Experience Description

Well, I had epilepsy as a child, and on several occasions would go into, what is called, 'status epileptus', having seizures until I die. But in all my childhood, those I only remember, like an out of body experience, where, as a small child, I would 'jump' out of my body, sitting at the top of the room, watching as my body flopped around on the floor. The one time I told someone as a child, I was taken to my dad's church, (he was a Pentecostal preacher) and prayed for, so I stopped telling anyone. When I stopped at puberty having seizures, my out of body memories were put in the back of my mind.

The beating occurred July 3, 1989. I had taken my daughter and her girlfriend, my other two older sons, to see one son (a twin) who had just graduated military school with a perfect 4.0 grading (never before done, so the military was giving my son a special honor and commendation), so I took the rest of my family (no husband as of eleven years) camping from Oklahoma and California, to watch and give support for the other child. I had always warned all my children and their guests, never to go alone any place while there. They were to take one another by going anywhere in a two by two fashion. When I jumped up from the picnic table, running to go 'potty' which was a long way from where I was, I forgot what I had told them. My daughter had not though 'I was running toward the bathroom, when I heard something in the bushes. I remember thinking it was a deer or other small animal slowed down to not scare it.

Then as I walked past the bushes, I was grabbed from behind, pulling my long hair, swung me around to face him, and as he did, I was beaten in the face, with brass knuckles, then dragged by the hair, into the bushes, and left for dead. Luckily(?) my daughter had ran after me, to scold me for what I not done! When she saw me being dragged into the bushes, she screamed getting everyone's attention, at which the assailant fled. I only remember bits and pieces of the start of my journey. As I lay bleeding and dying, I could hear everyone saying oh my God, she will never survive that! Get the kid to the police. Someone called an ambulance, but when they got there, I heard some mumblings.

Then, I felt this overwhelming warmth, this over whelming sense of peace, love warmth, like I had never felt in this world before. I do remembering my life speeding past me, as some fast train that does not stop. But as it past, I was instructed, (I had my face bashed in so at this point, all I could do was hear). I was instructed by some mental means, to turn my head. Then pressure was put on each cheek. I felt this 'ball' that was a large object going out of my mouth. I was told that I would be okay; that I was going to be shown some things. I was going to hear some things and that as I went on, to look either at them, or at the other side. I was to always keep between them. (There apparently were two. They escorted me.) I felt this almost floating feeling, but it wasn't. It was what I would imagine; a puff of smoke would feel if it were floating upward. It wasn't like I was lying or I was anything physical.

Still, I have not found human words to tell of it. There just aren't words. Light? Oh, it was more, bigger, profoundly more, than just light. It was so vast! There was a cloud of warm, love. It was as if I was in love with the whole world, and everyone loved me back! It was such a glorious feeling, that I did not want to return. I felt no pain, no negatives in anyway. Then, I asked if I could stay. It was up to each of us. We have all choices. Our life is a gift to us. We make of it, as we want. There is a 'God' for lack of a better word, and it would have to be called LOVE! Now I understand some of my father's Bible. They must have all had NDE too because some of what I felt, never saw, until just before I left. I was going forward toward the light, and as I did so, the feeling of love got stronger, but suddenly I heard my daughter's screams and her 'praying to God', to not take her mommy! I instantly felt this 'pull' towards her cries. I then heard that I could still go back, but I would have great pain and suffering for a while, and was told some pretty profound things. But one thing, I have now just know, experiencing the 'future' that I would eventually start and need to finish, as it would help all.

So, here I am, just now talking about it. My parents, all my siblings are gone ahead of me now, as they were alive then. I have had so many operations, illnesses, and in all, I have come through as if I was immune. I would like to know, if you don't mind, did anyone ever at any time, feel they had been 'given' or left anything there? Like a bad habit, or them coming back with some kind of sixth sense? Because my mother was half Cherokee Indian, and very spiritual. However, I used to think it was all hogwash, until after that day. I do not even know what or how to describe it. I have these, 'feelings', now, and every single time I do, something I knew was going to pass, does! I have friends now that are starting to tell me God loves me because I am always on the money. I have dreams that come true. I have some kind of 'knowledge' about stuff I have never even heard of before. And I have this extra special love now. It isn't selfish. I can't change it. I can't make it go away.

Like when I feel in love with this man. I broke up with him, but the love is so strong. The man who beat me up, turned out to be my ex-husband, who had been very mean. I used to hate him, before he did what he did. I truly am either stark raving mad, or something very nice, very loving came back in me. I left all my negative unusable feelings, and brought back a newer me. It has taken so many years for me to finally put my finger on when this change started in me. Everyone has seen it. Some just think I am more Christian than before. I would have to say, I am less what my father taught me as a child, and more boundless loving kind of belief has taken over. I do not worry anymore. It too has gone. I cry a lot for everyone here. There is so much suffering. Thank you for allowing me an opportunity to finally share. Bless you all.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'July 3, 1989'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack 'my ex-husband, ( I later found out it was him, I was not sure then as I did not see) I was pulled by the hair from behind, as i flew around, he smashed my face in, causing no way for air to breath. he also had some kind of metal on his hands. I have had r Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'once found, was barely still alive, they started to transport by ambulance, but i flat lined, which they then called for the air medivac, I was dead, but, '' came back'' apparently on my own, after hearing my child's cries, in a police car. Face bashed in, no way to even put any way for air into my lungs, as blood was flowing outward from every orifice in my upper torso. Immediate swelling made it even worse.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I woke up in a cold, dark and very painful hospital!

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I woke up in a cold, dark and very painful hospital!

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning But all natural, like nothing wrong, do this all the time stuff. I had no negative feelings at all, at any time, almost like a trusting child.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was never allowed to see, until there, with my escorts. As my fleshly body had been bashed in my face, I could not see even when still alive. So, when I suddenly was able to, and in a heightened awareness, nothing mattered except what and where and how.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was perfected above earthly.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Out of is where I started to experience.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My escorts, I felt there were. They were one on each side of me, guiding me, helping me understand what was happening to me, they were my 'caregivers' until I reached my destination. Like someone sent them for me.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm CAN'T, JUST YET

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Profound sense of warmth, love above any feelings of love I had had before, nurturing like love in a womb, taken care of, no problems just being loved and cared for.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My life speed past me like a very fast train, and at times, a sort of sadness or less than joy came over me for a second. But it wasn't like a remorse. It was more like not my best, but did all I could thing. Like getting a 'B' on a hard test. I was still overjoyed. There were never any bad or negative feelings at any time.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future And even though I haven't talked about some of what has happened, all my friends are starting to 'notice' that something weird is happening.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'I was raised a Pentecostal, by a minister father. But, had not been going to church at the time for quite a while.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Cannot.

What is your religion now? Moderate 'none, but very '' enlightened'', and have non-dem principals'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Cannot.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Still do, and it is growing stronger every day.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Cannot.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Yes, as I changed from this one. At first, I could not put my finger on it. Coming from a very spiritual background, at first, put it down as that. However, as time goes on, and unusual 'things' happen in my life, others around me are starting to say, just what I heard that day many years ago! I believe, that each person having the rare privilege of getting to experience death, for that is exactly what it is, no matter how short, and come back to tell about it, bring back a piece, there just isn't any earthly words to say what I need! But I would say this, that if every single NDE person, could all stand next to each other, in one place, we would have such a 'power', or 'force', of LOVE, that there would not be anything on this plane, that would not be moved by it somehow, or felt in some way! Surely, just the amount of love, peace, nurturing, feelings I had, could change our cold, forgotten world.

I know that every 'bad', person I meet, changes in some small way, for the better of mankind. And it is not me. I am just some vessel that had the privilege of getting a 'toe' or twenty minutes in a very healing and loving place. I also do not know what to call it. In my upbringing, I would call it heaven. However, after experiencing it, I have no name now, just glorious, the most brilliant, most omnipotent place? If you made me put a word, to what it would be like, I would have to say, it must be what we feel, when we are in our mother's womb! That is about the closest, in my tongue, I can come to it. I came back with many, GIFTS. I feel, for I am a normal being, with faults and bad habits, like all of us here except now, I cannot hate. I just cannot hate. The man who beat me up, did me a favor, he really did. I now understand so many happenings, in my life, and with others.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have above, wow!

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I was very childish and selfish before, being the baby of the family. But changed dramatically. Material things used to matter to me more than anything or humans. Now, I come in naked I go out naked. But there is such a healing needed for not just us, but our planet, our world has also been treated very cruel. I feel more in touch with earth than before. Things, all things, every word has more meaning now. And, the most important factor is, I was given a gift; a gift of able to love any and all, unconditionally. I never could before. This is not make believe. I have had people steal from me, and it was like so what, how did it make you feel? Did you ask me to forgive you? Well I do. At the same time, it is like what I give out I get back. It is not like I may have had, sometimes better, sometimes not. I lose a household of possessions, and then I get them! From the most unexpected places too.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I started telling people about my beings or angels as some called them, but my family was from a different type of religion, so stopped until later. But as time goes on, whatever, or whoever is making it come out and come true.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Just don't talk about to those that don't want to hear. Like I am not to impose on anyone, hurt anyone, or take from anyone unless it comes from love.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Every day it gets stronger more 'there' I am getting closer to returning, and I know it. I may be years from it, but with each passing day, I grow closer. Not some kind of wanting to, more of a knowledge, but not concerned.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I went a place, if you can call it that, which changed my life forever. More than the beating that smashed my face in did. I left a part of me there, and brought back a tiny piece of it with me. I tell everyone, I got a toe in heaven, and there is so much love there, a small bit escaped within me.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You are doing what you can, when you can. Just be sure to notice.