Experience Description

After eventually recovering from the Septicemia, I had a friend, who'd come often to visit, say to me, 'I know you're gonna think I'm crazy, but do you remember anywhere you may have went, because there'd be times you would be in so much pain and distress and before the nurse would come in to give you something, all of a sudden you'd completely relax and it was like you weren't with us'. To which I responded, 'Yes' and told her my experience.

I had septicemia very bad and my doctor and nephrologist had come in to tell me they had done everything medically possible. Without divine intervention they didn't expect me to make it and if I had family that needed to be called, they needed to be called now. I continued to deteriorate.

Yet there'd be times I'd find myself in this beautiful meadow with a big sprawling tree in it. The grass was tall and there were beautiful flowers: unusually colored, not bright but not dull, all throughout this meadow. My younger brother, William, who died at age 18 from Ewing Sarcoma would be there but a lot of the time we'd be entities, not in human form, but I'd know it was him and we communicated without speaking. We'd run and play like little children and sometimes we'd just be under the tree. I remember him telling me that we still had to work in Heaven and that his job was being a comforting spirit to children with cancer and that was why he had cancer. This made sense to me.

One time that I was there in the meadow, a person approached me, so I went toward him. He wore long flowing white robes. I remember the closer I got to him the more I felt, strongly, that I was going home. That feeling was very strong, going back to where my soul belonged. He spoke to me, knew my name, and gave me a choice to come with him or stay. I immediately began to think about the scrapbooks I hadn't finished for my children and things for my parents and my closest friends. It was truly an internal battle because of that strong feeling that to go with him would truly be going home. But the thoughts of all that I hadn't finished, so those I loved would always know how very much I loved them, kept penetrating my thoughts and in the end I chose to stay and finish those.

After that decision, I never was able to visit my meadow and I started actually recovering. I remember where the meadow ended, where the man in robes came from, and the white and billowy clouds. Whereas, the meadow was the tall grass and beautiful flowers that were unlike any colors I'd ever seen. The meadow had a soft light but there was no sun. There was so much peace there. It didn't seem to surprise me that there were many times, neither I nor my brother were in true human form but were more like entities. I never once felt frightened. I felt the feeling of absolute love coming from the man in the robes. It was as powerful as was the feeling of my soul returning home if I went with him.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: February 2002

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. Septicemia, not responding to treatment

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal In person, to others in the room, I appeared at my least consciousness during these moments but in the meadow I felt extremely alert and conscious.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the experience very alert but in person I was at my least consciousness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Very much heightened

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Very increased

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My 18 year old brother who had died from cancer in 1987.

The experience included: Boundary

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The lighting of the meadow was soft, brilliant yet not bright, contradictory, I know, but that's how I'd describe it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The meadow

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, safe, happy

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

The experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was given the choice to return or not

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin My brother and the man in robes outside the meadow.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I think the man in robes may have been Jesus

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes My brother told me choose our path in life. .. that we come to earth to kearn and grow spiritually lke a school and we choose our obstacles even

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes My brother talking about Heaven

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I just knew

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes After talking with my brother but every time I'd physically awaken I'd feel like I forgot more than I remembered.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We choose our obstacles to over come for the spiritual growth and can come back until we achieve that goal if we feel we need to...earth is like soul school

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Talking with my brother and the man in robes

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes That we choose our obstacles or areas we want growth in before we come. ..but we soon forget that after birth

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Trying to describe the colors of the flowers, and trying to remember all that my brother and I talked about

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it, but especially the time with my brother and the awesome feeling of love from the man in robes.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think immediately with immediate family about being in the meadow with William and with close friends after getting out of hospital.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I'd heard about it like in my early 20's but never gave it much thought.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just believed it was real then later when people, who had been in my room during those times, started asking me questions or making comments, and then I knew, for sure, it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No