarms were constantly going off.

At some point, with several alarms sounding, I remember staring at the wall and fighting to stay conscious. Eventually, I lost that fight and blacked out.

### First Experience

I immediately woke up somewhere else. At first, I thought I was dreaming.

I was standing on a mountain ridge. A gentle road led down toward a city.

I immediately knew I should not be there. I had just been lying in a hospital bed fighting for my life. Now I was somewhere else, and I could not wake myself up.

I told myself that a nurse would come into my room at any second and wake me. Nothing happened.

I waited longer. I thought my hourly check would happen soon and I would wake up then. Still, nothing happened.

At that moment, I felt completely alone. I thought about my mother and sister and hoped they would be okay. It was nighttime, and I felt cold and alone. I believed it was all over.

Then an overwhelming feeling came over me. Somehow, I knew my grandparents were nearby.

A realization suddenly occurred to me, and my heart soared. I knew that somehow I was going to get back everyone I had ever lost. They were near me.

That is what death is. It is the moment you get back everything you have ever lost.

I ran to the road and looked down into the valley toward the city. It was so bright that I could not make out the individual buildings. The brightness seemed impossible.

For some reason, I had a car, so I started driving toward the city.

There were very few other drivers. The people who were also driving toward the city all looked happy. I may never have experienced that much joy before.

I knew that everyone I had known who had died was waiting for me there. I even remember thinking that I was going to bother Tupac and see if he wanted to hang out with me sometime, since I had eternity.

This seemed to continue for hours.

Eventually, I began to realize that something was wrong. No matter how fast I drove, the city never became any closer.

My heart sank.

Soon afterward, I found myself back in my hospital bed. My alarms were still going off. A nurse walked into the room, asked if I was okay, and turned off the alarms.

I do not think any time had passed.

I was shocked by what had happened, but I simply told her that I was fine.

It seemed as though time had slowed dramatically, or perhaps the concept of time did not apply at all over there.

During the following days in the hospital, there were other times when I felt that I might not survive. Several times, I fought to remain conscious. As I began fading out, I would start seeing the lights of that city again.

### Second Experience

I had just lost my insurance, so the hospital did not want to keep me any longer than necessary.

I had several drainage tubes near my liver that were removing the infection. At first, the drainage was green because of the gangrene. It was supposed to become a rusty orange color.

After five days, it finally became rust colored, and I was discharged.

After I got home, I immediately became very sick again. I had tremendous pain and difficulty getting home and climbing the stairs.

That same day, the drainage turned green again. I became extremely ill. I remember lying on my couch and crying out from the pain and sickness.

I do not remember how I lost consciousness the second time.

Suddenly, I found myself standing on a sandy road that led to a beach.

It was the most beautiful day I had ever seen. The surf was gentle. It was warm but not hot, and there was a light breeze. There were no insects.

This time, I knew exactly why I was there, and I was elated.

Once again, there were very few people. The few people who were there were so happy that I could actually feel it.

There was love, harmony, and an overwhelming presence of God.

I was happier than I had ever been, even happier than during my first experience. My pain was completely gone, and I felt wonderful. I cannot possibly overstate how merciful that felt.

The symbolism seemed perfectly clear to me. The land represented the living. The water represented the afterlife.

I was between the two, standing on the beach.

I simply did not know what I was supposed to do.

I thought the tide would eventually carry me away, but it never did. I swam out a little, but the water remained shallow and nothing happened.

I had been there all day, and it was now late afternoon.

Eventually, I became discouraged. This time, I spoke aloud.

“I have lived a good life. I deserve to be with my grandparents. I have sacrificed over and over to help people. I can name dozens of people who are better off because they have known me. I have always tried to correct my mistakes and become a better person. I have always stood on my principles and been a man of action, even when it terrified me.”

A moment later, I became aware that I was not alone.

“You have lived a good life, and I love you.”

“Yes, your family is waiting, and you have earned your way to see them.”

I could not physically see whoever was communicating with me, but their presence felt like a warm blanket being draped over me.

I do not know whether it was God or one of His helpers. Whoever it was felt ancient, benevolent, and definitely female.

I did not feel as though I knew her, but she definitely knew me.

We did not communicate through spoken words. The communication happened in some other way.

Then I experienced a life review.

I watched events from my entire life play out like a movie. It seemed heavily edited, but in a positive way.

First, I was given the opportunity to think about all the good people I had known throughout my life. This even included people I no longer spoke to.

The memories were genuinely positive.

