Experience Description

I was supposed to be under sedation for heart surgery, I was, according to the team working on my physical body. I was at the foot of the bed maybe ten feet away watching the entire process. The first memory of the experience was that I awakened and a nurse seated on my left was inserting, or trying to, a tube of some sort into my side and blood was flowing at an enormous rate and amount, which I knew was not normal, something was wrong here.

As he was going about his procedure, I was transferred to the foot of the bed watching all the people working on my body and thinking why there was no pain, I could see the pain but couldn't feel it. My deceased mother who had passed away a year before this and the presence of another 'something' there with a glow of light surrounding him or her and I knew this was where the calmness and peace and joy radiated from. There were questions flooding my mind at an unbelievable speed and answers to each one just as fast as it entered my mind without a word being spoken. Being a child of abuse at the hands of a mean dad, my mother was the love of my life she was the link for me between life and death -- as she is now. The conversation between the doctors and nurses as they went about the operation was clear and I was interested in what was going on. After all, it was me there, as well as here. They removed my heart from my chest cavity and lay it below my chest to repair the valve on the backside. The nurse kept the doctor informed of the time after it was removed. One minute, two, three, four, five. I could feel the tension build in the eyes of everyone and see it. I didn't know what was happening; there was concern over what was happening to me? Was I to die or was this where I crossed over to this side, but I couldn't now. My wife needed me, I had to take care of her, she needed me she couldn't handle this. Then the light wrapped around me like the arms of love and understanding and the most peaceful feeling I have ever known I knew everything would be all right, and it wasn't time for me. Then I wanted to stay with mother and I wanted to be with my wife at the same time.

I was told I would be able to visit my mother and other loved ones if I chose to. I woke up with my wife holding my hand telling me it would be all right and the pain was there, all of it. The next time I experienced something out of the ordinary for me was seven months later and the memories of what had happened to me started coming back piece by piece at a time. It is still an ongoing experience to this day as I read and studied everything I could get my hands on about this experience. All my beliefs, teachings, and thought process have changed me. It has also changed those around me. I am shown things by my spirit guide or my connection to the other side. I now visit frequently and loved ones come to me at different times. There is still so much I don't understand and a lot I have been shown that differs from other accounts of NDE's and OBE's. I really need someone with the knowledge of the subject to talk to about my experiences. Some on the other side are very upsetting and some are pleasurable to be with. As well as the lessons some are frightening and some revealing

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: started in 1996 and is ongoing

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related emergency surgery on heart when the procedure to open the valve to the back of my heart. the balloon burst the vein and surgery had to be performed immediately. Surgery complications.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was what seemed to be younger, in perfect health, no pain or blemishes on the skin that comes with age. It was like suspended in time I didn't feel like I was floating but we were definitely on the floor or near the ceiling, probably midway, with a cool breeze blowing across us refreshing and sweet as a fresh spring rain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? See main narrative.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. A distant humming and bells ringing.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes As I said my mother and the light of love. There were no verbal expressions. It was all an understanding between us. I could hear the voices in my mind not with my ears. I communicated with mother and God at the same time and with no confusion.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The being of love had light emitting from within as a blanket of protection for his love.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Gardens, valleys, streams, on and on.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fright, confusion, peace, joy, love, understanding.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control All this came after my first experience it has been a slow ongoing process.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I kept it a secret for a long time because of the fear of being labeled crazy. It so awakened me to another level of life or after life that I couldn't sort the ends and beginnings of the whole experience. I had to understand it first then maybe tell someone about the questions, some words can't even start an explanation.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes See above.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love, the return to all this.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Very few.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Plenty.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain