Blanca N STE

Experience Description

The day I learned my father had died, I was in my hometown, a one-and-a-half-hour drive from where he passed. As his death was a shock, I immediately began a breathing session. As a trainer, I am capable of doing conscious connected breathing on my own, and I find these sessions calming and centering.

My father came to me during the session and invited me to come to the realm where he now was, holding out his hand. I could recognize him as clearly as day. There was no doubt this was my late father. I refused to follow him, as I was unsure I would want to return to my body if I did. I was so upset by his passing. He beckoned me again, but I refused. I was too scared.

Two weeks after his passing and funeral, I was breathing again. He came again and was quite persistent. He held out his hand and invited me to come with him. I was again quite unsure. Then he told me telepathically, 'Come, you were always curious about what is on the other side, were you not? This is your chance.' I realized this was a rare opportunity I would likely not get again, and I had always been curious to see what happens after we die.

I chose to trust him, albeit a little scared, and I took his hand.

The next thing I saw was something like an entry, with a light master standing beside it. This master had no particular name or specifics, other than that I recognized him as a high master by his energy. He looked at me and asked, a little surprised, 'What are you doing here?' I answered, a little tongue-in-cheek, 'Open house!' while nodding to my dad beside me. He had the power to allow me in, and he did. I think he trusted my father would not let me go too far.

The next thing I remember is a dark tunnel I went through. I was in awe as I realized what it was. It was a black hole that I passed through, and as I did, all my identity as a human on earth disintegrated. I understood that where I was going, this baggage was not necessary. I was so happy and very enthusiastic about this realization. I was not afraid at all. I am not sure where my father was during this time. I remember finding it really weird to know that I was down on earth still breathing, yet also here with my full consciousness. I could not understand how that was possible. I decided not to give it too much attention, as I wanted to continue with this amazing experience.

At the other end, it was very light, and it was as if I reassembled into my real self, the unencumbered me. There was another master waiting. He looked at me. He had to give me permission to pass as well. Without words, he read me and said, gently nodding, 'You were always a curious one.' It was as if he knew me personally and would allow this perk, but only for a while and with restricted access. I somehow knew there was a boundary I could not cross.

The love I felt in this space was truly indescribable. I have never felt this on the earthly plane before—it was totally devoid of any judgment. Truly, no judgment at all. I felt one hundred percent acceptance of who I was. The whole concept of there being no judgment is just indescribable to anyone on this earth. We just do not know this kind of acceptance. I cannot describe what that feels like. Even now, twelve years later, writing this moves me to tears.

My father was there at the other end of the tunnel too. We walked a little and sat next to each other on a bench outside on a hill, with a beautiful view of the landscape rolling down to a light-colored town at the shore of a sea or a big lake. I loved the view and had seen it often in my meditations. I realize we create our heaven as we like to see it, and I loved this place. It is not a place I know on earth. It seems I may have come here before as a spirit. The sheer, almost palpable love is what really shook me to my core. It is so beautiful and completely indescribable. There are no existing words to describe this feeling.

My dad and I had a good talk. I asked him about his reason for being on earth. I was amazed that a master like himself—as I had realized the first time he came to me in my first breathing session, which was also a huge surprise—had had to walk around in such a challenging role. We believe he had Asperger's syndrome. He had very few social skills and was supposedly brilliant at his work as a physicist, but being the daughter of such a man was difficult and filled with experiences of rejection. Upon my question, he told me what my life lesson is on earth. He also answered my question as to why I had chosen to come to him as my father, as our relationship had not been an easy one. I asked him about my sister's reason for being on earth. He declined to answer, saying that was private for her. I respected that.

I did not want to leave this place. It felt like a memory I had somehow taken with me to earth when I came into this life, and now I knew it was real. I had episodes in my life where I longed to leave the earthly plane. Never anything serious, just a longing feeling.

I cannot remember how I got back to my breathing body in my living room. I am sure my father took me back gently and said goodbye.

As wonderful and very profound as this experience was, I found myself floundering afterward with no one to share it with and no support on how to integrate such knowing into this three-dimensional life. I was never truly depressed, but I dragged myself through life. I did not want to be here anymore. Any fear I had of death is completely gone. It took me about five years to come to terms with it all and to accept that I was meant to be here in this body for quite some time yet. Some support would have been helpful, as it was an awful lot to integrate.

After that, I started reading about near-death experiences and how people feel depressed or purposeless afterward. I understand it completely.

As a physician, I am appalled by the stance of most physicians, dismissing experiences like this as hallucinations or made-up stories. Once you have experienced something similar, it changes you for life. What right do doctors have to deny its truth?

After more than five years, as a teacher in breath work, I finally realized that I was given this experience not only for myself. I am meant to share it. So I have started sharing this story with people with cancer who ask if I know what is after death. I feel that when I speak of my experience, they seem to feel calmer and less stressed about their possible death.

I cherish this experience greatly, even though it sets me apart from my colleagues and even general people in my life who have not had similar experiences. Once I read about your organization, I resolved to share my story. Even now, it took me several years to do it, as it is deeply moving when I speak about it. The truth of the present is sometimes difficult to bear, and the thought that we are bereft of such beauty and love is difficult to face. The power of this experience has not diminished over all these years, and I know that it has changed me for good.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date of NDE: 2/4/2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I was very aware that I was in my breathing session at the same time and heard the music playing for the session. I was both here and there at the same time, and the experience was most acute where I placed my attention.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I arrived in the Love.
Just total awareness and clarity.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience There is so much more joy and love than here on earth. There is a great sense of humor too. All very benevolent.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I don't know. I do not believe I heard anything. Communication was through telepathy.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
I realized it was a black hole in which I disintegrated completely, only to reintegrate at the other end where it was light. I understood that this must have been a white hole. I was not scared at all. I found it really neat to understand how this works. The purpose was to relieve me of any baggage from Earth that was no longer needed at the other end.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? Yes
I saw my father, who came to get me to show me this realm.

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
There was this beautiful light everywhere.

Did you seem to enter another world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
A hill with a beautiful view as described in my story previously.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Such deep love and acceptance, completely devoid of judgement.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I gained great insight about black and white holes and the incredible beauty of the judgment-free acceptance of the love that exists outside our world and from whence we come.

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
That is not accurate. As I went up, I knew I was only to have a short look and feel. I was never meant to stay or to continue. I did not see a physical barrier, but I did know instantaneously that I could not go further than where I was and that I was watched. My father was there to assure I would not go out of bounds, nor did I have the wish to do so. I felt deeply honored to have been permitted to enter this space as it is.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths - New age
I believed in reincarnation and that our souls are eternal, albeit without the character traits of the person we were on earth. I was trained as a psychic and have had contact with people who have passed away. This was an altogether different experience.

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? Other faiths - New age
Same as above

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Seeing my deceased father was not abnormal to me, as I had the ability to see other spirits before. The knowledge that there was a realm much better than this life was something I already had. The understanding about the disintegration and reassembling, and the sheer beauty of not only the love but the true absence of judgment was completely new for me. And what a beautiful surprise it was!

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
To stay out of judgment as much as possible and to understand that love is what we came from.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I encountered two masters who were there to guard this realm and who had to provide permission. One was at the start of the journey, and one was at the other end of the tunnel.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes
I understood that my current life was carefully planned beforehand.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
The term 'all is one and one is all' now makes total sense to me, albeit the words are only a meager distillation of the truth behind it.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
My own life's purpose.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
My father shared with me what the purpose of my life is to me as a spirit being.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
My father was there, in all his masterly wisdom, as I have never seen him in real life before. It was awe-inspiring and a bit of a shock, as the difference was striking compared to how I knew him as a person.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
There is absolutely no need to fear death. If only we knew where we are going, we would never be afraid of dying. I also now understand why we have to forget this place when we come down to earth, for if we remembered, we would be out of our bodies within seconds after we were born. No doubt.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
I understood my father's choice in having this condition, and how hard it must have been for him as the master that he was to carry it out. How does such a light manage to reside in such a narrow human existence?

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
I just can't explain. The love is indescribably beautiful. There are no words.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
I was struggling to understand the meaning of this 3D life where everything felt meaningless after this experience. This feeling lasted for about five years. I did not wish to live here. There was nowhere to go, though, as I knew I was not meant to die. It was only later that I understood I was given this experience to share with others.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
I do not speak much of it and only share with people who I feel could understand me. It was only very recently that I realized that this is the quality I have been missing in prospective life partners and that this is perhaps the real reason I am still single.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
There are no existing words to express the beauty of the love I felt.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I cannot remember much of what was happening around that time, only snippets of my life. This experience has remained unchanged ever since. It made a deep imprint upon my being.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My talk with my dad was a true gift that will last me a lifetime.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
It took at least seven to ten years, I think. I felt ashamed to share, as if I were someone great, which I am not. I noticed that people were greatly touched by what I spoke of, as if they got a glimpse of real love. It made me happy. Patients with cancer who ask about death seem to become calm when I share what I have experienced. I feel so blessed to be of some support to them in this way.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
As a physician, we learn that people have these experiences. I never knew you could also have an NDE without actually being in a life-threatening situation. I also did not see or hear anything in my surroundings what people typically describe when under anesthesia or near death.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
It was such a profound experience, and it changed me. This was not imagination. I have had other insightful experiences in my breath sessions, but this was far beyond that and of a quality I have never experienced since.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
My current belief is the same as described previously.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No
I find the questions about God much too narrow. I did not know how to answer them. I do not believe in a God, and I never have. I believe in something greater, a greater knowing or consciousness with a definite benevolent purpose. This is a field to me, rather than a being. I suggest you alter those questions to encompass any understanding someone may have about something bigger outside themselves and to ask them to explain what they have experienced or understood. I believe this would give you much greater clarity on what the universe is actually like.

Anything else to add? There needs to be more support for people who have had NDEs, like talk groups or an understanding therapist to support us in how to live our lives with this knowledge. Ignoring these stories is deeply disrespectful and very painful indeed. We need to change our way of working in care facilities to embrace the truth of what people have experienced. Having to bury this kind of knowing is hurtful and potentially detrimental to the person with the NDE.