Darin P Probable NDE

Experience Description

Since late 2011, I have struggled with flying. My fear most often manifests as massive panic attacks during turbulence.

Before departing from Oklahoma City for Chicago, where I would catch a connecting flight to Frankfurt, Germany, I took several substances that I had obtained from friends. I took muscle relaxers, two Percocet or Vicodin pills of unknown strength, and two THC gummies. I also drank a shot of vodka as a chaser.

While seated on the plane shortly before takeoff, I became sleepy and weak. I closed my eyes and prayed softly to myself. The plane ascended without causing me much panic. Then the pilot announced that the flight attendants should remain seated with their seat belts fastened. I took this as a warning that the flight would be turbulent.

Within approximately thirty minutes, I became completely listless. I could barely hold my head up. I remember mentally shutting down, as though I were collapsing within myself.

I felt as though I were slipping through an escape hatch in the floor and sliding through a doorway into another reality. I was no longer aware of being on the plane. I entered a world where the only sounds were my prayers for the plane and my pleas to be rescued from the torment of the turbulence.

My world existed within a hazy cocoon of light and warmth. My senses were so overwhelmed that I seemed to feel either nothing or everything at once.

Occasionally, I fell out of the cocoon when one of my arms convulsed. For a moment, I would see the inside of the plane. When this happened, I did not understand why I was seeing the interior of an airplane. I had forgotten why I was there.

I believe I experienced three or four tremors in my limbs. Each one briefly brought me out of the cocoon. After the final tremor, I looked at the plane through squinting eyes. My lips and face felt tingly, as though the skin had fallen asleep. It was similar to the sensation we experience when we sit in one position for too long and a leg falls asleep.

I considered trying to remain aware of the plane, but doing so required too much effort. Every moment inside the plane felt heavy, cold, loud, and chaotic. I easily allowed myself to slip back into the cocoon.

This time was different. Instead of entering the cocoon, I passed through it and entered what seemed like an alien world.

I was standing on or near cliffs above an ocean. The waves crashed powerfully against the shoreline, yet they carried no sense of anger, drama, or excitement. I could not even hear them. The waves simply existed.

I stood facing a small building or house made of rock or stone. The ocean was to my right. The house appeared to rest below me on a small outcropping of earth extending from the cliff.

The sky above the house, the ledge beneath me, and the ocean beside me were all filled with shades of purple and lavender. Stars shone through the sky, but it did not feel like nighttime. I could see galaxies, comets, and stars. The sight was beautiful, powerful, and comforting.

As I focused on the small stone house, I sensed that others were near me. Their presence did not feel sudden. It was not as though something had appeared. It felt more like my eyes had opened on another level. They seemed to have been there all along, although I had previously been unable to perceive them.

I could see and feel beings standing side by side in front of the house. They were all oriented toward me. Although I describe them as standing and facing me, these energies had no recognizable shapes or features.

They resembled large bubbles floating in the air. I could perceive their roundness and transparency. Each one also had a distinct outer edge, similar to the thin surface of a bubble formed from soap and air.

These energies felt instantly familiar. I felt that I belonged to them and that they belonged to me. It seemed that they had expected me, but it also felt as though I had always been there with them on that path.

I felt no panic, wonder, newness, or memory. The feeling was deeper than any of those things. I felt that I existed with them, had always existed with them, and always would.

The word always does not adequately describe the experience because there was no sense of time in the purple place. Everything was there simply because it was. There was no before or after. I was expected to be there because it felt as though I had never left.

There was nothing sudden about my arrival. As I watched the beings move toward the door of the cabin, I knew that I would go with them.

I sensed myself moving whatever served as my limbs. As I moved toward the beings, the air felt like warm water. Everything seemed to exist within an invisible substance made of warmth, water, or oil.

I loved being there. I felt drawn to that place, and leaving it made no sense to me.

Suddenly, I fell back into the cocoon. Then, in an almost painful awakening, I returned to the plane. I could hear my wife whispering to me. I recognized her, but for an instant, I did not recognize myself.

This did not feel like me. The plane was loud, cold, heavy, and filled with separation. I did not like being there, but I gradually began to accept it.

After several seconds or minutes, I remembered how to be myself. I remembered how to breathe and how to exist in this reality. Awareness is not quite the right word because I felt extremely limited in what I could perceive. It was more like a reluctant acceptance of my existence on the plane.

The more I heard my wife's voice and opened my eyes, the more this reality returned. At the same time, the cocoon and the purple place receded. Eventually, every lingering sensation from those places disappeared. I was left with the reality of the flight and the mission of living the rest of my life.

As I regained consciousness, my terrified wife shook me gently. She told me that she had seen my body trembling. She then noticed that all the color had drained from my face and that my lips were turning blue.

In hindsight, the loss of color may have been connected to the pins-and-needles sensation and the feeling that my face had fallen asleep.

I do not know whether I passed into another realm. I do not know whether I died or came close enough to death for my soul to leave my body. The experience may have been a hallucination caused by a lack of oxygen.

Even if the entire experience came from within my mind, I remain deeply impressed by it. I can still feel and remember it more vividly than any dream I have ever had. When I think about it, I can almost feel myself there again. The memory gives me comfort.

I am still nervous about flying, but I have sworn off strong medications and dangerous combinations of substances. I am now working through my fear of flying in healthier ways.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 11/00/2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Drug cocktail affected my respiration.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I don't understand the question. I suppose there was a point as I moved towards the beings, and I started to feel like I understood where I was.
I had a depth of knowledge and peace about existence I couldn't dream of having now.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I might have been in that state, physically, several minutes, but while I was there, I'd always been there.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience No reading glasses. I could see through and into the universe with focus beyond description. I could see things but also know or feel their existence.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Hearing: I didn't seem to hear anything, but I knew the thing. The sounds were part of the reality, not separate.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
There were 'bubbles' of energy around me. I knew they were there but not with my eyes.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The skies and the way things existed around me glowed and presented themselves to me where I felt part of everything. I didn't 'see' like hearing; I simply knew everything around me. Sight and sound were of the same thing.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
A planet or a space within the universe.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? comfort, support, love, acceptance.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I had no questions about this life or the next. I was there and everything felt obvious. I didn't have questions because everything was real to me. "knowing" was my state of being.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Protestant
I grew up evangelical Christian, but in later years I've changed my belief, laying down the idea of eternal conscious torment.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Do not know
I'm generally Christian, though I mistrust half of the current theology in most churches.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I believe we exist outside this realm. That experience was evidence of that, but the style of existence was not particularly Christian-based.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I mean, I suppose that experience told me existence there is the real version of "me", of my soul. That's what life is, and this is a distraction or excursion from that existence.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life
No changes. Just certainty of what I might expect.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
When I close my eyes I can nearly be there again. It's more than remembering a dream. It feels like I was my true self there.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The peace and acceptance, no worry about this earthly life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
The next day I shared with my wife. She believes I believe I experienced it, for whatever that is worth.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
My father claimed to have one in the 1960s, and I'd read and seen programs about the experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I know what happened: I became tethered, or realized my tether, to that existence. That is who I am. Earth is where I am.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
See above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Very good questions, made me think, and remember.

Anything else to add? No, thank you.