Brandon H NDE

Experience Description

I had a robotic rectopexy performed in Leeds. Everything went well at first. Then some of the stitches came loose, and my bowel became trapped and twisted. This caused septic shock and cardiac arrest.

The pain began very suddenly. Within thirty minutes, an ambulance was called. I remained at York Hospital for approximately three days in severe pain. I was given large amounts of morphine. I would remain conscious for a few minutes and then pass out for hours.

I was vomiting dark green bile and was connected to several machines. I was in extremely poor condition.

At one point, I woke while a doctor was speaking to my mother about trying a new anti-nausea medication. My mother was always there whenever I regained consciousness. I agreed to receive the medication and then passed out again.

The next time I woke, I felt no pain at all. Everything felt wonderful. I joked with my mother, who was relieved to see me appearing much better.

During those few minutes, a feeling of ecstasy began building inside me. It felt like a balloon filled with dopamine was expanding within my body and pushing my happiness to its limit.

Despite this wonderful feeling, I sensed that something was wrong. I looked at my mother and told her, “I am giving up now. I cannot hold it back anymore.”

Within seconds, I began slowly and peacefully rising out of my body. I could still see and hear everything happening in the room.

Several nurses rushed into the room after hearing the alarms from the machines and my mother’s scream. One of the nurses escorted my mother into the hallway. I heard my mother crying and screaming for her to go back inside and save her boy.

A doctor ran into the room and ordered someone to administer adrenaline. I then heard someone ask how long it would take to reach Leeds. Another person answered that it would take fifteen minutes.

I saw the medical team begin chest compressions and prepare the defibrillator.

In the midst of the panic, I flew out of the room and rose above the roof of the hospital. Before leaving the ward, I noticed figures made of light positioned throughout the area. They appeared to be watching what was happening.

I could not communicate with them or clearly understand what they were. They reminded me of characters in a video game that had not yet been unlocked.

Being in the sky felt extremely peaceful. I had no pain, aching, or mental fog. It simply felt good to be there.

The experience did not last long because the medical team managed to revive me. I was suddenly pulled down from the sky and forced back into my body.

Everything became black. I felt as though I were floating on water inside an enormous, empty void. I knew that I was somewhere beyond this world, but it felt completely peaceful.

There was no pain, vision, or concept of time. None of this frightened or troubled me.

I later woke at Leeds General Infirmary. My condition was stable, but I was still in agony.

I remained there for several days because the specialist surgeon who had been caring for me was on strike. My frustrated mother demanded that someone contact him.

As soon as he learned what had happened, he drove from London to Leeds in less than three hours. He then operated on me for fourteen hours and removed approximately twenty-five percent of my bowel.

After I was discharged, we returned to York Hospital to collect my phone, which had been left behind during the transfer. The head nurse who had cared for my mother had kept it safe.

I thanked the nurse for everything and apologized for my mother screaming at her. The nurse looked confused and asked what I meant.

I explained that I was referring to my mother screaming at her to save her boy. The nurse and my mother stared at each other. They said it was impossible for me to have seen or heard that conversation.

I then described everything I had heard. I asked how anyone could reach Leeds in fifteen minutes by ambulance.

The nurse explained that the fifteen-minute estimate was for an air ambulance because I had been in critical condition.

All three of us left that conversation struggling to understand what had happened.

I never received psychological help after the experience, and I regret that. I should have been given support and evaluated afterward. It was an enormous experience for a sixteen-year-old with ADHD to process.

The experience affected me deeply and caused me to struggle with the meaning of life.

Since that time, it has felt as though all my senses have been turned up to their highest level. I sometimes sense a presence or unusual atmosphere in certain rooms and places. I smell strong scents that no one else seems to notice.

I also occasionally see the same figures that reminded me of locked video game characters. They disappear when I try to focus directly on them.

There have also been times when I believed someone in my life was going to die simply from looking at that person. Some of those people later died.

