Terminated my baby 2 days before, due to my age and I was heart broken and hated myself for doing it.I went to bed as normal. I went to a place but it was just pink fluffy clouds and bright light. There was the most beautiful choir music too. I could feel hundreds of people looking at me and smiling although I couldn't see them and there was a very strong smell in the air of flowers although I couldn't see any. In front of me stood my great Nan and great granddad, my little brother and my Nan was holding a baby. All deceased. My Nan handed me the baby and although I couldn't see the baby just its blanket I instinctively knew it was my baby. My brother kept trying to pull me with him but my Nan kept pushing me back and saying 'go back it's not your time, you're needed.' I felt sad and confused as to why my Nan didn't want me but I soon felt exhilarated and happy. I woke up to my boyfriend giving mouth to mouth he said I'd stopped breathing in my sleep. I wasn't scared by this I felt safe and happy. Right then I knew I was forgiven for my terrible mistake.
Date NDE Occurred: April 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No i regrettably terminated my baby 2 days before 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal when my Nan spoke to me.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my Nan spoke to me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. everything was brighter and such as the clouds I could see every tiny detail
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. the music sounded echo-like and muffled yet I could still understand every word
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes in front of me my great grandparents, brother and my baby. I believe I was given the chance to know my child was safe but I was told it wasn't my time to die.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes it was seeping through big fluffy clouds but was still the most illuminating bright light I've ever seen as if I was close to the sun
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm all i saw was light and big fluffy pink clouds as if i were walking through them.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? extremely happy and safe although at one point felt rejected
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have since had a few dreams that have later came true
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal none
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I knew the baby was mine and that I was forgiven
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have since had a few dreams that have later came true
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? the baby I believe was the baby I had just terminated
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told people straight away all of my family believe in the afterlife so they thought it was amazing
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes TV and books
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real to this day I still believe it was real and it happened at a time of need when I was at a low point of my life
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real to this day I still believe it was real and it happened at a time of need when I was at a low point of my life
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe my baby was needed elsewhere and that is why spirit forgive me
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