Jami SD NDE

Experience Description

I will focus on an assault that I had a few years ago in September 2019.

I was being held down with my face on the ground, not moving. I was already in pain from the first assault seven days prior, and I had difficulty expanding my lungs comfortably because of the inflammation in my chest that made itself known with every cough, breath, laugh, sneeze, and movement prior to this event. But in this moment, I couldn't breathe at all. I couldn't expand my lungs to take a breath, it hurt to even try to fight against it (so I didn't), and I was in shock that it was happening because I hadn't done anything that should have triggered this person to act this way, despite the fact that they thought I had.

I had a whole life review, especially my nursing experiences in ICU and Gregory and Carson visiting me at work at the hospital. I had memories of performing CPR on patients and the fact that I was being held down with my chest compressed, I felt panicked that they were going to stop my heart because as my chest compressed, so did my heart only it was a static state, not the up and down movement of chest compressions in a life-saving event. I knew what it felt like to do chest compressions on a living human chest, and now I knew what it felt like to have my own chest compressed while still alive and conscious, and it was awful, to put it mildly. That life review also included Gregory and my kids when they were little. It was brief and fast and although I wouldn't have called it 'panoramic,' it was an expanded and vivid view for sure.

I knew that with my chest in that state and my inability to breathe, I would not survive. My mind and soul were ready to give up. Honestly, I thought it was my time to go. Therefore, I started to let go and drew within myself as the life review went black and was ready to let my soul release from my body.

This is when I heard an angel guide as a female voice whisper, which seemed like an audible whisper, but I'm not sure if it was audible to my ears or telepathically at this point, to me, 'Jami, it is not your time to die. Jami, you need to take a breath. Jami, you need to breathe. Jami, take a breath.' But the truth was, I couldn't. The weight of the person on my back was too heavy, my chest was compressed into the ground, and I couldn't expand my lungs. And the vividness was lighter and not so black anymore. I had another review of what life purpose I still needed to fill, it was like telepathically the angel was reminding me of my life purpose and that my life journey and purpose were not over. I knew in that instant that it wasn't my time and that I had more work to do and that vivid imagery and communication was proof of that.

Then, the angel guide gave me instructions on what to do. She told me to 'close my eyes,' meaning my spiritual eyes, and everything went black again. Then she told me to lift myself up. I then lifted myself up by bending at the waist and I threw my arms out like I was doing the 'fly' in weightlifting or the 'butterfly' in swimming. Then my angel guide told me to open my 'eyes,' and when I did, I saw the back of my own head: I was staring at my own red hair because my physical body hadn't moved. My physical body was still lying on the ground, and I think I was either partially or fully out of my body at this point. My spiritual energy force (soul, which I now know is apparently called the subtle body) had lifted the person off of me. This was either a full or a partial out-of-body experience, as if my soul had done the upward-facing-dog position in yoga. The reason I'm not sure if it was full or partial is that I don't remember seeing my legs at all, therefore I'm not certain if I was fully out of my body or partly out of my body. At that point I also heard someone in the distance say 'She's not moving' along with other very subtle inaudible talking; however, this was brief because it seems that mostly I was tuned out of my surroundings other than this specific focus.

Then my angel guide told me to close my 'eyes' and lay back down. As I did that, everything slowly went dark again and I found myself laying back down into my body. Next came instructions telling me to breathe. It took a moment, as I felt like I was reorienting myself into my body, forcing the energy into myself and into my extremities. I struggled, because at first I still wasn't able to actually take that breath, but I somehow moved my left arm and tucked it slowly under my chest, creating a wedge between my body and the ground so that my lungs and chest could expand in both directions and not be restricted by the ground. No one was on top of me anymore restricting me from above.

I was able to take a breath. And it was the most welcoming breath I had ever taken. But my reorientation into my body was not smooth or instant. All I could do was just lay there. In fact, I lay there for several hours, moving only briefly, in pain with every inch I moved, especially trying to sit up.

I have no doubt, because of the circumstances, that the person who assaulted me was influenced by a very strong negative energy force. It does happen, and it happens more frequently than people realize. The journey from there was far from over, but I lived. It was not my time to die, and from the messages I have received, I don't believe my time will come anytime soon. I also do my best not to provoke anything (meaning negative energy spirits or people who seem to be carrying negative energy) on purpose.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 09/11/2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was assaulted. Everything is explained below.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I saw my own body and some of the surroundings. I was still pretty close to my body, so I didn't see a lot of the room; I was focused mainly on my body lying there. It was a fairly quick in-and-out as I followed the instructions of my angel guide.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? In my body when I made peace with the fact that I was going to die and was starting to let go, when I heard the angelic being, and when I was out-of-body. All of this occurred while my body was not breathing.
It was very vivid. It's burned into my memory, especially the out-of-body part, but really the entire thing.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No sense of time. Events seemed to happen chronologically when thinking back, as my angelic guide gave me instructions with steps to take, but at the time there was no awareness of time at all; it wasn't a concept.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My vision out of body was just as vivid as in body. Maybe even more so.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience When I was still in body, I heard the angelic voice like a loud whisper, but then when I was out-of-body I heard her telepathically.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I believe the angelic being was a deceased person, though I'm not entirely certain who she was.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
It came from the angelic being. I didn't see her while in my body, but when I left my body, she was glowing to my left side, but I only saw her partially and could probably have reached out and touched her if able.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I wouldn't say joy because I was assaulted and I was following the instructions of the angelic being and knew it wasn't my time to die before I left my body on this one. But a profound sense of peace, awareness, and love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
So, I wouldn't say everything, but there was a sense of infiniteness and no boundaries or time. The past, present, and future sort of collided, like putting it all into the same water bucket and dissolving it all together.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Yes, I had a lot of memories come in the form of a download after the NDE later, but in the NDE there was a life review.

Did scenes from the future come? Both personal and worldwide. It had more to do with my purpose and the sense that I had a lot to do to help people understand marriage, family, and the soul or consciousness connections within marriage, as well as healing that needed to occur within my own family. I was also given a sense that I would work with people around the world. I do work with people around the world now, but not because I force it. I attend a university for my PhD, and people continue connecting me with others. I also meet healthcare providers, researchers, students, bloggers, and others, and some reach out to me directly. These connections now extend to almost every continent. Although these relationships are not always directly related to my purpose involving family and marriage connections, many are connected to my psi and anomalous experiences, including my near-death experiences, my PhD dissertation work, and even people who cared for my dying father. I hope that all of it is part of the higher purpose and plan that God has for me. I truly hope so.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
No physical structure, but I wasn't allowed to leave my body for more than a few feet. It was not enough to see the room, as the angel guide only told me to lift out of my body and used my energy to lift the person off of me, and then I lay back down into my body. I'm not sure if I actually did lift them off or if they just did it on their own, but when I saw the back of my own head and body (upper body only, I didn't see my feet), I was instructed to lie back down in my body, so I did. My border or boundary was right next to my body. I wasn't allowed to go further.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
No physical structure, but I wasn't allowed to leave my body for more than a few feet. It was not enough to see the room, as the angel guide only told me to lift out of my body and used my energy to lift the person off of me, and then I lay back down into my body. I'm not sure if I actually did lift them off or if they just did it on their own, but when I saw the back of my own head and body (upper body only, I didn't see my feet), I was instructed to lie back down in my body, so I did. My border or boundary was right next to my body. I wasn't allowed to go further.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I get annoyed with sermons at Christian churches now. While I believe the Catholic Church has some beliefs correct, organized religion is very broken and made up of broken beliefs and rituals, and I just cannot do it. I grew up Lutheran, converted to Catholicism after my divorce, and now I struggle with both. I love Jesus so much, but I understand him as an equal spiritual being—a deceased, highly enlightened, and chosen human being. I relate Jesus to someone similar to Martin Luther King Jr. in his time: chosen for his purpose, but not God and not perfect. I believe that all religions have the hand of God in them. No one religion is doing everything correctly, and we need to learn from them all. I still love my Christian mystical music that sings of God, as long as it does not sing about Jesus as God, because I do not believe he was God. I believe he is one with God now, as part of the infinite oneness of God, just as we are when we are out of the body. I do believe that many of Jesus' teachings and many of the writings in the Bible are mystical and truthful. However, I also believe the Bible is filled with teachings that either God did not want us to know in that way or that are simply not true. For example, metaphorically, Jesus is not the only son of God, nor do I believe he actually said that. He said that we are all children of God, meaning that we are all born of God, expressions of God, or extensions of God. I believe people have interpreted the Bible incorrectly, even biblical scholars, which makes all of this difficult. There is still a great deal of wisdom in religion, so I do not dismiss it. However, I am much more spiritual now, and I take from the Bible what I feel I am meant to learn. I wish I could teach people what I learned about all of this through another profound encounter that happened around this same time. That encounter communicated all of this to me, and even more. However, this NDE also supported and confirmed much of it. Again, I am tired, so I hope I explained all of this clearly.

