The whole criminal attack 'ordeal' lasted many hours. I've learnt that most people cannot stomach the crime details. Some are curious about the spiritual aspect. Some of the spiritual things are for me personally and not for the general public. I'm going to focus on the NDE. Jesus spoke to me. It sounded like a loud, clear voice behind me. The Light was all around me. We (Jesus and I) had a long conversation, but it must have been only a split second of earth time while the gun on my forehead had the trigger pulled. He told me that it was ok if I wanted to die. Jesus' words: "It is ok if you want to die now or you can choose to live"Jesus uses very few words. He is very loving and very kind. His eyes ooze with love. He was angry and I knew and understood why. It is not something I feel to explain.During the ordeal I was talking to Jesus and not aware of my physical body being stabbed.Many things happened during the ordeal.In the police report I said there were 4 male criminals. The friend with me said in his report there were 5 men. He said one was standing watching over me the whole time. Understand that I had clear vision and no one was standing next to me. The friend with me had been sprayed in the face with insect spray. I understand that 'the being' he was referring to is my guardian angel. The 'angel' was not Jesus. I know the angel has been present in other situations. I don't pray to my angel. I pray to my Heavenly Father as Jesus directs us to do in what is known as "The Lord's Prayer". I feel that there is a connection with the angel; like he or "it" has been assigned to me for my lifetime. Narrative explanation (integration) in Biblical TermsUnderstand that at the time of this ordeal, I had not yet read these Bible references. I have only found them recently. I am quoting them as I feel that they explain exactly what I mean.Jesus spoke to me. It sounded like a loud, clear voice behind me. (What I imagine John heard in The Revelation) The Light was all around me. (What I imagine Paul experienced on the road to Damascus when he was still called Saul). I say The Light with a capital letter as I think this is The Light John is referring to when he says Jesus (YahShua/YeShua the Messiah) is The Light.We (Jesus and I) had a long conversation, but it must have been only a split second of earth time while the gun on my forehead had the trigger pulled. He told me that it was ok if I wanted to die. Jesus' words: "It is ok if you want to die now or you can choose to live"Jesus uses very few words. He is very loving and very kind. His eyes ooze with love.He was angry and I knew and understood why. It is not something I feel to explain. I am not saying "He is an angry God". He is a loving God, slow to anger, compassionate and kind, but we can make His anger boil/burn against us, like Moses did with his refusal to obey. Exodus chapter 3 and 4 for Moses story; 4:14 "then the Lord's anger burned against Moses". In the ordeal was a bit like this > Acts 7:59,60 described in the Bible when Stephen was dying. He looked up and saw Jesus even although he was being stoned. During the ordeal I was talking to Jesus and not aware of my physical body being stabbed.Many things happened during the ordeal.In the police report I said there were 4 male criminals. The friend with me said in his report there were 5 men. He said one was standing watching over me the whole time. Understand that I had clear vision and no one was standing next to me. The friend with me had been sprayed in the face with insect spray. I understand that 'the being' he was referring to is my guardian angel. The 'angel' was not Jesus. I know the angel has been present in other situations. I don't pray to my angel. I pray to my Heavenly Father as Jesus directs us to do in what is known as "The Lord's Prayer". I feel that there is a connection with the angel; like he or "it" has been assigned to me for my lifetime.
Date NDE Occurred: 18 Feb 1999
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death
The man walked in the door pointed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger. I was shot. The bullet stopped on my forehead, so the man shook the gun. The bullet dropped onto the floor because it didn't go through my head. This happened in a split second. That was the beginning of my experience and was the first of many miracles. The entire criminal attack lasted a few hours.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I was aware of what was going on around me. In a previous question, you have 'lost awareness of my body' but the questions don't let me answer both. So what happened was that my physical body was being stabbed multiple times, although I did not know this at the time. When I was sitting in the hospital, I was looking at my thigh, I saw lines of blood and I was wondering what happened. When I went to clean up the house after the event, I found the bloodstained knife and then I understood what the 'cuts' were that had needed stitches. I had been kicked and there was a boot mark bruise imprinted on my back. I did not recall this kick. It probably happened while I was with Jesus. There was no pain. I thought at the time there was no pain because of adrenaline. But years later, I look back on it all very differently with new understanding as the experience unravels and I am able to understand it better.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was aware of both realms at the same time. Normally, I know the other realm exists but I don't live in both at the same time, consciously all the time.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was conscious the entire time. I never lost consciousness. I was aware of the two realms: the physical one and the spiritual one.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Earthly time was a split second. It felt like a long, relaxed conversation that was not sped up in my mind. It was just normal speed.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Heightened awareness
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Heightened awareness, I could hear conversations in other rooms. It was as if I was elevated above it all. Yes, I was out of my body but I felt connected to it too.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright white light but didn't hurt my eyes.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was aware of stuff outside of my immediate surroundings in the next room but not like events somewhere else on the globe. I felt many emotions through it all. I did feel a sense of peace but the experience that got me there wasn't pleasant.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I had like a 'knowing'
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I had a â€˜knowingâ€™. Jesus said 'ok', and in that instant, it was as if I knew and understood.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life In the physical realm, the bullet didn't go through my head. For some reason, it faltered in the gun, and then it pressed against my forehead.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths On the 18 Feb 1999 I was classified as 'Christian', because the being was Jesus.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I know God of the Old Testament; the angry God of wrath is very real. It's not all 'gentle Jesus meek and mild'. The God of the Old Testament is very much the God of the New Testament! Malachi says the Lord DOESN'T CHANGE. Christians make out as if He is all grace now. New Age people are soppy it's 'all LOVE' but love is more than soppy. He chastens those he loves. I know He loves me. I know He allowed the criminal attack BECAUSE He loves me enough to rebuke me and correct me. It is a false perception to think that God doesn't get angry. He is very patient and tolerant but there comes a point where He goes 'THAT IS ENOUGH!' or 'STOP IT!'
(NDERF Note: the NDEr does not indicate that the she met an angry God or was told about the angry God in the NDE experience itself.)
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I believe in Jesus. I read the Bible. I dont believe in the extra biblical books. This aligns me with 'Christian Protestant' but I feel this 'group' isnt a true description of my beliefs. It is a religion. Jesus the Messiah is not a religion.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was told we don't choose if we die, your time is your time. But Jesus said 'it's ok if you WANT TO DIE now or you can CHOOSE TO LIVE'.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The voice I've described. The Being in the police reports.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Interesting. Well Q19 No because Jesus isn't dead He is alive and risen. Q20 Jesus. Q21 other beings like dead people, ancestors, No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes He told me... he revealed.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes These questions boggle my brain. Are you asking if there is some type of interconnectedness? Yes, there is something. I would call it 'the spiritual realm' or explain it, as things are understood in an almost telepathic type of 'knowing' way. But do I feel equal to God? NO not at all.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Jesus is like a reflection of God in a mirror that mankind can look upon. God the whole being is too holy. I think, how else do I explain? He is so holy. But Jesus we can touch. God definitely exists.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Not fully comprehending it all.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes A few things, one was A Knowing that when I returned it was going to be hard. Knowing that, but not fully understanding or comprehending fully what that would mean.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I knew if I died, I would continue. My soul would not 'end'.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Perspectives change. I no longer want 'things' and stuff. They become 'dull'. I don't really want to be here anymore. I would rather be with Jesus 'there' wherever 'there' was. It is a place. I had to work through that and chose to LIVE, THRIVE, and embrace this life on earth. I learned that JOY IS A CHOICE and I must choose it.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Jesus told me 'it will be a struggle'.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Jesus is love. He oozes love. The essence of love. Unconditional love. Later I understood 1 John 4:8 God is love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? A type of ESP, I guess you would call it. I sense things. People don't understand. As an example: my son picked up a starfish and brought it home from the beach. He put it into my hand. I heard and felt it screaming. I got such a fright. I could feel its pain. Until then, I didn't even realize a starfish was an animal with a 'soul'. If a soul includes emotions, (mind, will, and emotions) then a starfish has a soul. It affected me so deeply to hear and feel the starfish crying, that I began to cry.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Jesus brought me my husband within 1 month of the incident and we were married that year. My husband knows that Jesus is God.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes People don't understand.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was personal and special, Significant.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Just wrote about the starfish as an example. Sometimes I just know people are lying to me or that they are saying something with their mouth but that it isn't what they are saying in their heart. Sometimes it's like I perceive things. Like a knowledge of why someone is sick.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not the NDE as much as the initial vision of Jesus in 1979 is very significant to me. He was standing at the end of my bed. Elevated. It was as if He was through the ceiling but he was normal size not gigantic just not confined to the limitations of the natural realm. He stood there with His arms stretched open to me. He was surrounded by white light. He has beautiful loving brown eyes. It annoys me when I see him portrayed with green or blue or any other color eyes. His eyes were so significant to me. So loving. His eyes even smile and ooze love and joy. For most of my life, I just assumed this was normal. I didn't realize seeing into the 'spirit realm' was not 'normal' and that very few people actually understood what the heck I was about; I didn't talk about it. When I started talking about it, I realized people didn't get it, so I went quiet again.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I have shared flickers and glimpses but for the most part No. This questionnaire has the most that I have shared.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real. I knew straight away it was very real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real People don't believe me. They say stupid things like 'well that was your reality'.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes In 1979, I had a 'vision' of Jesus in my bedroom. This was not a NDE. It was something that just happened. I would describe it as He revealed himself to me. I did not know who he was, but my Spirit knew. I exclaimed 'Jesus!' and went into a bowing-down, worshipping-type of position physically. I left that vision wanting to know who Jesus was. The 'place' I found him was the Bible. But I got, and still get, very irritated with churches. When this encounter NDE happened in 1999, I knew it was the same Jesus.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It hurts me when people don't believe in Jesus. It hurts me when they swear using his name. It hurts me because I love Him. It's like when someone swears at your child or your mother. It is terrible to see people do this.
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