Cecile Brancher

Experience Description

I remember a corridor, although it was not really a tube. It was more like a path leading toward a light above me. I remember saying that I was up there.

There was a great and benevolent light. It was a wonderful place. There were many kind people around me. I also remember seeing a man on a white horse, although I am less certain about that image. I felt an overwhelming sense of bliss.

At one point, I joked that I had been there before the others and that it was my turn to pass. I even gave them my maiden name to impress them. I was told to wait in line like everyone else.

I wanted to move farther toward the light, but I was held back. I was told that I could not go because it was not my time.

Then I felt myself being pulled backward. I tried to prevent myself from returning. Having to come back was frightening. I remembered that I had to return to take care of my children. My husband would not know how to raise them without me. They needed me. They were four, six, and eight years old. I was their mother. I needed them, and they needed me. They were my babies. I had breastfed each of them for more than six months. They were born in 1984, 1986, and 1988.

At that point, I remember thinking about my children. After my return, I remember nothing more for a period of time.

Later, I was hysterical. I loved life, and I loved the kind people who were taking care of me. I understood that I had experienced something extraordinary that very few people ever experience. When I tried to share the experience, no one understood what I was trying to say. Words felt completely inadequate. I had no words for it, so I shut myself away.

Even the psychiatrists told me that everything was okay. Before the accident, I loved driving. I had no memory of the accident itself. I had been pretty. I was not tall, but I had charm. Now I had a hole in my trachea, and my face was disfigured. For them, that explained everything. They concluded that I was grieving the loss of my former life.

I think I recognized the experience as an NDE two or three years later. At the time, however, people around me did not talk about such things. My brothers said that I had been incoherent. My parents stayed at my bedside for a month, but then they had to leave. Afterward, there was no contact. I felt as though my accident and everything connected with it had become an annoyance to them.

Before I understood that I was in the hospital, I remember having a recurring nightmare. I was on a runaway bus, and I had absolutely no idea who I was. I had no awareness of my life, my family, or my children. I kept thinking that I had to go to work. I had no sense of time. I could not understand why they would not let me get up.

I remember a machine making noise while I was being fed through my nose. I could not understand why I was being fed that way. A spoon had been attached to the hospital bed so I could use it to call for help. I also wondered how I was supposed to use the bathroom. Everything happening to me seemed strange.

A person dressed in green intensive care clothing seemed familiar to me. This person told me that my mother was complaining because my dog, Ustou, an Irish setter, had come inside covered in mud and had dirtied the kitchen floor that she had just washed.

Suddenly, I felt as though I had returned to my own world. I had the impression that I had teleported into the kitchen and could see the scene. My beloved dog had often come home dirty and crossed the kitchen, leaving muddy tracks across the red tile floor.

Then I remembered my children. I felt that I had abandoned them. I no longer knew where I had parked my car. I had a tracheotomy and could not speak, but I did not understand that no sound was coming from my mouth. My husband could not understand anything I was trying to say.

Even today, I still sometimes have the sensation of teleporting to places.

I had suffered damage to my eyes, but I did not realize that I could not see properly.

My family was not kind to me during that time. My parents came to see me. My mother's hard expression frightened me. My father cried at my bedside.

Later, I remembered that my sister had also come to see me. She kept saying, "My little sister, my little sister."

I am the youngest of five children. I had believed that my brothers and sisters would take care of me, but that did not happen. Instead, I felt that they took advantage of my weakness.

I asked to see my children, but the nurses refused. I did not understand that I was disfigured. I also had an Orthofix device with a pin in my right leg.

I tried to look at my body and could not understand what I was seeing. My thighs looked as thin as arms. Before the accident, I had been plump. The staff weighed me by lifting the four corners of the sheet beneath me. I could not understand what I was doing there or what had happened to my body.

Eventually, I was able to see my children. My little boy screamed, "That's not Mom! They changed her!" He recoiled in horror.

My youngest child wanted to climb onto the bed. We had always been inseparable, and she followed me everywhere. My mother shouted for her not to climb onto the bed with her shoes on.

My youngest has been a stranger to me ever since.

I communicated using a speaking cannula. That became part of my daily life. My children must have been horrified to see their mother in that condition.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 12/29/1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
A very serious car accident. I was alone in the car, on my way to work. A truck turned left in front of me without seeing me, the aptly named blind spot. I was saved by an ambulance driver known in the rugby world, who was able to call the helicopter to evacuate me urgently.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I don't know.
I had an impression of déjà vu; I found myself in a familiar place.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no longer any sense of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My eyesight was perfect before the accident.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My hearing was perfect before.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Rather a path.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
An immense, guiding light.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
A place different from everyday life.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I experienced ultimate happiness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
It was a familiar place where I felt good.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
I was prevented from going further.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
It was very clear; I would have liked to continue my ascent.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I take pleasure in praying and in reading about this type of experience.

What is your religion now? Christian - Catholic
I have grown closer to the Virgin Mary, and I often feel great well-being from praying. I am not a practicing Catholic because my current husband is not practicing.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
This strange feeling of a familiar place.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Love is essential.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
I understood that I was being guided, but I did not know exactly by whom.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
Given the man on horseback watching over me, it seemed certain to me that I had a connection with the Native American world.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
I think my Judeo-Christian upbringing was coming through! I was up high, where few people go!

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Of course, death is no longer a 'problem' except for those who remain, but we should not fear death; death is gentle!

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
I was surrounded by limitless love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I have been researching the experience I had through books and the internet. Even ChatGPT gave me an attentive and compassionate ear about this experience! etc.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I isolated myself, and then I met my soul mate! That helps! I lost my children because of this accident/experience! They must have thought I had taken a blow to the head.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
There are no words to express what one has experienced, and above all, no one to 'listen' to you or 'believe' you.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
It is a special kind of knowledge; there are few words to describe that difference.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I freed myself from the worry of being 'different'.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, I feel 'chosen'.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
It is extremely difficult to share these experiences with anyone; even my hospital chaplain friend was reluctant to hear me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I had just survived a very serious car accident, so experiencing this was 'logical'.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I thought I was quite 'isolated'! But no! I also thought that there were many more 'fatal' car accidents.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
It's good to dig deeper.

Anything else to add? I realized that I had also had an NDE around age 18.