Elizabeth B STE

Experience Description

I was at the beach on the south coast of Guatemala with old friends. It was sunset, and I was walking back from the ocean across the sand to an open-air kitchen where they were cooking. At the time, I was trying to recover from PTSD after many years in a very violent marriage. I remember feeling very lonely and sad as I walked back because my family hadn’t supported me, and I couldn’t get support from my friends, either, as they were also his friends. I felt suicidal and lost.

Suddenly, a large, bright, otherworldly light appeared, shining in the darkening sky up and to my left. I stopped walking and looked up. Instantly, I was flooded with overwhelming feelings of joy and peace. I never wanted those feelings to end. I had never before felt such compassion for myself and others. I lost awareness of my body. I realized clearly that what I was experiencing was the reality behind the confusion of living. I felt deep love for everyone and everything. I understood that we are all the same. We seem to be all caught up in life, worrying about things that do not truly matter. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and I could see that the true nature of life is love, joy, and compassion.

This only lasted for a short time, though it seemed like an hour to me. The light slowly faded, and I began to cry. I knew I would remember the experience, but the intense feeling of being joyful and enveloped in love would fade, and I would fall back into confusion and what I now realized was an illusion.

After that experience, I became interested in the experiences of others. I read William James’s book *Varieties of Religious Experience* and found that my experience was very similar to those described in his work. I realized my experience could be described as religious, though I do not subscribe to any one religion. In religious terms, it would be described as a state of grace.

I am so grateful to have experienced absolute love, joy, and compassion even once in my life. I took the lesson I learned and spent my life in Latin America and Africa, working in rural public health to prevent suffering and death. Now, as I grow old, I do not fear death, because I know that when we die, we all return to love.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 08/00/1979

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body
People were walking around. They were real.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I was in the light
Overwhelmed with joy, love, compassion

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
When I was in the light, I was overwhelmed with feelings. Time didn’t exist.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Immediately prior, my vision was distracted and dull. During the experience, I saw everything clearly, as if a veil was lifted.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I didn’t notice a change. There was no sound.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
I saw and felt a large, bright other-worldly light

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, joy, calm, compassion, enveloped in love

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I suddenly saw everything clearly. That everything is a part of everything else. Everything is love.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Before my experience, I believed that there is a mystic connection between everything, but I didn’t believe that the great spirit cared about us as individuals or would show itself to me.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
That experience changed my life. I know now that there is a loving spirit behind everything.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Absolutely. Everything and everyone is connected by love.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
No specific information, but I do think the light was a manifestation of the spirit that gives us life, God the great spirit.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
That our purpose is to love and have compassion for all living things.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
I learned that life’s purpose is to spread compassion and love.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain
No specific information, but a feeling that the love I felt is what you go into when you die.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
I learned that we are all bogged down in worrying about ourselves and things that don’t matter.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Yes, I learned that the true nature of life is love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I hope I am kinder, more understanding, and less selfish.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
The experience was otherworldly, ineffable

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I will never forget that experience. I remember it vividly compared to my memory of other events around that time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared it right away and was lucky that my friend was a Buddhist, so he understood me. I have since told others, but it’s hard to describe the profound nature of the experience. People dismiss it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I viewed it as profound and set out to learn more.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
My views haven’t changed. That was an incredibly profound experience and very real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I had an experience years later. I was in a forest and again the veil lifted and I could see the trees stretching, reaching up into the sky. When I looked down at my feet, I became aware that the grass was covered with ants as far as I could see. I felt compassion for them, and couldn’t move for fear of killing one. Everything around me was so alive.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No
It would be good if you added spiritual to your list of religious beliefs. I am spiritual. That is not the same as agnostic.