I remembered riding bicycles with my neighbor when I was six or seven years old. I remembered eating watermelon with an uncle who died when I was little.

This was an intensely spiritual experience for me, and I still become overwhelmed when I think about it.

Even when I saw cousins who later became people I did not consider good, I remembered only the good experiences we had shared.

I was able to think with absolute clarity and benevolence about every person who had made an impression on my life.

One unusual thing was that there was a powerful emotion connected with every image and memory, but it was not necessarily my emotion.

The scenes I was seeing were also not from my own point of view. It felt more like I was seeing them from a grandmother's point of view.

Then I began reviewing events from my own life.

I saw the times when my back was against the wall and I faced my fears. I saw times when I had tried as hard as I could to accomplish something. I saw moments when something wrong was happening and I chose to take action.

Again, there was an overwhelming feeling of joy and pride as I watched my life unfold. But the emotions did not always seem to be mine.

She was telling me that she was proud of me.

She showed me that she had always been there for me. When I experienced joy during my life, it made her happy too.

She showed me that she understood I had lived a very difficult life. She was satisfied with the man I had become.

I could even feel her excitement when we watched some of the more adventurous things I had done.

This seemed to take a very long time. By then, I felt as though I had been on the beach for a day or more.

The review was not entirely positive.

She showed me many of the stupid things I had done when I drank too much. I saw nights in jail, waking up in strange places, and the embarrassment afterward.

I had been a pretty bad drinker.

Those memories were surrounded by sadness. There was no anger or embarrassment from her, only sadness.

I have not had a drink since then. I stopped completely.

She also showed me memories of the many sacrifices I had made throughout my life.

I felt tremendous sadness when I realized how many things I had given up because I thought I was helping other people.

Then a thought came into my mind. Not one of those people had visited me in the hospital.

She made sure I understood that from then on, I needed to make my own well being a priority.

After that, she allowed me to ask questions.

I asked about the nature of death. She showed me that death is painful for the people left behind, but is a positive experience for the person who is dying.

I asked what would happen next in my life.

Two things immediately came into my mind.

First, I saw myself at work during the summer. I was screaming out of frustration.

That later happened. In June and July, I had several meetings with my boss about management failing to keep its word. Eventually, I quit.

Second, I saw a snowy mountain covered with glaciers. It was windy, and I could see snow blowing from the summit.

I am an avid hiker, so I recognized it as Glacier Peak on the Pacific Crest Trail in Washington State.

I had always wanted to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, but I was afraid because I do not like heights.

I understood that she was telling me to conquer my fears and make this my recovery goal.

That summer, I completed about a 500 mile hike and reached the place I had seen in my vision.

There were many forest fires that summer, so I eventually had to turn around. However, I reached the location from my experience and saw the mountain.

It did not have as much snow that year as it had in my vision. If possible, I intend to return next summer.

That is about everything I can remember.

The experience was extremely traumatic, and my memories are not very good. There may have been more than two separate events, and I may be combining some of them.

My life has also been difficult since these experiences because I keep thinking about that place.

I have told a few people small parts of what happened. Some think I am crazy. People online have said they think I am making it up.

My mother is a compulsive gambler, and I have pleaded with her to change while she still has the opportunity. I want her to be in Heaven with her family, but she will not listen.

I will not do anything unethical at work because I know God is watching. That has not made me very popular with my boss.

I am tired of the pettiness of this world, and I long to be in the next world with God and my family.

One final thing is that I do not believe Hell exists.

I believe everyone is healed before transitioning into the next life, and perhaps that healing includes the spirit.

I believe we are God's children. I do not think He wants to punish His children. I think He wants to see us do well.

I also believe Heaven is a very large place because I think I saw two different parts of it.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 11/21/2025

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I had my gallbladder removed, and my surgeon discovered it was completely dead and gangrenous. Removing it spread gangrene throughout my abdomen. The extreme pain caused my blood pressure to skyrocket to levels where a stroke was considered imminent.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
When I was fighting to stay conscious, I would see the bright lights of the city superimposed over whatever I was looking at.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I was with my higher power
I would guess this is the highest level of consciousness possible.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I experienced long amounts of time over there that amounted to mere seconds here.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Sharp, observant, colors were vivid and bright

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My experience was more visual than auditory.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Traumatic times; my memory isn't complete.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I sensed my grandparents were in the city of light. It sounds silly, but I knew Tupac was there too, and I looked forward to talking to him. Also, there were other people there with me transitioning from life to death.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
City of light where I knew I had to go to see my grandparents.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was at a beach with no tides and perfect weather, and I was with a higher power. I also got close to the city of light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Mercy, joy, love, pride, harmony, sadness

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
My higher power gave me understanding about my life, past and future, and taught me many things about life in general but not every single thing.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
My higher power arranged the events and even used them to communicate and teach me. For example, she told me she wanted me to quit drinking by showing me dumb stuff I had done while I was drunk.

Did scenes from the future come? I saw future unhappiness at work that 100% came true, and I saw a long hike I have to complete, but now isn't the right time because it's supposed to happen when there's more snow.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
I couldn't cross over for some reason; the ocean wouldn't accept me, so I stayed stuck on the beach.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
My first time, I tried to go to the light but I couldn't get any closer. My second time, I tried to cross over but wasn't sure how, and I wasn't allowed. I think my higher power wanted me to experience a more fulfilling life than the version I had before. I definitely tried to argue.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic
My family is Christian and Catholic, but most aren't very religious. I also grew up with people of various religions.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I thank God for his help all the time and I try to make him proud. I don't think religious ceremonies really matter, but the quality of your life does. I'm more informal

What is your religion now? No comment
I definitely believe in God and I know he has my back as long as I live a good life. I don't think actual religion matters as long as you have strong principles and the courage to act.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I experienced some remarkably stereotypical events that I didn't believe in until I experienced them. It makes sense now because these other stories were describing the same places, so experiences should have similarities.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I used to vaguely believe in God; now I know he loves me and has my back as long as I have his back!

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I couldn't see her but I felt her presence. Benevolent, wise, powerful, intelligent, and loving.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
Didn't ask her name.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I know there's another life after this one, so I'm pretty sure something came before this.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
I became aware we are all God's children. He loves us all and wants us to do well. Essentially, we are all one.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
I spent a considerable amount of time with a higher power. I do not know if she is the highest power or maybe an angel?

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I experienced dying! I think I'm supposed to use this knowledge to comfort people or inspire others to conquer their fears and maximize their existence. I also unfortunately believe that I am kind of weird to other people now. Also, I am certain about my path and confident about my quality as a human being now. Plus, I know God has my back.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Life is a gift! God wants us to accomplish whatever wholesome thing we feel compelled to do in life. It's time to conquer my fears, challenge myself, and be the best I can be.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
Other people were crossing over with great joy right in front of me. I survived this event only because a higher power helped me. My higher power told me I will be with my family when it's my time, and I could sense my grandparents nearby. I also was able to ask a few questions that confirmed this. Death is the moment you get back everyone you've lost.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
God wants us to enjoy ourselves! We are even allowed a couple shenanigans.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Most people can't speak to God or understand what happens after death. My higher power seemed to be frustrated that communication isn't easier with earthly life. This part of my memory is vague. She also became sad that we get so broken up about losing loved ones. In reality, death seems to be almost a reward.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
The amount of love that God is surrounded by is overwhelming. It's probably the single most important detail of this whole experience. The questions you are asking all apply to my experience, so I'm guessing you have heard similar stories.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I love everyone and I can understand people better now. I know we are all God's children, so we have a little bit of him in all of us. This gives me great confidence that I can succeed at the things I want to do. I have much less fear and I generally believe things are going to work out. I literally hiked 500 miles in July and August! Also, I've always been a humanitarian, but I have to make sure I am my own number one priority.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I can't be around dishonest people.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
My higher power communicated without words, and it's difficult to describe.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
These events were very memorable, and at the time I was as sick as it gets, so I can't remember events outside of this well.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
I've been pretty good at predicting other people's behavior and determining behavioral motivations.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I feel ripped off in a way because I was so close to seeing my grandparents. They died about 25 years ago and now I have to wait a good long time to see them. But you can bet I will be behaving.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain
I tried, but people think I'm crazy for talking about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
I used to watch Unsolved Mysteries, and I vaguely remember an NDE episode.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I knew it was real, no doubt about it. The things I was told are logical to me, and my memories were real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I never hallucinated before or after this event. Also, I don't think it's possible to hallucinate a day's worth of events occurring in a split second.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I think I am deeply traumatized from almost dying, so it takes over my thinking sometimes. But in reality, I had those 2 future visions and one of them was 100% on. The second one is a work in progress, but I made it to the spot in Washington that I saw in my vision. It's just the wrong year because the mountain had more snow in my vision

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Seemed pretty complete.

Anything else to add? I tell people, if you know what I know, you would behave because there is a reward you don't want to miss.