Brian W NDE

Experience Description

On February 16, 2019, I had a "widow maker" heart attack. It was during a snowstorm, and we had several inches of snow, so it took the ambulance 30 to 35 minutes to arrive. The ambulance took me to the nearest hospital, but the hospital lacked cardiac care. I waited almost an hour and a half to be transported. Another ambulance arrived from 40 minutes away and transported me to a hospital that had a cardiac cath lab. Once I received care, three stents were placed in my heart.

Next, I was sent to the ICU, where I was told that I had experienced a widow maker heart attack and that my LAD was 100% blocked. My ejection fraction was only 30%. I was told that I was lucky and that only 2% survive this experience. My hospitalization lasted four days.

A month later, I developed a blood clot in my heart. I was so scared because so much had happened so fast, and I was going from one traumatic situation to another. Over the next nine months, I was hospitalized several times for weakness and passing out. Each time, I was sent home with no answers as to why this was happening.

On September 18, 2019, I woke up like any other day, not feeling well. As I went to the kitchen to get a drink, I collapsed into cardiac arrest. My former son-in-law found me on the floor and said I was "blue and gray." He hollered for my daughter, and she came running up the stairs. She checked my pulse and put her hand by my nose to see if I was breathing. I was not breathing and had no pulse, so she called 911. The fire department showed up about 20 minutes later, and shortly after that, the ambulance arrived and started working on me, but I had no response.

This was my daughter's perspective.

My perspective was that everything went dark. I was hovering above my body while watching my son-in-law yell for my daughter. My daughter came running. At first, I was confused but soon realized I had passed away. As I hovered above my body, watching this scene unfold, I felt an enormous amount of peace.

In the blink of an eye, I found myself being thrust upward at a high rate of speed. At first, things seemed dark, but I quickly passed through a tunnel of clouds with a background of outer space. The clouds were illuminated with light, and in the distance I beheld a bright light. The closer I got, the more incredibly loved I felt. I felt no fear. I knew I was going home.

As I came close to the bright light, all of a sudden I found myself in a field surrounded by beautiful trees, flowers with colors that I had never seen before, and a small waterfall in the background. I stood up in amazement. Nothing had ever felt so real in my life. The trees played a beautiful melody of music.

As I looked around, all of a sudden there was a man standing next to me. He wore a white robe with a brown leather belt around it and sandals. For a moment, I wondered if he was Jesus. I instantly realized he was more like a spirit guide.

I said, "I died."

He chuckled and said, "I know."

We did not speak with our mouths. We communicated telepathically with our minds. The communication was perfectly clear.

I told him that everything was so beautiful and much more than I had imagined. He placed his hand on my shoulder and said he needed to take me somewhere.

I asked, "Where?"

He responded, "I am taking you to have a life review. Everyone goes through this process."

I began to worry a little, questioning whether I was in the right place. He somehow knew what I was thinking, and he assured me that everything was okay.

As I pondered the mistakes I had made in life, I thought I might be sent to hell for them, as religion had taught me. Once again, I heard him chuckle and say there is no hell. Hell was a man-made idea used to control people. God loves you, and He loves everyone. He would never send anyone to a place of torment.

With relief, I asked what happens to people who are truly bad.

His response was that some souls have to go through a period of restoration, but it is not hell or torment. Some people spend several lifetimes trying to correct their mistakes, but God always loves them.

As we talked, we arrived in front of a beautiful building that seemed to be made of magnificent stone and marble. When we went inside, the ceiling looked as though it were made of copper. We walked through a long hall to a large round room.

In this room sat 40 to 50 people around a large table. I felt as though I knew them all, yet I had never met any of them before.

At that time, my guide told me that I was going to have a life review.

Several screens appeared around the entire room. On those screens, different moments from my life appeared, both good and bad, and it was as though I could see them all at once. I was flooded with so much emotion that it was almost too much to bear.

I saw times when I had been kind to people and felt the joy they experienced in those moments. But I also saw times when I had been unkind, and I felt the hurt and pain I had caused through my words and actions.

I saw the scenes of when my stepdaughter committed suicide and, a year later, when my wife did the same because it was too much for her to bear. I saw, a year later, when I had my heart attack, and I saw my family sitting in the waiting room, scared and in tears.

But what I saw next was by far the hardest thing to deal with.

After my heart attack and several later hospitalizations, I was driving home from a doctor's appointment. I pulled over because I was so upset that I still had no answers as to why I was not getting better. I cried out to God in anger. I cursed Him and said, "You took my daughter and my wife, and now I am going to die and leave my baby girl all by herself and leave my parents devastated. What did I do to deserve all of this? I feel like You don't care at all. I do not understand why all of this is happening. You say You love me, but You have taken everything from me. I am angry, and I just want to die."

Unfortunately, I said other unkind things to God that day. As I watched this scene play out before me, the feeling I experienced inside was worse than any thought of hell could have been. I was ashamed, and I was deeply remorseful. I pleaded for God to forgive me for being so cruel.

Then my spirit guide placed his hand upon my shoulder, but it felt as though God Himself had touched me and reassured me that everything was okay. I am human, and God was never angry with me. He understood how much I hurt and that I was full of pain.

At that moment, I felt more unconditional love than I have ever felt before or since.

The screens vanished, and my guide asked me to go with him because he wanted to show me something. As I walked out of the room, I felt tremendous love from everyone sitting around the table.

We then walked to what appeared to be another beautiful landscape with a lake, and I was caught up in awe of its beauty. My spirit guide told me to turn around.

As I turned, I saw my wife and my great-uncle, who had passed away when I was in high school. We had been very close. I also saw a woman I had never seen before. She introduced herself as Laura Mae, yet it felt as though I had always known her. I would later find out that she was my mother's grandmother. I had never known her name was Laura because my mother had always referred to her as Grandma Mae.

I hugged them all.

I asked my wife where Haley was, my stepdaughter who had committed suicide during her first year of college. She said Haley was doing great and couldn't wait to see me.

I hugged my wife and told her that I loved her. I hugged my Uncle Lou and told him the same.

As he hugged me, he said, "You know you can't stay, boy."

Completely disappointed, I asked, "Why?"

My spirit guide said that I had more to do. As I pleaded that I didn't want to leave, he told me that God had something special for me. Then he said, "This is your home, and this will always be your home. It will be here when the time is right."

As he looked me in the eye, I suddenly had the sensation of being thrown back into my body.

I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I asked, "What's going on?"

They explained what had happened.

I couldn't help but feel completely out of place because what I had experienced was more real than this life had ever been.

My daughter later told me that they had pronounced my time of death. After several attempts to resuscitate me, my heartbeat came back on its own after 40 minutes without beating.

It took me a long time to tell this story because I was afraid people would think I was crazy and dismiss what I know to be real.

To this day, I still don't feel like I belong. I have struggled with being back here and feeling out of place, but I keep moving forward because I know I have a purpose.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 09/18/2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Cardiac arrest

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Entire time
Much more real than this life

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Seemed longer than 40 minutes

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Colors were more vivid

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience Everything was more pronounced

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
tunnel of clouds

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
My wife, my Uncle Lou, my mother's grandmother

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Very bright but did not hurt my eyes. More vibrant than I can explain.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
Explained in an essay

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme peace and extreme unconditional love

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? I remembered many past events
Life review

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I didn't want to leave

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Other Christian
Attended Christian School and Bible College. Assistant Youth Pastor for 2 years.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I follow God, not the Bible or man.

What is your religion now? Christian - Protestant
Non-religious, but thoroughly believe in God and the afterlife.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Not what the Bible teaches. No Hell. I wasn't judged. No Golden streets, no pearly gates, but much more than the Bible describes

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I am sure there is a God, and He loves us unconditionally, not out of fear of Hell.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The Spirit Guide

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I do not know, but I was told that others have more than one lifetime

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
It definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
Everything was God, from the light to the trees

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I know I am back here to show people that God isn't limited to books, regulations, or religion.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
To be kind to one another

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
There is life after death

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
In life review

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Unconditional love. God loves us no matter how much we mess up

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
When others tell me their stories, I feel their pain. I can see through people's facades

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
Things are more serious than before

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
It was hard to explain with the different colors, and the trees seemed to be singing. The whole experience was hard to explain

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
It was vivid and more real than life has ever been.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Sometimes I have dreams that are foretelling, but I do not know the exacts of the situations

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, all of it. Even the parts that were hard, like the life review. Feeling what others feel.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Almost 7 years. This is the first time I have shared it all. I have shared bits and pieces on TikTok and with a few people that I am close with.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
I knew it was more real than anything, but at the same time, I was confused.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I remember it very vividly

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
Talking about it, thinking about it, some dreams but nothing as real as the actual experience

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
A lot of this is repetitive.

Anything else to add? I wish I had understood it sooner and talked about it sooner