Valerie S NDE

Experience Description

In the summer of 1996, I was 25 years old and living in Lake Louise, Alberta Canada. I had moved to work at this beautiful resort after having taught English in Japan for a year and traveling around SE Asia. I'd made quite a bit of money working abroad and as a result was able to land a part-time job working a few days a week in a bookstore and spending the rest being outdoors and active. I loved anything adrenaline and natural. I'd recently gotten into rock climbing and regularly hiked in the surrounding mountains. My newest passion that summer was mountain biking, and I had been super excited to start riding my first mountain bike - I remember it was a purple TREK - very fancy! What made the purchase even better was the fact that I also hit it off with the salesman, so he and I decided to hang out. He was a very experienced biker and had been road and mountain biking for years in the area, so he was familiar with the terrain and how to handle a bike. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't so lucky!

One day, shortly after I'd bought the bike, we'd agreed to go for a ride up and down the mountain - it's a big mountain! We were going to ride up the main road to Lake Louise, then ride down a trail that paralleled the road. The up part was physically strenuous, but I was super fit at the time and kept right up. I don't remember much about what happened next. He had to go back to work in a nearby town called Banff later that day, so he didn't have a lot of time to kill. I vaguely recall starting the trail.

The next thing I remember is being in my apartment in staff residence at the bottom of the mountain. I am alone and my arm is pretty messed up. My memory is spotty at this time - apparently I'd called a friend and she came over, after the third time I asked her about my bike (I kept asking 'Where's my bike?') she realized that I wasn't well. My helmet was destroyed (I ended up sending it to BELL and told them it saved my life!) and my left arm was pretty mangled - full of dirt and cut up. She called the local clinic doctor (it was a Sunday so he was on call for emergency only) and took me over to see him. I remember him using a 'scrubbie' to clean the debris out of my wound. I felt detached from the experience. It really hurt, but I think I was still in shock. He put my arm in a sling and sent me home to sleep! Looking back now, I should have been sent by ambulance to the hospital in Banff - but that's hindsight. The next hours and days are a blur. I took some time off work and really just laid around my room, nursing my wounds and trying to heal. To this day I have no recollection of what happened or where. I remember starting the trail and being with my friend several hours later at the bottom with my injuries. I have no idea how I got down the mountain, or how long I was up there. Several hours had passed by. Apparently the guy I was biking with waited for me at the bottom for a few minutes, but didn't bother to come back to look for me - he had to go to work and was pressed for time.

I did go back and explore the trail a few times to see if anything would come back to me about what happened. Nothing ever did. What I 'think' happened was I was going really fast downhill (it's quite a steep decline) and there were occasional water-bars across the trail to prevent water erosion. I think I miscalculated and my tire hit a water-bar, I went over the front handle-bars at top speed and went head-first into a big rock. But that's just speculation, I don't know and I've come to terms with the fact that I will never know.

So, after this long introduction - where does my NDE happen? I'm honestly not sure. As I mentioned my memories around those days are confused and my brain was not working correctly. It could have happened at the scene of the accident, when I was home 'resting' (I still can't believe he sent me home to sleep after serious head trauma!) - I'm really not sure.

But, what I know without a shadow of a doubt is that sometime during that episode I had the following experience and it's branded in my brain. I will never forget it and it was profound.

A bit of backstory, my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer around this time. She was only 49, soon to turn 50, and it was a big shock to the family. Mum and Dad were living in Eastern Canada at the time, so I was separated from them by several time-zones. It was the first time in my life that I had a glimpse of mortality and my perspective about death was more tangible.

NDE: There was no tunnel that I remember, I appeared, in a bright, warm, diffused well-lit space. I don't remember having a body - just being there. There were no distinguishable objects around me, it was like I was suspended in light. However, I was in the presence of what I can only describe as the most welcoming beings I have ever encountered. I have never felt such pure, unconditional love and belonging. I distinctly remember them saying 'Where've you been, we've been waiting for you!' I was overwhelmed with joy and their presence. I remember how they looked. I could sort of see two of them . I don't remember much of their bodies but I recall seeing two distinct faces. They were distinct because I knew there were definitely two, but indistinct because their features were not clear. They had eyes where eyes should be and a nose and a something that resembled a mouth. their heads seemed longer and larger than 'human' heads. Their eyes seemed very kind. There was only Happiness and welcoming energy coming from them. I would describe them as light-beings, or energy beings. It was almost like the molecules that make us flesh and blood were more diffuse for them. Their features were visible but in a blurry, fuzzy way and they were not clear for me. They seemed to be glowing, or their being was a light energy. I don't recall their mouths moving or any sounds, I do recall communicating with them telepathically. There were two of them, but they kind of blurred together. They seemed to stay close together. They seemed excited and curious about me. As I experienced this 'light' space, it was entirely positive and loving. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there HAD TO BE A DARK space too. I wasn't afraid of this truth, but it was a fact. I can't explain it other than that. There was light and there was dark. I was in the light and I didn't see the dark. The feeling I had was that for there to be light, there must be dark. Over the years I've thought the symbol for yin/yang is a perfect representation of this truth.

As I mentioned before, I have no recollection of where my accident happened, what happened, or how long I was unconscious for. I do have a lapse in memory of a couple of hours.

Back to the light. While with these beings, things in my memories are not clear. I have a feeling that we 'discussed' my presence and that I had to go back. I don't remember this distinctly, but I do remember them asking if I needed anything. I told them my mother had breast cancer and I wanted to help her. One of the beings was thrilled to help and I felt a message of 'wait here.' Now the memories are clear. I tracked the being moving and they moved toward and into the brightest most beautiful light I have ever seen. If GOD is something, that was it; pure, pure, pure, pure unconditional love. It is beyond anything I could ever describe or put into words or feel here on 'Earth'. I could not look directly at the light and I wasn't able to go into the light, but they could and did. I had to shield my face and self when I followed their movement because the light was 'too much' for me. I couldn't look directly at it. It's glitchy my 'experience' I have wondered if my brain injury also impeded the clarity of time in the recall of my NDE, but overall, it was linear.

What I recall next is this. A being returned, from the light, with a ball of this indescribable light for me. It was about the size of a cantaloupe. They sort of 'held it' but it was light so it had no weight or mass, but it was a ball. They handed me this ball; it was for my mother. When I felt this I had, what I can only describe as, a divine download- it did feel like a scene from the matrix or something - like all the bits of information coming at me, but it was so simple. It was almost like the moment I came into contact with this ball of light everything about our human body and health was 100% transparent. It was so simple, and beautiful and clear. Healing and health were shown to me. I remember thinking, in complete AWE, if ONLY I could tell people about this, and show them that healing is so easy. I felt so deeply humbled and a longing to share this information. My heart and soul longed to share this 'if only I could explain this' is what I felt.

I don't remember leaving the light. I don't have a return story. I don't recall saying goodbye to the creatures of light or coming 'back into my body'. I don't even remember when I had the memory of this experience - it's like it appeared sometime in the weeks that followed my accident. My mother had stage 3 cancer, she went through all the treatments, and has been cancer free since. She is 77 now. In fact, she takes no medication at all. Who knows, maybe the ball of light did help in the end?

I am grateful for the experience, and if that's what is 'one the other side' of being alive, we are in for an amazing treat!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1996

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Other traumatic head injury from mountain bike accident - not sure what happened

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt hyper-focused on just being in that space. There were no distractions or surroundings, I was just there with the beings in the light.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It didn't change much - when I arrived and maybe when I got the ball of light - more intense emotionally

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Not until I was handed the ball of light - then the 'divine download' was definitely a different experience of time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The being appeared blurry to me, but I don't think it was my vision - they were made of something that was light and diffused. I had perfect vision at the time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was normal.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I didn't recognize them, but they seemed to know me - Where have you been, we've been waiting for you... was the tone of the message.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There were two types of light - well 3. The beings seemed to be a light energy, it was a cooler energy, the place I was felt like warm, diffused glowing light, the place where they went and the ball of light was pure, powerful - the brightest light I have ever seen.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was a space filled with light - and different kinds. I didn't see objects or things other than the beings.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? love, bliss, clarity, humility, longing, joy, playfulness

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I felt that it was about healing the body and it was so simple. I knew everything about it, and it all made sense. I longed to share it, or felt kind of sad that I wouldn't remember how to.... a longing.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I stopped going to church at 19 - not practicing Catholic, did not attend any sort of religious service.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age Not sure what I believe.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I don't really understand this question... the experience was totally surreal and beyond anything I had ever experienced before in my life, or ever have since. I had no prior beliefs about this place, these beings or the light. Maybe I'd heard something on TV or read it somewhere. I suppose from a higher level, there was nothing that I experienced that felt unbelievable. It just was.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Please see description in essay

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Again, the beings seemed to know ME - and that I had been away for a while and was back.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The ball, when I made contact, the entire process of healing a body was clear to me, and it seemed so simple and true. I suppose this 'certainty beyond question' felt like unity/oneness - a common truth that was beyond measure and tied everything together.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The light - it felt light something I can only imagine that God is, but it wasn't a being - it felt like an energy source, or a place or pure love.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was shown how healing works and it is so simple. It's about energy and atoms and beliefs and thoughts, and adjustments and love... I wish I could explain it. It was beautiful.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain Well - it felt as if they were waiting for me, so I suppose that is what is next. I was given something to 'take back' to Earth, I had a feeling that it was 'for now' and that I would be back.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes That there was darkness - there had to be darkness. It wasn't scary or malevolent, it just was a fact.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain The ball showed me how to cure disease.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Such love, peace, welcome from the beings... love beyond measure in the light.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life I was left with a sense that if this is what is waiting for us after life on Earth, then we are going to have an awesome time! I didn't know if it was REAL or not - who knows, life is a mystery. Death is a mystery.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Don't think so. It took a while to integrate, and then life goes on.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Such love, can't describe the light.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I will never forget it (I hope!). I don't remember details of my life 30 years ago, but I recall this experience from a different part of my brain.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Feeling that unconditional love was profound and felt so awesome. I was so humbled by the power of the light and kindness of the beings I met.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I don't remember specifically. I think some people likely think I am full of crap! I did tell my parents. They seemed unfazed. When I tell the story, or think about the experience, it often makes me weep. I have never asked anyone how they felt after or if they were influenced.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain This was before the internet - but I had likely heard about such experiences. I don't recall being told by a friend or relative about their lived experience. It would have been second hand knowledge.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I remember having a recollection that THIS had happened and being confused about it. As I mentioned, the timeline was confusing - maybe because I'd had a head injury.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I really do believe it happened. I can't explain it otherwise.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Thank you for allowing the space to share! It is validating to put it out there in the knowledge that it will be taken seriously and added to a body of research. I'm not crazy after all.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? This was pretty comprehensive. Maybe something about : Do you recall the NDE happening at the time of the incident OR is it a memory of the experience? Not sure if that makes sense, but for me - I didn't leave me body and go into a tunnel that I remember - I just remember being with the light beings in the light.

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