I had the morning before said to my husband that I loved him and if anything happened to me that he was to keep on doing things as he did. I had flipped over three tarot cards (something I only do on the odd occasion) because I didn't really want the induction. The tarot cards were the wheel of fortune, Death, and the World. We went to the hospital for the induction and it progressed really well until that evening when the baby was moving down but the contractions were getting very hard. Eventually after three internals by two midwives, they called the obstetrician in to have a look. He informed us that if he didn't do a C-section both the baby and I would be facing death. So I got prepped for surgery, was wheeled down the hall to theater with my husband thinking at least it will all be over soon and the baby would be out and after I can go home.My husband sat with me and we all were talking while the surgeons were doing the operation. The anesthetist was telling me a joke and making sure that the epidural was at the right level. I remember them passing my husband the baby and saying 'go and take some photos of your son while they weigh him.' Off he went, and then I needed to cough; only I couldn't. I remember saying 'oh I can't breathe' and I was walking through the most amazing trees I had ever seen. The color, the light, indescribable, human eyes miss so much of the color in the World, we are so limited in what we can see. People surrounded me. I was communicating with all of them at the same time. I felt amazing, loved, at peace, utterly content. Sadly I don't remember what was being talked about (feelings aren't words). I know that I had a choice, I didn't have to return, I could stay, and I was so loved. I saw my husband with a little girl of three or four with straight hair (my oldest daughter had wavy hair). I chose to come back. Coming back, I was trying to breathe with a resuscitation mask over my mouth and nose. As they were sucking, the air out I was trying to breathe the air in. I had been given adrenaline. My eyes see the surgeon waiting, hands down by his side, and my husband holding my son looking at me silently, watching with the most incredible look on his face. They were waiting to see if they needed to use the paddles. I was back; the surgeon was very worried, and stitched me up very quickly. I reached over and touched my husband and son, and felt amazing. I was empowered, alive and felt indescribable. I told the team (who were still in shock) that I had been to the most amazing place. My midwife came to see us. I had to spend the rest of the night and next day in ICU for monitoring. I was tired and my eyes couldn't focus, but I was so elated. My body didn't want to move (not just because of the epidural either). The surgeons were at a loss and had to write up incident reports and try to explain it. My wonderful midwife listened to me tell my experience, amazed and just relieved I was still alive. My husband was in absolute shock. My baby was fine in all ways and being looked after in the maternity unit until the next day. The next morning I woke. I felt awful but the memory was still there. I wanted to go back. I enjoyed that feeling of completeness. I was eventually allowed to go up to the Maternity ward to see my son. My husband, after finally getting home and having some sleep (still in shock), came into see me with our daughter. I was still exhausted. My eyes were all over the place and having trouble focusing but I still had that feeling of aliveness. After time went on, my baby had reflux, and life began to seem like I had fallen into a parallel universe. With a screaming infant, all I wanted to do was go back to the beauty of the other side. This sounds bizarre perhaps but I would question often why did I come back, why didn't they let me know this was happening, why, why? I had (and still get) an intense longing to return to the other side. I have three children now, one 8 years old, one 6 years old (my son) and one just turned 4 years old. She has long straight hair. The other day my husband lifted her up and it looked just like the image I saw on the other side. Ah yes that's why. Life is beautiful and I know the memory has lessened of my NDE; however, this is a good thing. The World, at the moment, is very much in pain, and for the last 6 years being human has been important to me. I am slowly going back to my beliefs before my NDE but they are altered with understanding. So much is missing from the bible, so much has been altered and much of Jesus' teachings make sense in their true context but not in the interpreted ones delivered by 'man'. Many cultures have myths that are similar, including the Jewish with their Angels and Demons. I don't believe in hell. I feel that the Devil is a misrepresentation of an 'angel' of humans. We create our own pain and misery no one creates it for us. We create our own love and beauty. No one does it for us. I read fantasy novels because of the beauty within the pages and recently I read a series called Crowthistle, and Bitterbyde which describes the Langothe, a terrible yearning for the Fairy world, and thought 'oh my god, that's how I feel.' The author has based the series on collections of fables from Europe and the UK and created these incredible books. The world of Fairy disappeared with the dominance of Christ in nearly all countries; including the Pacific (they have their other people too). They have disappeared as the World has grown more selfish and less appreciative of the Earth and the seasons etc. Since my experience I have looked for answers which the bible cannot answer, spiritualism can't give, even other peoples' near death experience seem to not be able to answer. It's interesting to find the worlds in fiction and fairy tales.
Date NDE Occurred: 18/05/2005
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related. Childbirth. Heart stopped, resuscitated and adrenalin given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Heart stopped, resuscitated and adrenalin given
I had been in induced labor for 18 hours and the baby was stuck. An emergency C-section was performed under epidural which was in some ways life threatening for baby and me but in other ways a regular thing for the doctors to be doing.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was aware of everything, communicating with all around me and yet still at peace.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time. I would love to be able to reconnect to that level again.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
I was only 'out' for less than 1min 30secs. But I felt I had been there for so long yet not long enough. I walked and communicated with so many others.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have glasses for slight visual impairment but only wear them while driving. During the experience, the colors were amazing and gave me the feeling that that is what they really look like. Not bright but true. Transparency yes, but a feeling I was a part of everything around me, not separate to it. Depth yet everything was there.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I'm deaf and wear two hearing aids. I have been deaf since birth and loss is approximately 75% in each ear. During the experience, there were sounds: a vibration, hum, song constantly.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Not a tunnel. Darkness then light, but I walked/floated/moved down an ancient path lined with trees.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Again, I didn't need to know who was there. They were there! That was what was important. My time there was so long and I had communicated with so many but what wasn't important was the names. Names are only important here in this world. Religion wasn't important either, nor whether they were male or female.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The light was just incredibly beautiful. The colors were so vibrant.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was beautiful and colorful. An ancient path wider than a road, lined with tall trees, yet unmarked with footprints. The trees were astounding, the color gold but not gold. The whole place was alive.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, contentment, love
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe But I can't remember all of my understandings but have a sense that some things don't make sense in this World
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I saw my husband and my now 4 year old daughter together and after that I chose to come back. I don't recall saying that to anyone but knew that I had communicated about it with all of them.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I have many different beliefs that make up my belief system, native American, Buddhist, aspects of Christianity, Wicca, - I think there is truth in all religions which has been over shadowed by man's interpretation of them. I also believe that fairies, Angels, and 'aliens' are more related than we realize - especially after the experience above. Interpretations have distorted our understandings of reality.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I ask more of the writings on spiritual beliefs. I believe less of what I hear of psychics and look for mistakes. I know that names aren't as important as people believe. What is important is living now. To the best that we can.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I have many different beliefs that make up my belief system, native American, Buddhist, aspects of Christianity, wiccan, - I think there is truth in all religions which has been over shadowed by man's interpretation of them. I also believe that fairies, Angels, and 'aliens' are more related than we realize - especially after the experience above. Interpretations have distorted our understandings of reality.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I didn't know about the communicating part - being so connected with all around. I knew about the peace, love but not the extent to how the feeling would be. I didn't know what I would see, I did think I would speak with one or two people or someone would guide me there but I knew exactly where I was going and couldn't wait to get there, I also felt young and ancient at the same time. All was familiar but nothing was.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain More so after the last six years and seeing the changes in the Earth and with people. 'Things' have sped up.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The people/beings were there. It wasn't important to name, they just were. I spoke with people. I had an immediate feeling I knew them all. The importance wasn't what they were called.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain The people/beings were there - it wasn't important to name, they just were, I spoke with people, I had an immediate feeling I knew them all - the importance wasn't what they were called.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I felt like I was going home, returning after a long journey, when I came back to 'earth' I felt homesick and didn't belong here after all. The whole experience felt right.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Interconnectedness with absolutely everything around me. I felt I was a part of the landscape, the people there, the light, the colour everything. I felt this was very important as we need to be aware of it now on earth too.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I learnt there is something that is more than just me.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes There is more to us than our Earthly minds and bodies. A sense that there is more life and experience to come for all of us, the sense that the separation from the other side isn't for much longer, but that it doesn't mean the end of the Earth. We need each other.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain The whole experience showed me that there is life after death. Not solid mass life as we live it now but more that we are able to continue on. Also that there is more to us inside than what goes on in our heads... so to speak. We as humans are limited,
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was love, loved and could give love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience was so beautiful. The only way to truly share it would be to take others there. Much of what I remember is hard for people to understand; it's about feeling.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of being home.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The doctors. They couldn't believe it. The midwife and my husband were most supportive. It's too fanciful and beautiful for people to really understand.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I've grown up knowing it. I think the only thing would have been the openness I have towards it. I knew where I was going and had no hesitation in going there.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Although some has faded which is perhaps a good thing, I was there. I knew I was there.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is still so very real to me. I still feel like I miss it, and can't wait to go home. But I know I have some other stuff to do first.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes A dream. After, I thought I was going back, but I wasn't ready.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes. During the experience, I felt interconnectedness with absolutely everything around me. I felt I was a part of the landscape, the people there, the light, the color, everything. I felt this was very important, as we need to be aware of it now on earth too.
The whole experience showed me that there is life after death. Not solid mass life as we live it now but more that we are able to continue on. Also that there is more to us inside than what goes on in our heads so to speak. We as humans are limited, but it is important to live as humans as we have to learn to live with our limitations. Be parents, be workers and try to be caretakers for the world.
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