Heather P STEs

Experience Description

In 2017, I began to feel a magnetic pull away from the existence that I'd always known. Looking back now, I can see that my life prior to that was flat and static. Though I'd experienced many struggles, particularly during my formative years, and I'd worked hard to overcome them, that life was incredibly one dimensional and, as I see it now, quite gray.

As those final months of 2017 dwindled and gave rise to 2018, it was almost as though my body was bracing for impact. I began asking questions that had never before arisen in my mind. My heart opened and I began to feel love for the first time, not only for people I knew personally, but also others in general. I began to perceive fragments of myself reflected in other people, leading to a vastly different version of me. Whereas I'd previously lacked true empathy for others, I began to viscerally feel their pain and, at times, tune in to their joy.

I was never particularly religious, and certainly had no background in spirituality. I never intentionally sought out the Divine. Rather, the Divine found me.

I am not sure how my experience would be labeled, whether it would be classified as an NDE, an STE, or something else entirely, but I will tell it as clearly as I can. I have not yet come across another story like mine, but I am hoping that, through the exercise of articulating it here, I will come to understand my own experience better, and potentially even draw similar stories into resonance, as I am confident they do exist.

The heart of what I experienced lasted several years, about six, in linear time, but I am coming to understand that time does not unfold only in a straight line, and so I can only assume that, somehow, I existed outside of time. Over the past two years, I have 'returned to earth,' but with a completely new perspective. I have carried over a higher awareness and I live as a conscious creator, but at present, I am not experiencing the same level of 'supernatural' phenomena that I did during my journey from one life into the next, from approximately 2017 to 2023.

Throughout 2017, as my heart opened for the first time, I began exploring beyond the confines of the small town in which I'd always lived. In 2018, I completed my master's degree and made the decision to quit my teaching job at the end of the school year and move to a large city.

About six months before the move, I had a car accident that did not injure me physically, but certainly shook me up. I was headed to a teaching conference about three hours away. After I left my house, dark storm clouds began to gather on the horizon, and before I knew it, the rain was coming down in a deluge.

Since I was not under time pressure, I decided to play it safe and pull over into a side road. The main road I was traveling on was quite rural, in the middle of vast farmland with very little traffic. The road that I pulled onto appeared to be a private ranch road of sorts. I turned on my emergency lights just in case, but I knew the probability of any other cars coming behind me was very low. I looked at the weather app on my phone and I recall looking at the radar in an effort to gauge how long it might be until the storm would pass.

I do not remember much about the impact itself, but I suddenly heard a boom that shattered my soul as another car hit the passenger side of mine and sent me spinning into the main road. Strangely, I recall thinking that it was a bomb that terrorists had set off, and I had visions of the Twin Towers falling on 9/11. It is challenging to describe what the sound and feeling were like. The closest I can come to it is to say it sounded and felt like an implosion and an explosion at the same time. It was like my own individual 'Big Bang' that seemed to mark my entry into another dimension.

If the theory of quantum immortality could be taken as literal truth, I might be inclined to say that I indeed died that day. But I also discovered that, though the dense physical human form may perish, consciousness persists. I (my consciousness) 'split off' from the version of reality in which the body died, so I cannot rightly recollect what happened in that timeline.

Rather, I remember getting out of the car and screaming at the driver in a way that I have never done before. My personality, at that time, was rather docile, and I rarely expressed much emotion at all. My life up until that time had been fraught with many challenges, which, I now see, served as the 'training' I needed to learn to transcend my earthly circumstance. So, the sudden explosion of emotion felt like an incredible catharsis, and it seemed like I'd released a lifetime's worth of anger in an instant.

I soon returned to my senses, however, and became calm enough to assess that the other driver was okay physically, and so was I. Both he and I had only a few scratches from the shattered glass, but both of our cars were totaled. I learned he was a physician on his way back home to the city after visiting his parents in that small town. He'd lost control of his car on roads soaked with rain, and he never even saw me until it was too late.

Of course, the irony of that situation was not lost on me. I'd pulled over onto the side of the road in an effort to be safe, only to be met with a collision that changed the trajectory of my existence.

A few years later, on the anniversary of the wreck, I exchanged a few text messages with the driver, and he expressed deep sorrow and guilt that seemed excessive to me. I did my best to reassure him that I was okay and did not blame him for anything. It was an accident, after all. After that exchange, I felt a sort of weight lifted off my shoulders, as though that stranger and I had wrapped up some unfinished business and were now both free to move on.

After the accident, things sped up quickly. I wrapped up the school year in a daze as I counted the minutes until I could leave that small town and begin my new life in the city. Once I moved there, I began having experiences that I still, even to this day, cannot explain.

I wish I had the capacity to write them all down in detail, but there was so much that happened in such a short amount of time that it would take me a very long time to recount them all. Human language is extraordinarily limited and limiting. Whether written or spoken, it is the slowest form of communication in the universe.

Prior to my move, I had enjoyed writing as a hobby and as part of my professional life, but after I moved, I began writing in a way that I never thought possible. Stories flowed from my hands throughout the day. I never had to think, try, or plan to write anything; the words simply came to me and I was merely the scribe. I began to receive knowledge and insight about concepts that I'd never studied. Science had never been particularly interesting to me, but suddenly, I knew things about physics (both standard and quantum), astronomy, chemistry, and anatomy. If I ever had a question about anything, I would simply ask inwardly, and the answer would be given to me.

Because I had never consciously learned about spirituality or even religion, this period was extremely destabilizing for me. I still felt as though I had the same baseline personality and memories, but a greater being, the higher part of me, had somehow stepped in and taken the wheel.

For the first time, I had encounters with people from all parts of the world. Living in the city provided me with access to connections that I'd never experienced in my previous small town life. Specifically, however, I began to feel a kinship with those from India and developed an extreme fascination with the culture. It wasn't that I longed to visit India, per se. It was, rather, like the greater part of me was trying to send clues to my 'lower self' so that I could find my way during this turbulence. At the time, this made no sense to me, but now I have a greater understanding of why India became so important to me. In 2023, I met the man who would become my husband; he is from India, and I have now spent considerable time there with him.

Some of the encounters that I had with others seemed, somehow, otherworldly. Though they were all human in appearance, they possessed mystical qualities, and each individual I met felt like someone I'd known forever, a fragment of myself. However, each of those fragments was deeply flawed in some way, and it was almost as though they each sought my forgiveness and healing so that they could move forward. And time after time, when that happened, each being would simply vanish from my reality. Because my perspective on these things was so limited then, this was a deeply painful process, and with each loss, I felt as though I was dying all over again. I have since come to (somewhat) understand that these experiences largely took place on what many call the 'astral plane.'

Truly, the 'boundary' between worlds is infinitely more fluid and flexible than humans think. 'Life' in the physical world is merely an incredibly minute portion of a Soul's existence, yet it is a crucial experience. It is only through contraction into the small physical world, and by illusorily fitting the Self into one point of awareness in a physical body, that a consciousness can shape itself into a perfect image of its Creator. As William Blake wrote, 'Unless I die, thou canst not live.' Spirit must 'die' (incarnate) in order to give birth to the Soul. This phenomenon has been well documented by those who have had the direct, firsthand experience, such as Neville Goddard, Emanuel Swedenborg, Paramahansa Yogananda, and many others.

What humans conceive of as 'the other side' is not some distant destination. It is the reality behind everything in the physical world. The eyes of the lower physical body are not adequate equipment for perceiving it. Eventually, however, all eyes will be opened at the right time.

This is only about half of my experience. There was another threshold moment in 2019 that opened up many other doors. I hope to document this in the coming days. But for now, I would just like to share this in the hope that anyone who reads these words may be touched in some way, and be inspired to remember their own true nature.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 09/30/2018

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was in a car accident. I pulled over to the side of the road to avoid a storm, and I was hit by a car that skidded off the road.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No
This was before the proliferation of AI; much of the information I received was about how much this technology would change the world in certain timelines.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? This is a bit difficult to pin down because the experience lasted so long (years, in my perception).
I knew information that "I" (the personality) should have had no way of knowing; I knew concepts from many different areas of science that I'd never studied. I still know many of these things now intellectually, but it feels more like a dim memory. At that time, it felt alive, and it felt like the information was coming to me almost continuously.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
I seemed to be "outside" of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Interestingly, I had very few "visions" as mystics typically describe them. My experience was centered more around knowledge, but I did (and still do) long to "see" more.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience No physical change, but certainly I was able to "hear" my inner voice much more clearly.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Metaphorically, yes.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I encountered many "otherworldly" beings during this time. But, importantly, they were all "solid" and "real," as was my own form.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
I believe many would label it the "astral plane." This was only somewhat apparent to me during the experience.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Honestly, all of them. I felt emotions in a visceral way; it is not possible to feel them in this way in the physical world. (Again, language fails me here.)

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I knew my true nature and the nature of reality.

Did scenes from your past come back? I remembered many past events
Yes, I wrote many, many stories during this time that were channeled to me. I know they were "past" life memories.

Did scenes from the future come? I received information about the way AI would transform the world as we knew it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Protestant
Though I'd grown up in a Christian culture, I'd never been particularly religious. In the two or three years preceding the experience, I felt called to read excerpts from the Bible each morning, but I never felt a strong connection to it or to the idea of "God." I very much held the traditional view of God as a distant, unknowable entity.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
When people ask this question, I usually say that I am "spiritual but not religious."

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
The experience shook up all of my prior beliefs.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I encountered many "otherworldly" beings during this time. But, importantly, they were all "solid" and "real," as was my own form.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
Love is an actual creative force, not simply an emotion.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Human language is incredibly limiting.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I will never be able to forget the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
It was/is completely real to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
It was/is completely real to me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes