Ben NDE

Experience Description

This is my near death experience I had with Jesus. I believe I felt God's love, care, and love from what I went through. This is my story.

I had a very traumatic breakup with my ex-girlfriend. I was having a hard time understanding the meaning of life, since autism is limiting. I couldn't find a job to provide for myself and I have always never really fit in to normal social standards. I have been bullied a lot and a pastor I trusted touched me inappropriately, causing sexual trauma. I had been a Christian for a year. I had a hard time with prayer and understanding Christianity. A pastor I met called me a snake, I had and still have trust issues that I'm working on in therapy.

I was going through a dark time...

I woke up one day and I decided to end it all. I thought of Jesus, his love, care, and understanding of what I was about to do. I contemplated, and thought of the least painful way to go. I was confused with God's physical presence because being adopted, it hurt that I couldn't physically hold Jesus.

I put the cord on the fridge, turned the light on in the hallway because I believed in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I knew demonic forces were trying to kill me, but I didn't care. I used to be a Satanist before this. And despite becoming Christian, I felt like a complete outcast to the Christian community.

I thought of the love of my life. My long loved sweetheart, my future girlfriend, and future wife. I love that woman so much. I just didn't care anymore at the present moment. I told Jesus I loved him. I put the cord around my neck, and started lowering myself down. At first, it felt like I couldn't breathe very well.

I heard a voice that sounded just like Jesus, "Do you want me to take you home now?" I had my eyes open and struggled more to breathe. The cord got tighter and tighter around my neck. My body started to go into posture, my arms reached up to the light. My fingers clenched up and I decided to let go. I lifted out from my body.

I went up into a light tunnel that had beautiful colors and clouds that were not of this world. I was going up and up. I saw myself above my body in the kitchen. I was spirit, not my physical self. I had no sense of material. I was going through the tunnel and I was seeing beautiful colors dancing in the sky that were very beautiful to look at. I already knew I was dead. I went up, and up, and up.

Suddenly I was in the sun and the sun gave me a massive hug. This type of love and hug was like no other hug that I've ever gotten. It was a heavenly hug and it was one of the most beautiful experiences that I had. I was brought up there and physically held. There were no words; no things said. I felt completely loved, and safe. I don't remember thinking anything except basking in that light. I already knew it was God's love, his purest form of love, care, understanding, and beauty to his children who have feeble minds, are poor in spirit, and believe in the father.

I was put back down and lowered in my body. It's been a year since the suicide and I'm still recovering. It's hard that father picked me up, and he put me back down. How is a child supposed to feel if Father picks a child up and puts him back down. I have missed that hug from the father. I do know for sure that I'll go there one day. Now was not my time. I know that I have a lot of therapy to do.

Praise Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 02/03/2025

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I hung myself from the fridge.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? When I lifted from my body and left my material self, and was going through the clouds.
I felt like I could feel everything. I was beyond material being.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time. Just complete peace and no sense of physical self.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience N/a

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience N/a

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
It was a light tunnel. Clouds and beautiful colors were dancing around the sky. I can't explain it because it was so beautiful.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
It was the sun's light but far brighter and beautiful.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? When I was being held by God, the light, the father, I felt beautiful, peaceful, and loved. I felt beyond human love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did scenes from the future come? I keep seeing my future kids before the hanging attempt. I also keep seeing my future wife. My future kids in the garden. Tending to my flowers as I was watching my daughter. Visions are very bright and beautiful. The woman I'm talking to doesn't believe even though she's a Christian. I keep seeing children and a future home and a garden. I was told that they were holy visions. I see myself dancing, kissing. I saw her in the hospital, I saw her pregnant and I felt her pregnant belly. I saw myself in uniform going to the hospital and running in the hospital asking the nurse where my wife is. "4th floor". I can't remember the room number. I ran in and I saw her giving birth to our daughter.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I was sent back to my body against my will.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian - Catholic

Have your religious practices changed? Yes

What is your religion now? Christian - Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
N/a

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I'm a Christian now and I'm working on getting baptized.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I heard Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes
I heard Jesus tell me, "Do you want me to take you home now?"

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes
God's presence definitely exists for those who are still sick and suffering, who are feeble and poor in spirit. He loves His children very much. Even though He is a great discipliner, that is what a father should be.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
N/a

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I could see unclean spirits, demons, astral parasites, and attachments on people that I haven't seen before.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
N/a

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
N/a

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes