Elaine H STE

Experience Description

I went to bed as usual. I am married and went to sleep before my husband. I have health issues, but none that I know of that would explain what I experienced. I do not know if my experience is even classified as an NDE, or if I should be writing this.

I dream when I sleep and often remember those dreams. I know what a dream feels like when you wake up. This experience felt nothing like that. It felt totally real.

I went to sleep. I woke up and immediately felt different. I remembered everything and told my husband right away. In my experience, I was in a place with no walls or objects to identify my location. Where I was, was light. I was in the light. It contained unbelievable colors, but they all came together into a white light of unbelievable beauty. The feeling was one of indescribable beauty, joy, and love. It enveloped me. I felt totally safe, loved, and full of joy. There were beings around me, but I could not actually see them. I could sense their presence. I do not think I sensed my body being there, but rather my essence.

I was asked, in my mind, 'Have you experienced life?' I said, 'No.' Almost immediately I knew I could not stay, and I said, 'I do not want to leave.' I wanted to remain there, with the all-encompassing love, joy, and peace.

But then what I saw was a face. Yet it was not truly a face. It had long hair, or at least I think it was long hair, that instantly fizzled outwards as if electrocuted. I woke up. I could feel the love and joy, and what I felt in that beautiful light, for days and weeks. It all felt totally real, more real than real. It felt like a physical experience. After all this time, I can still quiet my mind and feel the sensation. I get a sense of comfort, my arms get chills, and I feel it.

I completely believe I was given a gift. I was given the gift of knowing that when we die, we are safe, loved, and become energy filled with love. I feel different after this event. I do not tell many people, only those I think would accept it for what it was. One person told me I must have had a drink or used marijuana, or something. No. I had nothing out of the ordinary before I went to bed.

Did I die briefly during my sleep? Did I travel out of my body during the night? I do not know. But I know I was given a gift, an experience. I did not just see something. I was there. I experienced it.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 10/13/2024