What is your religion now? Christian - Catholic
I'm more spiritual now and don't believe any one religion is doing it all correctly. I didn't want to be associated with Christianity for a while because of all the false teachings that they do; however, I was also taught some of the things they are profoundly doing correctly, and it has to do with my life purpose, so I still identify as Christian. But I believe God is my Savior and Jesus was an enlightened human being and is a part of God, but he is not God and certainly isn't my God. I love him very much though.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Just more profound. No mistaking things. Profound knowing for sure.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I knew my purpose would be hard considering my family was broken from divorce (my husband's affairs) and because of spiritual attacks that have happened that I actually could both sense, feel, and see at times (not all spiritual experiences are positive though I've had some amazingly positive ones too). My values and beliefs were to focus on my experiences, the messages, protect animals (vegan lifestyle), etc. I will complete three master's and two PhDs in five years and have connected with people all over the world. It's not as dramatic as it sounds, as I'm still just me, but my goal is to increase my knowledge so that I can speak on the topics of my own experiences and others as a scholar. Prior to 2022, my lifelong experiences were the only wisdom I really had on the subjects. I knew nothing of the research that was being done or even formal names for types of experiences or consciousness states, etc. All my wisdom before was from spontaneous experiences and information taught to me by angelic beings or guides.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
It was a female voice in a loud whisper while in my body as I was letting go, and when I was out of body, it was telepathic, and I saw her partially off to my left side. No features, just a soft bright light being, but I only saw her top half, I think, though no human features were seen. But when the voice was heard in a whisper while in body, it was definitely a female voice.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I was told that my ex-husband and I were soulmates in previous lives and that we still had work to do in this life.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
We are all connected for sure. There was a profound oneness out of the body, but I also knew that we have specific soul connections with our biological family (children) and our given spouses as soulmates or spiritual blending that is never undone with either; it is what keeps families spiritually connected. So yes, we are unified or part of the Unified One (God), but we are not the wholeness of God. He let me feel the expansiveness of that infiniteness while out of the body again. But in body, I know that our individual consciousness, in my case, is connected or blended (me with my three children and my spouse). I had other encounters and transcendental experiences around this time that state or confirm this same thing.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
I was told that I still had work to do for God and that it wasn't my time to die.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Already described this.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
I've already described this, but I have one purpose to fight the "spiritual war on marriage" and help others understand the soul connections and sacred consciousness blending that occurs with marriage and biological children. Because many of my spiritual experiences and encounters that increased and happened around this time, plus old memories, are about this, etc. I had old memories resurface that I had forgotten about and new memories surface regarding this too.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I was told that my ex-husband and I were soulmates in previous lives and we still had work to do in this life. I knew that life exists outside the body before because of my two previous NDEs and OBEs, but in this experience, when out of my body, I experienced that it was true also.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain
I'm not sure if I left anything out. Sorry. I don't know what I all typed.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
It wasn't going to be easy, though I wasn't given specifics. I've encountered many traumatic things and people, but also found great supportive scientists and researchers. Both. It's not always easy to know who to talk about this with and who will believe you and support you. I've worked in the medical field for 26 years, but some of my spiritual experiences are extensive and extreme if you look at them on paper, but to me they are vivid, real, and extraordinary. I'm not sorry they happened, but not being able to talk about them all with certain loved ones is difficult, and not being believed or supported in what it means or what I need to do with this wisdom and knowledge is also difficult. I have found great support, but the four people I need most in my life I can't really share most of this with. One is my ex-husband, and I have to be careful with my children, which makes it difficult to succeed in my purpose. I was also told that if my ex-husband didn't believe, I would suffer. So even joys and successes that are celebrated are also still hardships. I wasn't told that this would all happen in this encounter specifically, but a lot of this was told to me in an angelic encounter around this time but separate from this NDE.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Yes, I experienced it, and that love in the human sense can be denied by the mind or blocked, but it still exists in the soul. We can't fall out of love because love is infinite. In a different encounter, I experienced that profound sense of love where no words do it justice; it is impossible to describe. I didn't experience it as profoundly in this encounter, but it was still profound, and I felt great love from the angelic being that helped me and great love for myself and my family (including my ex-husband). After the NDE when I was finally home, even though it was an assault, I had so much peace and love that without the evidence of the bruises, you wouldn't have known at first that I'd been assaulted. I just had this overwhelming sense of love, compassion, peace, and respect for my family and all of humanity, really. It was beautiful. But it opened me up to be vulnerable too because people didn't understand it.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I have had three NDEs so these last questions aren't as different. This is NDE/OBE #3. Right after the NDE for a few years, I wasn't fearful at all of living my human life. But I've had a lot of things in life negatively affect me since then, some having to do with family and reintegration with my life purpose, and it's hard. I'm not afraid of living life per se, but I am afraid of not healing some of the relationships in my life that need healing. I've desperately tried, but I've realized that I can't do it alone. Others don't understand what I know or what I experienced and aren't at the same place I am as far as love, forgiveness, grace, faith, hope, etc. Because I'm at a different place in my evolution of myself, it was hard. It actually threatened where I was at peace with everything—the reintegration process I mean, and my purpose and aftereffects of increased spiritual encounters and messages, etc.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
Some have strengthened; I've found my believers and people. Some relationships were strained, some didn't survive well, etc. I even had to testify in family court with my ex-husband because he wanted to question my mental stability. I was put through hell, to say the least, but it wasn't just because of my NDE but from the experiences and encounters between NDE #2 and this one #3 and the strong influx of aftereffects after NDE #3 here.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
The experience wasn't difficult, but the 'feelings' of what it was like, such as being out of body or how I heard the angelic voice, etc., are sometimes difficult to put into words for others to understand.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
More vivid. It is burned into my memory.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Lots of various things. Download, automatic writing, positive and negative encounters. But I also had an NDE, OBE, and spiritual attack/assault in 2019, so these also contributed. This NDE collided with an NDE in 2016, a transcendent experience in 2018, a profound angelic encounter in 2018, and a spiritual assault in 2019 (a couple of months prior to this NDE). So this NDE collided after those, and the effects, while beautiful after this, definitely increased my awareness of other spiritual beings (deceased individuals, angel guides, etc.) around me at times. It wasn't constant per se, but it was a constant knowing that they were there and influxes of various encounters. They have tapered off now. I had a download of memories resurface all together; some I remembered before but had forgotten, some I never forgot, and some that came back that I hadn't thought of since they happened (such as certain ones in childhood). I sat at my computer and typed nonstop for about two hours a couple of times, resulting in several hundred pages of notes.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? This was also difficult for others to understand, but it was the collective of all my NDEs/OBEs and spiritual encounters that made it difficult. I didn't share it with anyone other than two people, and I don't think they were the right two people. I expected them to just know me and believe me, but I realized that they didn't have an 'instant' download or knowing like I did, and I hadn't talked about a lot of these experiences. It was too much for them to handle, which made it difficult for me because I had to process alone. I had one counselor I spoke with to process, and she was great. I stayed true to myself and just tried to live my life normally as a nurse, etc. I didn't talk about it other than bits and pieces later, depending on what others could handle. The integration process was difficult, to say the least. But I was at such peace with the actual experiences and wisdom that came with it, knowing that this was my purpose to do something with these experiences, that it kept me focused, grounded, and at peace with even the hard parts of the journey. Still, trauma exists, but we just learn to manage it and live within the knowledge of my highest self and pray my loved ones can be a part of that, and many have. Hopefully that made sense. I'm in a bit of a hurry now.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Within a couple of weeks, I told a couple of people. I told more people after that when I felt my voice was stronger. Currently, I'm pretty open about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain
Not really. I had heard of others having such a thing, but I never read about them or studied them and certainly didn't know that places like IANDS or NDERF existed or that researchers studied them. I virtually knew nothing before my NDE in 2019. Even though I had one in 1997 (a smaller one) and in 2016, I realized the first two were NDEs when I had this one (the third NDE). I was relieved to study NDEs because it gave me a stronger voice to confidently and openly speak about my own experiences because my experiences aren't just NDEs but several other types of spiritual, psi, anomalous, and mystical experiences surrounding them, with memories all the way back to childhood now. It was the collective that was hard, and that is what prompted me to find as much 'evidence' to support my experiences as possible so I could not only have a stronger voice but also protect myself against the unbelievers. Again, I've been a nurse in the medical field for 26 years (soon to be an NP), and the medical field isn't kind to people who have experiences like this when you don't know how to describe them in a way that they understand. I didn't have the language—meaning the correct terms, etc.—to describe them in a way that some would understand. Don't get me wrong, I had the support of many psychologists, nurses, MDs who understood, but some didn't because I didn't know how to put my life experience and journey together in a way that anyone could understand because I was trying to collectively make sense of them myself. It was hard, which is why I worked hard to get those multiple degrees so quickly. Life could be cut short at any moment, and I wanted to give a strong voice to mine in hopes that it would also help others.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
See previous statements

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
See previous statements

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I think you mean overlap or recurred, yes. I have had many experiences in life overlap and predict, etc. I knew the assault (in some fashion) was going to happen; I just didn't know that it would be so profound or how it would happen or that it would cause an NDE or OBE. All of my experiences are connected.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I think so. However, it would be helpful if you asked if this was the only NDE or if there were others and what number this was if there were multiple. It also affects how you answer if you have had mediumship encounters of deceased people, psi or mystical experiences etc. prior to this one or not. Since I have had multiple spiritual experiences etc., it affects how I answer some of the "before and after" type questions in relation to this specific NDE.

Anything else to add? Not right now. I'm sure there are more that I forgot to write, but with so many experiences, etc. It's hard to know how to break them up in meaning and influence anymore.