As a person with ADHD, I found these experiences overwhelming. For a period of time, I relied on drugs to escape from my own thoughts.

While I was at university, I took LSD. The experience unexpectedly helped me process what had happened. It allowed me to view my heightened senses from a different perspective.

It felt as though one part of my brain had finally been switched into silent mode. I originally assumed that feeling would last only during the drug experience. Instead, it significantly changed my outlook on life.

It also helped me learn how to manage my unmedicated ADHD more effectively.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 10/20/2016

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Cardiac arrest from septic shock.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I heard my mother screaming at the nurse and the nurses talking about air transport whilst I was unconscious; that was later verified by the same nurse. I also heard them saying to administer adrenaline whilst my mum was out of the room. She verified that I did get adrenaline as the nurse let her know once I was stable.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Just prior, maybe lasted for around 5-10 minutes.
Everything just felt good. Like I'm in 100% perfect health. Physical and mental. It was the happiest I've ever felt.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time felt at a normal pace whilst I was outside of my body. Once I was into the black void, I had no concept of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I have a -1.25 prescription. I didn't have my glasses on, yet I could see perfectly. I could see the writing on the walls outside the ward I'd never be able to see.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience The ringing in my ears had gone. I could hear every squeak of a bed, footsteps, pens, trolleys, cups, everything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Uncertain
Light figures I couldn't communicate with or make out.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain
I didn't see a light at a tunnel or a bright light in the sky. I saw figures that were just these floating glowing white/blue. I couldn't quite make them out, but they would move as a normal human would, and I could hear faint noise from them. I tried speaking to them and flying through them, but they wouldn't reply or react.

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
Black void.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Ecstasy. I hadn't had that feeling until I took a pill. Dying just felt good.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about the universe
I understand that we leave our natural bodies and live on as spirits. We can do whatever we want, go wherever we please. The black void I don't understand as much, but you don't care when you're in it. I think of it as the black screen you get before the scene plays on a game.

Did scenes from your past come back? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Flickers of images of past memories, my family and friends, holiday destinations, core memories. It happened extremely fast before I entered a black void.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
I flew into the sky. I didn't wander too far as I was thinking of my mum.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I was sucked back into my body when I was floating in the sky.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated - Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated - Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I'm christened and some family are religious, but I've been a man of math and science. I never doubted a heaven or hell, as I've never experienced it. I am an animal man, so for many years I thought it'd be reincarnation. I never thought spirits were real. Not once. Everything could be explained by maths and science, but not anymore.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Don't overthink life and just be nice.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain
I had random images of tartan? My family do descend from Scotland, so who knows.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
The black void is not of this planet nor anywhere with a concept of time.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
I did not see a god or anything religious, but I never tried to see one.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Have fun and nothing's that deep. We get to live and do whatever we want when it's our time to start the actual adventure.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
The figures I saw, I think, were deceased people, hopefully my family members. I think I wasn't able to talk to them or make them out as I wasn't fully ready, or it just wasn't my time yet.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain
When I saw the flashes of figures, at times there were two together. I hope to think people choose each other in the afterlife too. I'd miss my girl.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember everything, the whole process, everything said when I was out of body. I can't remember what I had to eat yesterday and have had severe gaps in memory, but I remember everything that happened in hospital.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Feeling when someone's going to die. I called my grandad's death and my next-door neighbour's. Multiple animals I knew were sick, but I couldn't explain it. Most were taken to the vet to be told nothing can be done for them; it's their time.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Look after those closest to you.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain
In parts. I don't want to ruin someone else's beliefs. I've really mentally broken people before.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely not real
I got the facts checked. It was a free view into what's to come. Reading other people's experiences today has made me really believe I'm not going insane.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
I do.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
I sometimes derealise and go into birds' POV. Smelling certain smells can bring back memories so strong I feel like I've jumped back in time. Time has become a weird concept.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Spot on. I feel better just reading the questions.

Anything else to add? 10/10 strongly recommend.