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain
I went to bed without having any health issues that I was aware of. I woke up in the morning without any health issues that I was aware of.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? My highest level of consciousness and alertness was when I was in the all-encompassing light. Beings were around me, but I could sense them, not see them. I felt a higher power, not as a being, but as energy and light, and colors that were beyond beautiful, yet they were white.
It was 'realer than real'. I have never felt anything like it in 'normal' life. I don’t think there could be anything like it in this world. It was as if I were a part of the love and unbelievable joy. It was me, and I was it.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time. That was irrelevant. It had no meaning. It kind of all happened at once, and yet it didn’t. I was part of it, not looking in at something. I was connected in some way, not just like we are connected to people we love here, but like we were all the same being or essence.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Night and day. I went to bed as always. I was as I always was. Then, I went somewhere. Was it heaven? Was it space? Was it the essence of life, death, and everything, rolled into one? I don’t know. But it was more real than real and incredibly more intense and amazing. None of those words even come close to describing it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I don’t think I heard with my ears. I’m not even sure I had ears. I think I was not of my body. I was not my body. I 'heard' things in my being. Not how I normally hear, in this world, with my ears.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Uncertain
There were beings around me, but I couldn’t see who or what they were. The 'face' with the hair that fizzed out or stood out, as if electrified, wasn’t really a face either. That has confused me and still confuses me.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
I can’t describe it as it was. There are no words. It was all colors that were unbelievably beautiful, but at the same time, it was white light. The light was light, but at the same time, it encompassed me and others that couldn’t see.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I couldn’t see other beings or places. But I felt they were there, just out of reach. Was it not my time, and so I couldn’t see them? I wanted so badly to stay there. I did not want to come back.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love. Joy. Peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I seemed to understand that this (the experience) was the true life. That the love, joy and peace I felt was what we are.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
It seemed that the all-encompassing light and feelings of love, joy and peace were in one place, and the 'face' or whatever it was was in another place. But then, I’m not sure that is right either. I don’t know if I went somewhere else, or someone or something came to me. I continue to wonder about it.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
It wasn’t a physical boundary. The 'face' with the fizzing hair was the boundary. That was when I 'came back.' But I don’t know if I 'came back' or 'became alive again' or what. I woke up at the normal time. So I don’t understand how or when it happened.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Nothing in particular - Secular unaffiliated
I grew up going to an Episcopal church with my parents. My father, in particular, was quite religious. I have not gone to church, other than occasionally, for many years.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I am more spiritual. I know there is a God. I know there is more after this life. It makes me feel less fearful and more at peace.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Nothing in particular - Religious unaffiliated
I am spiritual and believe that there is much more than what we are told. I think there is an afterlife and more in this world. I know there is a God. I am fine going to church, but I much prefer being in nature and connecting to the divine through other methods.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I don’t think it was consistency or inconsistency. It was validation, although that isn’t the right word. It was a reminder, a way of telling me things. I can’t find the right words at all.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I feel the value of love so much more. I can’t explain this either. I am a flawed human being, like the rest of us. But I sense and feel love and joy.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I was asked, 'Have you experienced life?' I answered, 'no.' I didn’t speak with my mouth, as I don’t think I had a mouth. It was all in my head, or more likely in my being. I don’t think my body was there. I was joined with the energy, the light.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I don’t know. I feel as if the feeling of being part of an essence of a larger whole was familiar. It was not in any way scary. It was totally comforting. So I don’t know if I had been there before, or if it informed me that I had. I believe I have had other lives. Why? I don’t know, and I can’t tell you why I believe that, other than the feeling that there is so much more after we die, that we have to have other lives. I can’t describe it well.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Again, I felt it. It was real. Realer than real. It was the essence; I keep using that word, as I can’t come up with a better word to describe something that is beyond description.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
I felt a 'higher power'/God/supreme being, whatever you want to call it. I didn’t see with my eyes; I felt his/her/its being. I heard/felt when I was asked if I had experienced life.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I have always, since I was a child, felt I knew when things would happen. For example, when a certain person would call on the phone, and then they did. Or when someone would say or do something, and then it happened.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain
I felt that love, joy and peace are the most important and most essential things.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I was not given the information. I felt that that was true.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain
I can 'tap into' the feelings I had in the experience. I think it is a way of reminding me that there is more. That life is about love, acceptance, joy. I feel as if I exude it sometimes. I don’t want to sound like I’m special; I’m not, but that’s how it feels. I had an experience in a shop one day. This was maybe a year after my nighttime experience. I was buying something at a small store. The woman looked at me and told me that I had a light, a glow, something emanating from me. I didn’t feel anything in particular. I did feel as if I had helped that woman by being there, but I had no idea I was doing it.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain
I don’t think so. But the feeling of being sent back was heartbreaking.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
I felt love. I felt it and seemed to be part of it, part of the love that was the very place I was in. I felt that place was infinite. It wasn’t just one place, but multitudes of places. That love filled the infinite universe of time, which really doesn’t exist.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
Again, I don’t seem to have the words to adequately explain my thoughts and feelings. I feel that I have always been pretty intuitive, and have been told I was extremely perceptive. I feel that I continue that, but in a more loving way. I feel that many of life’s occurrences and things that happen are not as important as we think they are. I see people worrying about things that really have no meaning in the bigger picture. I know things will be okay, even if there are hard things in life. I know there is more.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I think they are deeper. That is what I try to do. Not so much consciously, but I try to be more aware, present, and listen as deeply as possible.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I couldn’t explain to my husband what I had felt and experienced. I used words, but they didn’t really do justice to what it was I had experienced. I still can’t. I can’t explain the light, or the incredible, overpowering, all-encompassing love and joy. But I can still feel it, tap into it, when I need/want to. It isn’t quite as strong as it was, but I can still feel some of it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I wrote it all down after it happened, not immediately but soon. For at least a year, I felt it every day. The first week, I felt as if I wasn’t walking around; I was somehow floating around. I can still tap into the feelings it gave me, left me with, and gifted me with.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
I don’t think I do. I don’t really know. I am very interested in telepathy and have listened to the Telepathy Tapes several times. My daughter, who is an OT, has experienced some herself. I feel there is more I can do and wish I had more time to do so.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I can’t really explain. It made me more content, but that isn’t quite right. It made me more loving and joyful, but again, that isn’t quite it either. I feel I am more connected to something outside this existence.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Only a couple of people. They have to be people who I think will accept it. One person, who I thought would accept it, told me I had to have been on something. I was not. There are a couple of people who seemed very touched and uplifted by my telling them about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Real. It was real. It was realer than real. I felt the experience. I did not just see it in my mind’s eye or watch it like TV. I was more than part of it. I was part of it by being part of the energy/essence of the experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
As above. It was real. Realer than real. It will always be real. It was not a dream, although I use that word since it happened at night, as a way to start to explain it. When I read other people’s experiences or see something that tries to show the light, I feel it as real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
As much as it can be explained. Thank you for this opportunity.

Anything else to add? There is no way to adequately explain what I felt. I tried. I don’t know if this was even worth writing here, as I did not have a true NDE in the sense of having died in a hospital, car crash, crime, or something else. But to me, it was an NDE or maybe some other sort of similar thing. It was a gift to be given this experience. I am forever thankful for it.