Courtney O NDE

Experience Description

Around the age of 28, I was living in an apartment with my young daughter, who was three or four at the time. One morning I woke with a terrible pain in my stomach. The pain was so severe it felt like I was being stabbed. I couldn’t move or even get up to use the restroom. So, someone took me to the emergency room immediately. I was left in the waiting room for an hour or two in agonizing pain. My eyes even rolled back. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced; far worse than childbirth. I had a history of drug addiction at the time, having used hard drugs for most of my life.

When I finally saw a doctor, I described the horrible stomach pain that had started when I woke. He ordered tests. The doctor knew of my history of addiction and was convinced that was the cause of my pain. I had a CAT scan, an MRI, and every test imaginable, but they found nothing. The only irregularity was my white blood cell count of 15,000. Although this is an unsafe level that is above the 9,000 to 10,000 range. The hospital said I had to stay until my blood count normalized, but they still couldn't diagnose the problem. The staff were often rude and disrespectful, suggesting that with my lifestyle I deserved it or had caused it myself.

I had no one to watch my daughter, and they told me they would place her in a local shelter until I was released. I refused and said I would leave with her. When I got up, they warned I would die if I left. They gave me time to call my mother, who traveled to care for my daughter so I could remain hospitalized. My stay was horrible. The staff were mean and rough with me, blowing three or four veins in my arms from forceful handling.

One night, my hospital room seemed to fill with smoke. I panicked, thinking there was a fire. Then a bright, white light shone down and a voice said, "It's okay, just come this way." It was my grandmother's voice who had passed away in 2005. I was so happy to be leaving. I knew I was leaving this world and everything behind; and I felt pure joy. I was almost running toward that light when I stopped just before reaching it. I asked, "What about Sara, my daughter?" I didn't get an answer, but I felt I gave myself one. She has no one else to care for her, so I can't leave. I need to go back.

When I woke, a doctor and a revival team had paddles on me. They said they were the rapid response team and I had gone into cardiac arrest. This happened three or four times during my stay. Each time, I was happy to be leaving, but I couldn't leave my daughter, so I chose to stay. Throughout my life, I’ve had these experiences every so often; always choosing to stay for my kids. It makes me wonder if death is often a choice.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 11/01/2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Going into cardiac arrest four times.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I was able to look down and see my eyes closed and my body lying in the bed with me.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I came to after they paddled my heart to start it beating again.
I was very aware of what I was doing and what I wanted or did not want to do.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time at all.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I have been blind in one eye my whole life, so I'm not sure the difference in my vision. It was different because I was very intelligent in a psychic fashion more than a speaking fashion.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience As far as my five senses, they seemed about normal.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I became aware of my grandmother.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
It was a big, bright white light that came down from the sky.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt amazing until I realized that I had to stay. Then I was not feeling as amazing, but I knew I had to for my daughter.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I had no questions anyway. I found that wherever I was going, I knew everything without question, except for what would happen to my daughter if I left.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
It was like watching a movie of my life. However, the truth was revealed, including everyone's motives and reasons, and it was actually very sad.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
I love God and God loves me and has since I can remember.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Well, it actually was more like what I had been told, so maybe it was my subconscious that made it that way. I am not sure, but having my grandmother there, the bright white light, the room filling up with smoke, it almost seems too perfectly like what the narrative has been.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I heard my grandmother before I saw her.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
God was there the entire time.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I can't explain it. I just saw everything there was to see.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I knew what was waiting on the other side, and I knew it was like a whole other life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life
No changes whatsoever.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
It was amazing, and I remember all of my near-death experiences more vividly than any detail of my actual life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
My intuition has become very clear, and I am usually very aware of a person's motives, character, or personality. I often know what they are about to do or say before they do it.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not really.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I think I shared it right away, but people don't really listen and I don't believe much of what I say.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I didn't think about it too much. I knew it really happened, and I was grateful for it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
Well, I don't know. I just know that God and I are tight. He always has been.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I've probably had three or four other experiences that had to do with life or death at the same time.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes