Allen B NDE

Experience Description

I turned my head back to the left. I was confused but not alarmed by the blood. I went back to sleep, although my mind was still active. I kept wondering what had happened, where the blood had come from, and why I was so cold.

After a time, those questions began to fade, and I fell into what I now know was unconsciousness. During this first episode, as soon as I stopped trying to figure out what was happening, I began to feel warm. There was a door ahead of me with a glow around it. Everything else was completely dark. The door seemed to be about 50 feet away, close enough for me to feel its warmth but not close enough for me to become as warm as I wanted to be.

Somehow, I began closing the distance between myself and the door. I was not aware of walking or physically moving toward it. I simply became closer to it. When I was about 10 feet away, however, I could not get any closer, no matter how hard I tried.

I use the phrase "after a time" because I have no idea how long or short any of these periods actually were.

After a time, I regained consciousness. The questions immediately returned. I wondered why I was so cold, why the blood now looked different, and why I could not get to that door.

While I was in this semi-conscious state, I somehow came to believe that I had found a solution to both the cold and the problem of reaching the door. Still lying on my stomach, I used all of my strength to lift my midsection off the floor and soiled myself. For whatever reason, I was then satisfied that I would be able to get through the door. I went back to sleep.

The same experience began again, but this time I continued moving closer until I came within reach of the door. I was not walking, and the door was not moving toward me. As I remember it, the only thing bringing me closer to the door was my will.

I was now within arm's reach of it. The warmth I needed was right there.

Then I felt a hand on my chest. I did not see a hand, but I distinctly felt the physical shape of one resting against me. It did not push me backward. There was no force or resistance that I could feel. The hand was simply there.

I increased my will and tried even harder to move toward the door. There was still no pushback and no sense of force being used against me, but I could not move any farther. The warmth I desperately wanted was immediately in front of me, yet I could not reach it.

Suddenly, I felt a small shock of pain. Then I felt another, and then another.

I regained consciousness and realized that my dog was nudging me with her nose. At the time, I thought she had interrupted a dream, and I yelled at her for waking me.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date of NDE: 10/00/1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? After resuscitation.
I had been in a small area of alertness. After resuscitation, the world opened up in a way I had never experienced before.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I lost all sense of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience My vision was blurred and doubled for a while.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience I couldn't hear anything during the experience.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
I could only see a door surrounded by light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased beings? No

Did you see or feel surrounded by a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
The warmth from the light was incredible without being hot.

Did you seem to enter another world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion, frustration

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back? No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
A hand on my chest that immobilized me.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
A hand placed on my chest, and then my dog brought me back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know
Raised Christian but embraced aspects of Islam

Have your religious practices changed? No

What is your religion now? No comment
Follow the teachings of Allah as far as self-improvement.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I was conflicted between choosing a religion but was confident that, first, your religion didn't matter, and second, everything was based on your relationship with God.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I felt a hand placed gently on my chest that made me immobile.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
I realized that my will to move forward in this experience was not under my control.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
I am more empathetic than ever, but I can't tolerate foolishness in any way.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
It took me years to fill in the blanks from before the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
I seem to be a better judge of character and can see the direction of events.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? PTSD.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
A few months after I began sharing the experience, I only mentioned the hand to those closest to me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
As my consciousness returned, there was no doubt in my mind that this really happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
It is ingrained. I still feel the hand at times in my life. I have absolutely no fear of death, and I have a dangerous occupation.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
The hand and its effects on occasion.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
The post-experience aspect is where my particular situation is, in a way, phenomenal.