Anthony R NDE

Experience Description

In 1978, I was involved in a serious car accident. Seat belts were not commonly used at that time, and the impact of the steering wheel caused significant abdominal injuries. After I was admitted to the hospital, my injuries were not properly treated. As a result, I developed pleurisy, untreated liver damage, fluid accumulation in my abdomen, septicemia, and eventually organ failure. Because of the abnormal swelling in my abdomen, the doctors performed emergency exploratory surgery. During the surgery, they confirmed that my liver was damaged and that fluid had accumulated in my abdomen.

The day after surgery, the hospital director, who was a personal friend of my father, called my father into a meeting. He told my father that I was not expected to survive the night. Because my family was Catholic, he advised my father to call a priest and begin making funeral arrangements.

That same day, I left my body. I found myself floating above my hospital bed, looking down at my mother, who was sitting beside me, holding my hand and crying. Being outside my body was an experience of profound peace, calm, and pleasure. It was more beautiful than anything I had ever felt. Yet seeing my mother suffering was unbearable. I loved her deeply and could not bear to leave her in that condition. With tremendous effort, I kept pulling myself back into my body, but my spirit or soul would leave again and again.

At one point, I traveled into the adjacent room of my hospital suite. The door between the rooms was closed, so there was no way I could have heard what was being said under ordinary circumstances. In that room, I saw my father, the hospital director, two of my uncles, and a priest. They were discussing my impending death and making funeral arrangements. They talked about the funeral home, the color of my casket, how they would tell my mother, and other details. My father was visibly distraught.

Meanwhile, I continued struggling to return to my body. Somehow, the struggle triggered the alarms on the medical equipment. Doctors and nurses rushed into my room, along with my father and the others who had been in the adjacent room. I was still watching everything from above as they worked to save me. They injected me with medication, and the next day I was still alive. I remained in the hospital for three or four months, gradually recovering my strength. Even when I was finally discharged, I was still extremely weak.

Another incident from that hospitalization remains vivid in my memory. Because my family was Catholic, a priest came to administer the last rites. However, when he learned that I was gay, he refused to perform the sacrament unless I renounced my sexuality, swore never to have another same-sex relationship, and promised to marry a woman and have children. I was furious. I swept his candles, cross, and other religious items off my bedside table onto the floor and ordered him to leave my room.

Many months later, I told my father what I had witnessed in the adjacent room. I described who had been present and exactly what they had discussed about my funeral arrangements. He was stunned and insisted that what I was telling him was impossible. I had been unconscious, connected to medical equipment, with my mother holding my hand the entire time. When I described the conversation in detail, he became deeply confused. We never discussed the subject again.

During my experience, I never saw a tunnel, a light, or any beings. What I experienced was an overwhelming sense of peace and well-being. If my mother had not been sitting beside me in such terrible distress, I am certain I would have let go. My love for her and my refusal to leave her suffering were the only things that kept me fighting to return to my body.

Something fundamental changed within me after that night. I have never been able to explain it fully, but the knowledge that something exists beyond ordinary consciousness has remained with me for nearly fifty years. I know that what happened was not a medication-induced hallucination or a dream. Medications cannot explain how someone could accurately witness a private conversation taking place in another room behind a closed door.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 00/00/1978

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
In 1978 I was involved in a serious car accident. The impact caused significant trauma and complications.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? I clearly left my body and existed outside it
I left my body. I found myself above the hospital bed, looking down at my mother sitting beside me, holding my hand and crying. The sensation of being outside my body was one of profound peace, calm, and pleasure, more beautiful than anything I had ever felt. At the same time, seeing my mother's suffering was unbearable. I love her deeply, and I could not leave her in that state. With great effort I kept pulling myself back into my body, only to find that 'thing,' my spirit or soul, would leave again and again. At one point I traveled into the adjacent room of my hospital suite. The door between the rooms was closed. In that room I saw my father, the hospital director, several uncles, and a priest. They were discussing my impending death: the funeral home, the color of the casket, how to tell my mother, and other arrangements. My father was in clear distress. While this was happening I continued to fight to return to my body. The struggle somehow triggered the alarms on the medical equipment. Doctors, nurses, and my father rushed into the room. I was still observing from above as they worked on me. I was injected with medication, and the next day I was still alive. I remained in the hospital for three or four months, gradually regaining strength, though I was still very weak when I was finally discharged.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? I was alert all the time until I was injected with some medication. I don't know what it was, but it rendered me unconscious.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? Normal consciousness and alertness

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Seeing the scene from the ceiling and fighting to get back what was leaving, and the travel to the adjacent room and listening to the private conversation while I kept fighting for that "thing" to come back to my body was extremely exhausting and hard.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My vision was the same. It was me living that experience. I do not recall anything different.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience The hearing was the same before, during, and after. I do not recall it being different.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter another world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
It was a "place" or "state" of absolutely incredible peace. A wonderful place, impossible to explain with words.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? What I experienced was simply an overwhelming sense of peace and well-being. Had my mother not been there suffering, I am certain I would have let go. The only thing that kept me fighting was my love for her and my refusal to leave her in pain.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
I somehow knew that if I left further, I was not coming back to my body.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I pulled with all my strength to return that "thing" to my body. I did so until I was injected with some medication and rendered unconscious.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths
Recovering Catholic, I was born into a Catholic family.

Have your religious practices changed? Yes
I do not believe in any religion. I know we go somewhere but no religion is associated with my experience.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths
Agnostic Theist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
As a recovering Catholic, I can say that the experience I had had nothing to do with what I was taught from the Catholic faith. There is something further. Can't explain. The experience did not invoke any previous teachings about religion, Catholic or otherwise.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
I do not believe in any religion after the experience.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
I, with that experience, can say that we are going to some peaceful place. I cannot say what or where, only that it is some wonderful, peaceful place.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes
I was out of my body. I was living outside of my body. I was experiencing some peace, and somehow I knew I was going somewhere. I cannot explain it, but I knew I was going somewhere if I would have let myself go.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
I can say I do not know if God exists. I know something bigger than us exists. I do not know if it is one entity, force, or something else. I do not believe in any religion at all. I believe in a superior power, that's it. I believe we "go" somewhere peaceful and great.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I couldn't and cannot explain even now how and what was leaving my body. I cannot explain that the "thing" leaving my body was like my body, exactly the same. I cannot explain how I could see my body and the scene with my mother from the ceiling of my room. It was me up in the ceiling and me down lying in the bed. I cannot explain how I traveled to the adjacent room. I was just there. I do not know how I went there. I was just there. I cannot explain how hard it was for me to pull that "thing" back into my body and the struggle when it came out, fighting over and over, pulling every time it left my body. It was like coming inside or matching my body and automatically leaving again. I just cannot explain it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
After almost 50 years since that experience, I can say I clearly remember what happened and remember telling a close group of people what I lived and that I felt something had changed, even though I cannot explain what it is that has changed.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My premonition (sixth sense) has increased since the experience. Something tells me the decision I am going to take is correct or should be avoided. 99% of the time it is correct.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
I have shared the experience mostly with my mother. She was a bit skeptical but believed me. My father was very confused, as I was present during the private conversation and the group was not aware of my presence. My siblings and a few friends were confused but believed me. My spouse completely believed me and asked me to tell him the whole experience from before the accident until my recovery.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
I was 20 years old, but what I knew came from some articles I had read that always talked about tunnels, a bright light, and spirits coming to welcome you. I did not experience any of that.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
The experience was vivid and real. To my knowledge, it was as real as me typing this form.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
The experience was vivid and real. To my knowledge, it was as real as me typing this form.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I do. If you need more information, I would be happy to provide it to you.

Anything else to add? The experience was real and authentic. I firmly believe that after we leave this body, we travel somewhere. Where? I do not know. What I know is that we do not die; we just leave this earthly body and continue our voyage somewhere.