Chase D NDE

Experience Description

On the morning of April 1, 2008, I was twenty years old and serving as an enlisted Airman, a Public Affairs journalist at Langley Air Force Base in Virginia. I had injured both knees in SERE training and was going through the medical retirement process. I was depressed about losing the military career I had planned. That morning I didn't report to work, and my supervisor found me unconscious on my dorm room floor. I was taken to the hospital at Langley.

In the hospital I felt surprisingly normal. The staff ran tests and found no clear reason I had collapsed. They told me that if a chest X-ray came back normal, I would probably go home. A nurse adjusted the IV in my arm and walked out, and then the alarms started. My vision went hazy, and everything seemed to slow down while people rushed into the room.

While the staff worked over me, I felt someone sit down on my left and begin stroking my arm. A calm man's voice told me everything was going to be okay. He said I would feel pain moving up my arm, that air was traveling toward my heart, and that it would stop my heart. Then the pain came, sharp and excruciating, like something far too large being forced through a space far too small, moving up my left arm. My right leg kicked up. Each time I tried to look left, I couldn't. When I finally could, no one was there, and there was barely room beside the bed for anyone to have been sitting. I could see the monitor, and I watched the line go flat. I remember the shock on the faces of the people trying to help me. An air embolism from the IV had stopped my heart.

Then the pain gave way to an incredible coolness in my chest, as if my chest had opened and light was pouring out. The closest comparison I have is ice-cold water on a hot Florida day, only far stronger. I felt myself leave my body. I felt free, happy, and weightless, and I began moving upward. I didn't stay in the room watching. I went straight to heaven. I passed through a beautiful tunnel surrounded by love. The light was brighter than the sun but cool, and it felt welcoming. I felt small presences traveling with me; "angels" is the closest word I have. I heard delicate, cheerful sounds like bells or wind chimes.

The next place I remember was a garden. The colors were greens, blues, purples, and reds, more vivid than anything on Earth. The plants felt alive, and I felt connected to absolutely everything. I felt dirt and grass under my bare feet. That stood out because I normally hate walking barefoot. Far ahead were a man and a small child. Then, without walking, I was a few feet away. The little boy, about three or four, with curly blond hair, was running ahead and looking back, being cheeky, while the man followed with his hands behind his back, smiling and letting him think he was escaping. I realized the little boy was me, in heaven. I had been that happy once, before I started taking everything so seriously.

The man turned toward me, and I knew immediately that it was Jesus. He had short curly brown hair, green eyes, a tanned complexion, and a broad smile, and he wore a white robe. He looked young and healthy, very different from the suffering figure on the cross I grew up seeing in church. The strongest feeling was that I had come home. We communicated without speaking, in the way we do here, and I understood a great deal at once. I had been taking life too seriously. The joy I saw in that little boy had always been in me. I was to spread light, love, and laughter, and the laughter felt especially emphasized. It was predetermined that I was going back. Jesus smiled and let me know, "You have to go back," and I went without argument, like finishing a visit with someone you love. I smiled back, and then I was back.

I opened my eyes in a dim room in a different hospital, a civilian hospital in Hampton, Virginia, with no monitors attached. A nurse and then a doctor came in, both looking surprised, and told me I would be sent back to the Air Force. It was now April 2. I can't say how long my heart was stopped or how much of that time was treatment and transport; I can only say where my memories stop and start again. I was starving. I called a friend, and we went to Chick-fil-A. I then took a couple of days in Washington, D.C. My arm was badly bruised where the IV had been, and follow-up heart monitoring found nothing wrong with my heart. I was medically retired from the Air Force in July 2008. For about twelve years, I shared the experience only with a small circle of family and friends, until a Wounded Warrior Project retreat and counseling in 2020 helped me find language for it and led me to the near-death experience community.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 04/01/2008

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Cardiac arrest in the hospital at Langley Air Force Base on April 1, 2008, at age 20, caused by an air embolism from my IV. No CPR. I later woke up in a civilian hospital in Hampton, Virginia, on April 2.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? In heaven, in the garden, especially when I recognized the little boy as myself and then recognized Jesus.
I was far more alert and far more present than usual. Everything was more vivid and alive than ordinary life. I felt everything: warmth, joy, my feet in the dirt. It was nothing like a dream.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time was fast and slow at the same time. The exchange with Jesus felt long because of how much I understood, yet I can relive the memory in moments. I wasn't keeping track of minutes.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Colors were far more vivid than anything I had seen. Greens, blues, purples, and reds held a brightness ordinary colors can't. The light was brighter than the sun but didn't hurt.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I heard delicate, cheerful sounds like bells or wind chimes and felt laughter in them. Communication with Jesus was not spoken aloud; I understood him directly.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
A beautiful tunnel surrounded by love, as I moved upward into a bright, cool, welcoming light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I saw Jesus, and I saw myself as a little boy in heaven. I did not see deceased family or friends.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
It began as light pouring out of my chest, then surrounded me as I moved upward. It was brighter than the sun but cool rather than hot. The brightness and the happiness felt like the same thing.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I went straight to heaven: a garden, almost like a forest, with a dirt path, flowers, and trees in colors more vivid than anything on Earth. It seemed to go on far beyond what I could take in, and everything felt alive and connected.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Entirely blissful: freedom, joy, love, safety, a sense of coming home, familiarity, and gentle humor.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I understood how I had become tangled up in fear about my future and how much I had been taking life too seriously. It felt like being reminded of things I already knew.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
It was predetermined that I was going back. Jesus smiled and let me know, 'You have to go back,' and I went without argument. It felt natural, like the end of a visit with someone you love, not something against my will.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic
I was raised Catholic by my Italian Catholic grandparents in Orlando, and we went to church on Sundays. I believed in Jesus, but my faith was mediocre and inconsistent. At twenty, I wasn't focused on it. If you had asked me the night before what happens when we die, I might have joked about meeting Elvis and having milk and cookies.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I am incredibly more spiritual and connected to my faith than before. My faith became personal rather than something I attended. I pray and I meditate, which for me means becoming quiet and listening.

What is your religion now? Christian - Catholic
Catholic. I am incredibly more spiritual and connected to my faith than before. I believe I encountered Jesus, and he is part of my everyday life. I have a deeper love of everything and everyone. I pray and I meditate, and I respect that others may understand these questions differently.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I was raised Catholic and believed in Jesus, so meeting him fit my upbringing. But he looked nothing like the suffering figure on the cross I grew up seeing; he was young, healthy, smiling, and playful. And I never expected to see myself as a little boy in heaven with him.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I stopped measuring my worth by career, money, and comparison, and I made joy, laughter, love, and being present with people my priorities. I have a deeper love of everything and everyone. It took years to live that consistently.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
In heaven I saw Jesus, and I knew him immediately. Before that, while I was still in the hospital bed, I heard a calm man's voice on my left and felt someone stroking my arm, but no one was there when I could finally look. As I moved upward, I felt small presences around me; 'angels' is the closest word I have.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes
Jesus. He looked young and healthy, with short, curly brown hair, green eyes, a tanned complexion, a broad smile, and a white robe. That was very different from the suffering figure on the cross I grew up with. The recognition was immediate and complete.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I felt deeply familiar with Jesus and with being there, as though I was remembering something, but I can't point to specific earlier memories.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
I felt connected to absolutely everything. The whole garden seemed alive and in communication, a sense of belonging within something living.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
I saw Jesus and felt a love and familiarity that needed no introduction.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
To spread light, love, and laughter, and to remember the joy I had as a child.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
I received a message to spread light, love, and laughter. Life is meant to be lived with joy, and my worth wasn't measured by the career I had planned.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I went straight to heaven after my heart stopped, and I felt fully myself and fully alive. Being there felt like coming home.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
Laughter matters. That part of the message felt italicized. Joy can be found in small, ordinary moments, not only in big accomplishments.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
I understood that I had been taking life too seriously and letting fear about work, money, and the future decide whether my life was worthwhile. It wasn't permission to drop responsibilities, but those concerns didn't define my worth.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
The feeling of love and being loved filled everything: the tunnel, the light, being with Jesus, and watching him with the little boy, like a father with his son.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
Everything is incredibly elevated. I have no fear of death, and I have strong faith and a strong sense of purpose. Before, my faith was mediocre and my sense of purpose was low. Almost immediately, I wanted to live more fully. After my medical retirement in July 2008, I said yes to things I'd always been curious about: stand-up comedy classes in Virginia Beach (I headlined the graduation show), ballroom dance instructor training, breakdancing, photography, sports announcing, radio, and DJ work, which led me to Carnival cruise ships, where I met my wife, Sarah. Later I drifted into a serious corporate life and lost touch with that joy, until a Wounded Warrior Project's Project Odyssey retreat in October 2020 and the counseling afterward helped me reconnect. I went back to school, joined IANDS, and began speaking publicly.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
Early on, I chased new experiences so intensely that I probably strained some friendships. Over time, I've learned to be more present with my wife and sons, to receive care as well as give it, and to listen to veterans without needing their stories to match mine.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Language can bring someone to the edge of the memory without letting them see it. Even calling the light 'white' is too small, and I can name the garden's colors but not the feeling that came with them. I often wish I could paint it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Absolutely clearer than other events from 2008. It's still easy to feel all the emotions and feelings. The dirt under my feet, the little boy's laugh, and Jesus' smile are among the clearest memories of my life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Since my experience, my intuition is much stronger. I often have a sense of knowing what someone else is going through: their issues, struggles, or pain. I have premonitions almost daily that come true. Electronics also tend to break around me. I try to be careful and kind about what I share.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The little boy. Seeing myself so free and happy in heaven reminded me how much of myself I had buried under expectations. And Jesus' smile, and the message to spread light, love, and laughter, especially the laughter. Now, as a father of two boys, that image means even more.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I told a friend right away that I had died and was starving, and I joked about it on Facebook on April 2, 2008. For about twelve years, I shared the fuller account only with family, close friends, and people I trusted, because I feared being judged or seen as unfit in a military culture. Around 2020, a priest advised me not to tell people, which discouraged me. In 2020, after my counselor asked, 'Did you have a near-death experience?' I found Diane Corcoran's work with veterans and IANDS and began speaking publicly. Now, other veterans often quietly share their own experiences with me after I speak.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
Absolutely real, realer than real. I knew what I remembered: the flat line, the coolness in my chest, the tunnel, my feet in the garden. I joked about it because I was twenty and didn't know how to talk about it, but I never doubted it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
It is still realer than real. It remains one of the clearest memories of my life. It is still easy to feel all the emotions, and it has shaped every major choice since. I share it as personal testimony, and I respect that others may see it differently.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
Years later, on a quiet airplane flight, I felt a powerful presence wrap around me and recognized Jesus with the same familiarity. The message was that it isn't my job to carry everyone else's pain; I need to let people live their own human experience. He also gave me the image of the sun: even at night, when we can't see it, it's still there. That image helped give meaning to 'Chase the Light.'

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Mostly. The hardest parts to capture are the felt quality of the tunnel, the light, the garden, and the humor and warmth of being with Jesus.

Anything else to add? I'm a U.S. Air Force veteran, and I kept this mostly private for twelve years partly because of fear of how it would be received in the military. I hope sharing it helps other service members and veterans feel less alone. Pioneers like Col. Diane Corcoran, who became a mentor to me, made that possible. My doctorate is in holistic counseling, a nonclinical field; I'm not a medical doctor or licensed mental health provider. My story will always be free to hear.