Donna A NDE

Experience Description

I was violently sexually assaulted and choked to death. I yelled 'no,' 'don't,' and 'stop' while trying to push him off me. I wasn't strong enough because I had been drinking. I did fight back, though, by trying to push him away, and I said no plenty of times. Because I was fighting him, he put pressure on top of my head to force me to my knees and then started choking me. The last thing he said to me was, 'Are you having trouble?' in a very sarcastic tone of voice, followed by his laughter because he knew the answer and was enjoying hurting me. I was terrified. My last thought in my body was, 'You're killing me.'

My spirit left my body and I was floating above us and in the corner of the room. I was confused about how I could see the room from above. I didn't ask a question out loud, but I thought to myself, 'How can this be? How am I floating above us?' This confusion was sensed by something outside of me. I was told without words that there was an answer to my question, but I had to keep floating up, farther away from my body. I felt like I was being coaxed to continue floating away. I was taken to what I thought at first was a science museum exhibit. It was a familiar place from my memories of a time when my brother and I used to go to the museum as kids with my grandpa. My brother and my grandpa were not there. It was just me. I felt very calm, loved, safe, and at peace in this place. The room seemed like a normal science exhibit that was along, or part of, a long, dark hallway. It was not loud or completely silent. It was kind of quiet, but there was a feeling of musical notes or chime-like tones. It felt and sounded like an enjoyable musical note that resonated. It felt like something similar to a vibrato from a stringed instrument. I sensed that a presence was with me. I was somehow told without words that the magnets in front of us, on display at the science museum exhibit, were related to how my spirit came out of my body. It was explained that opposite sides of the magnets attract, but if you try to push together the same sides of two magnets, the magnets will repel each other. The magnetic repelling force was used to take my spirit out of my body.

I felt a profound sense of comfort and gratitude to learn about the magnets and to be in the science museum. I was appreciative of the presence who was with me. I looked around. I didn't see anyone I knew with me in the museum or in the hallway. It was just me and the presence. I was given free will to walk around, and it was communicated to me that I could even walk down the hallway if I wanted to. I looked down the hallway. It was dark and looked like it had only a tiny light at the end. Time was moving slower, or almost not moving, in the hallway. It was not a rushed decision. I turned around. I chose to walk in the other direction, back toward my dead body.

I woke up in my body. I couldn't immediately move my body. My body felt like rubber or Jello. I wanted to quietly get up and run out of the room, but my body wouldn't move easily. It took ten or so minutes just to stand up.

I later learned from my mom that she somehow sensed I was in danger and freaked out worrying about me. I didn't text her or ask for help, but somehow she knew without any communication that I needed help. While I was out of my body, she had tried to track my last known location from my cell phone. She actually went to that last known cell phone location immediately. She knocked on the door of the guy's house. She asked where I was and demanded to come inside his house. She pushed past him and started shouting my name inside his house, calling out for me. My cell phone had died earlier in the night when we were at that house. This was not the same location as the apartment where I was raped and choked to death. My cell phone's last known location wasn't where my body actually was, so my mom didn't have a way to find me.

After escaping, I went to an urgent care. I really struggled to find words to communicate. Once I was in a patient room and a nurse was asking me why I came in today, I managed to say something along the lines of, 'I was with a guy who may have AIDS. I saw him last night and I did not think I was going to have sex with him. I think I may have been exposed to AIDS. He had more than 40 partners. I'm here for the anti-AIDS medicine.' I didn't actually know if he had AIDS. In hindsight, I think I was maybe overreacting, but I wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally get AIDS from him. He did mention, randomly and without me asking that night, how many partners he had, so it started me worrying about STDs.

The nurse listened to me and then she started crying. Not just tearing up, but the nurse was crying passionately. I didn't know who she was. The nurse said, 'I know I don't know you, but you remind me of my daughter. She is close to your age, and I know she doesn't look like you, but I see my daughter in you! I would hate for something like this to happen to my daughter!' She looked close to my mom's age. She was black and I was white, so the connection was not because of a surface level trait like a similarity in our looks. The connection was something else. At first, I thought the nurse must be kind and empathic and that I somehow must have triggered her mom instincts.

I later reflected on what had happened. It wasn't that I was just a daughter and the nurse was a mom with typical empathy. It was almost as if the nurse was mirroring my mom's distress from knowing that her own daughter was in danger. The nurse, who was a complete stranger, felt my mom's anguish from having an unexplainable knowing that her own daughter had just died. The nurse was responding with intense emotion, followed by telling me she would hate for what happened to me to happen to her own daughter. My mom was not with me at the urgent care physically, but I believe somehow my mom's energy or spirit was with me in the urgent care room, and that is what I think triggered the nurse to break down crying so passionately.

Before my NDE, I wasn't paying attention to the full value of my life. I thought my life was not worth much to me because I was struggling with a chronic pain problem. I wasn't suicidal, but I was feeling very sad prior to the assault and NDE. After the NDE, I realized my life still had meaning even if I was in pain, because I had free will to change my focus or what I pay attention to. I understood my circumstances were not the value of my life. My spirit and my connection to others were worth it to come back. Eventually my nerve pain did get better too, but it took time. My outlook went from depressed to hopeful, knowing I didn't need perfect circumstances to be okay.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 00/00/2018

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I was violently sexually assaulted and choked to death by a trusted friend. I had been drinking beforehand, and date-rape drugs may have been involved.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I was very alert in the science museum. Once out of my body, I had a clear memory compared to my in-body memory before it happened.
I had a bird's-eye view of everything in the room when I was floating away.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Time sped up while I traveled to the science museum. Time slowed down once we were there, and I didn't move fast again until I was sent back to my body.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I had a bird's-eye view of everything in the room when I was floating away.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Sounds were louder in everyday life. During the experience, sounds were soft, gentle, elaborate, delicate, and very beautiful.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
When I was floating up to the science museum, I was passing through something very quickly. Time slowed down once the presence and I were at the science museum, but it was kind of like being halfway in the hallway. I didn't go all the way through the hallway.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt very calm, loved, cared for, safe, grateful, and at profound peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
We are all spirits in our bodies. No spirit is more important than another spirit. We all deserve love. We are all learning. We are all one. We are safe when our bodies die. The solution to earthly problems is compassion. Blame is a boomerang. It hurts many of us.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I was standing at the science museum, which was part of a long dark hallway. I was given the choice to go to the light at the end of the hallway or go back to my body. I went back to my body.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Atheist

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other faiths - New age

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I was an atheist before the NDE. I'm no longer an atheist.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I thought if my circumstances were unfair or not ideal, my life wasn't worth appreciating. After the NDE, I realized I don't need ideal circumstances to be okay.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
There was a presence with me that guided me and communicated without words. I didn't hear a voice, but the presence was a being.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
I was aware that we are all the same source and we are all one.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
I learned each spirit is held in a physical body with a magnetic field.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
The solution is compassion.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
We all deserve love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I'm less fearful of risks.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
It took many years before I had words to describe it. Processing the whole dying experience was overwhelming. I had PTSD from the assault. I also don't completely know how to describe what the presence was. It didn't have a recognizable form or shape.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember exactly what happened in the NDE even though it's been years. I can't remember everyday life from years ago with as much detail.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The magnet demonstration part. It was a setting that was familiar. It felt profoundly peaceful in the room. It also helped me handle my PTSD by thinking of magnets instead of what happened to my physical body.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real
I assumed it must have been a dream.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I didn't know what an NDE was for a long time. When I discovered other NDE stories, I realized there were some similarities between my experience and those of others that were hard to ignore. I can also remember everything without getting as overwhelmed by PTSD now that I'm older.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes