Butchy D NDE

Experience Description

Near-Death Experience Account Timeline

Medical cause (established later): Cerebral hypoxia

Location: Home, upstairs bathroom

Duration of death experience: A few minutes

Stage 1: Before the collapse

I was lying on the sofa with my legs up on the arm of the sofa and my head down on a pillow, so my body was at a diagonal, legs high, head low.

I got up quickly and walked upstairs to the bathroom.

Stage 2: The collapse

As I went into the bathroom, I felt like I was going down a sinkhole.

I banged my head on the side of the bath, and everything went black.

Medical note: this was later attributed to cerebral hypoxia, meaning the brain was starved of oxygen.

Stage 3: Darkness and 360° vision

There was darkness, but I had 360-degree vision within it. I had no physical body. I could look down and all around me at once, as if my eyes were set on a sphere that could see in every direction at the same time.

Stage 4: The sound

I heard machinery to my right, a constant banging, like metal striking metal.

The banging got closer, and it struck faster and faster.

Stage 5: The images

The sound built until thousands upon thousands of images flashed in front of me, like a flip book being riffled through.

The images contained everything: every emotion, every colour, every response. It was like a documentary of everything, told at speed, so that I could understand where I was and everything that could possibly happen there.

I wasn't scared. There was no ego. I had memories of family and names in my head of what I had experienced, but there was the feeling of separation, as if I were playing a person and had left the body I was inside.

Stage 6: The trees

The images and the machinery both stopped at the same time.

An opening in the fir trees stood in the distance.

I felt myself lift, and I floated slowly towards the trees as the opening grew larger.

I couldn't see past the trees, only a light behind them, like sunlight breaking through cloud. The trees themselves were visible only as silhouettes.

Stage 7: The return

Then I was shocked back to life.

I stood up and saw my heart pumping out of my chest.

An oxygen mask was put on me.

Stage 8: Aftermath

I woke up in hospital.

I later found out that an ambulance had been parked at the end of my road on its lunch break. My girlfriend phoned 999 and they reached me very quickly. If they hadn't already been there, I would have died.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 04/01/2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? All throughout, as if it was a normal everyday feeling. Very alert.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time didn't feel like time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I wasn't worried or fearful, I was more interested in what was happening.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience A loud banging sound of metal on metal, and my thinking was, 'Where am I?'

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain
A breaking light behind a silhouetted line of fir trees.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? No emotion, just curiosity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
At that time, no, but since then I have had the feeling that everything is the same thing and all is connected. If I get upset with someone, or someone gets upset with me, it feels like I am upset with myself.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Not in the sense of everything. Only one image as previously explained in the last question.

Did scenes from the future come? Objects and things that I can't describe because I wouldn't know what to name, or even begin to try to explain them because they don't exist; along with things from the past and present. Something as simple as a ball being thrown in a playground at a lunch break by children, to running in a field, to lights being plugged into a machine. All sorts of images, all at once, all attached to a feeling and emotion.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
A line of fir trees with a bright light breaking through.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I didn't have a choice as I was lifted towards this place. I was close to the boundary but not there yet. I have a feeling that's where I would have been given a choice, and I think about what I would have chosen very much.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Atheist
Always interested in all religions.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I believe there is a higher level of consciousness that is there to guide rather than dictate, and it's down to the individual to work out.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
I have been very spiritual and have had many spiritual visions and feelings since it happened.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I'm not sure how to answer this one as it felt like everything was being shown to me all at once, so I couldn't separate consistency from non-consistency.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
The words of Jesus explain what I am trying to figure out.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
Not at that time, but I have seen the face of Jesus multiple times since and have felt the pain and emotion of Jesus when He was being treated unfairly, almost feeling as if I were being whipped, which brought me to tears.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I knew where I had been and what I was.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
It was a feeling of another level beyond the trees, not going back but going forward.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
It felt like I was playing a part for a greater being.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
Only that I felt like I was part of everything that I was being shown all at once.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
I now feel everything is connected, and since the event happened I have been on a learning journey. A path being shown as time goes by, with different experiences teaching me the way to become whole again. If I could describe it visually, it would be that I am a light that is working its way towards the greater light. The greater light will only become whole if everything or every light rejoins that one light, therefore making the greater light whole.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I've been on a journey since then in how to navigate feelings and emotions with people.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
It's the clearest memory I have from my past.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Visions and feelings of past and present. Sometimes they play out like mini-stories. Sometimes I look at strangers and get an enormous sense of emotion. If I feel someone is sad, I can see them being sad in another place, hard to describe, but a strong vision of them in a different location where that sadness came from. For example, I will be sitting on the Underground, and it's as if I connect with an electromagnetic line, and I can see a flickering of that person being sad, but the vision is also a feeling like the touch of fabric all moulded into one four-dimensional thing. It's hard to explain perfectly in words.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being in the darkness but being able to see. It doesn't make sense but it does make sense. Seeing nothing but also seeing everything. Playing a character or doing a job by creating information to upload or download into the wider reason. It's both confusing and clear at the same time. Again, hard to explain in words, but it does and doesn't make sense at the same time.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I always talk about it with people. Sometimes it happens with strangers who come up to me for no reason at all. It's both mystical and interesting.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
It felt like I was supposed to be there and it was supposed to happen.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I think about the experience often and try to look for answers with feelings inside the experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
It covered everything.

Anything else to add? Psychedelics seem to reveal a level on the way towards where I was, as if you can knock on the door to that place but can't get inside.